What a Rainbow feels like
by Dariel
Summary: VH AU She’s a young woman with perfect control over her life that is not always easy, not willing to believe in love until she meets him whose every step is followed by the shadow of his past, determined to change her mind...not willing to give up
1. Catching a sunbeam

**Hey there!!! Look who's back!! hides behind chair I know I've two other stories running but I couldn't resist! I wrote this for my two teddies hugs them til they're out of breath No, this isn't a birthday present coz it would be way too late (though I don't complain about belated presents winks at b-teddy)...it's just dedicated to them! You see, my girls, this one's for you!!!  
**  
__

_"Only with the heart one can see well. The essential part is invisible for the eye."  
_ **Antoine de Saint-Exupéry**

=_What a Rainbow feels like=  
_  
**One. Catching a sunbeam  
#When I see the sparkle in your eyes, I can do nothing but smile#  
**  
Heat was crawling along the streets like water through canals, sunlight that was reflected in countless windows flooding the people on the sidewalks. The quiet sound of feet in flip flops running over paved ground and the scratching of claws on warm stones were just two of the innumerable noises on the street, at one day in early summer.  
  
"Tiara, not so fast!"  
  
But the complaining was in vain. The Golden Retriever simply dragged the young woman across the sidewalks of the city. It was a sunny Friday afternoon and the streets were crowded with cars, hooting and causing traffic jam. A lot of people were on their way home from work and their conversations filled the air, mixing with the monotonuous concert of the cicades, their endless melody hovering in the warm gorges between the skyscrapers for there was no wind to carry it away.  
  
The deep baritone of an elder man was loudly trying to sell the last copies of the daily newspaper, making it palatable to his customers with the newest scandals of some celebrity. He was surrounded by the overwhelming, sweet scent of roses and lillies which was floating in the air like thick fog, coming from a flower shop nearby and caressing her senses.  
  
It was when she passed a full restaurant at the street and entered a cloud that smelled like fresh-cooked meal, the clinking of dishes and the moving of chairs following her along her way.  
  
The young woman stumbled behind her dog, her short honey-blond hair swaying with her movements. The violet pullover she wore, with sleeves that reached to her elbows, slacked slightly around her slim form, sunglasses hiding her bright green eyes. With her left arm, she held two bags full of vegetables, bread and yoghurt, indicating that she had just been shopping while her right arm was almost stretched to the maximum by her dog.  
  
Oh, if she just hadn't listened to her mother! But she hadn't been able to resist when her mother had asked her to go shopping, her little brother calling from the kitchen and asking if it was right when the cake flowed out of the cake tin.  
  
A small smile found its way onto her features but it vanished by the moment she bumped right into someone and it was more like running straight into a wall for her. She gasped and was thrown backwards, her hands instinctively letting go of her dog and the bags. Hitomi hit the hard asphalt at the same time as did her bags, their contents spilled noisily over the sidewalk. For a brief moment, she lost her orientation, the strangely dull sound of Tiara happily barking and a deep voice apologizing swirling through her mind.  
  
"Hey!" the male voice insisted impatiently, waking her from her daze, her shoulders in a strong grip. "Are you alright?"  
  
"Huh?" Hitomi replied and reached with her hand up to her head, touching her forehead and adjusting her sunglasses. "Yes, I think, I'm fine."  
  
The grip around her shoulders loosened instantly. "Gods, I'm so sorry!" the young man who had shouted at her apologized again, after releasing the breath he had been holding. "I didn't see you! You appeared out of no-where and I simply didn't see you! Are you sure you're alright?"  
  
She smiled about the worry in his voice and absently smoothed her once white skirt, palms sore from connecting with the ground. "Yeah, I'm fine and don't worry, that happens quite often to me."  
  
"Okay," he replied with a sigh and his clothes rustled softly when he swiftly rose to his feet. "Let me help you to stand up."  
  
Hitomi shook her head vigorously, her short hair flying. "No no, it's okay. I can..." her sentence ended in a gasp when he grabbed her wrist and uncompromisingly pulled her up with no effort, making her feel as if she weighed nothing at all.  
  
She was too surprised to react when her feet touched solid ground and stumbled against him, her hands clumsily fisting in his shirt and his scent immediately surrounding her; warm and fresh like a rainshower over a wide field. She felt her cheeks flush at the unfamiliar closeness.  
  
"You don't seem fine at all," the young man stated and she could hear the frown on his face. She had no chance to protest when he led her a few meters and put her onto a chair, the whispers of the people in the café audible in the background. "Maybe you hit your head. You should sit down and rest a bit while I go pick up your groceries."  
  
Hitomi nodded mutely and exhaled exasperatedly, leaning against the creaking backrest of the wooden chair she was sitting on with her hands on her forehead. Her heart was still beating violantly within her chest and a stinging pain emitted from her coccyx which had unselfishly caught her fall. Not her day. Definitely, not her day.  
  
"Well, I think I found everything," the raven-haired man stated, after collecting Hitomi's groceries from the oddst of places (who could have known a tin filled with corn can roll to the feet of a black and not very friendly dog?) and ran a hand through his dishevelled strands that were sparkling in the sunlight like polished onyx. "Only two yoghurts didn't survive the fall but I think we can cope with it."  
  
He grinned lop-sidedly, revealing his white teeth, and held out the bags for her to take. Making no move, Hitomi just sighed and mumbled a thanks, making him blink and look dumbfoundedly at her, hands still stretched out. He was just about to open his mouth, black brows knitted in a frown, when she tensed, a thought suddenly coming to her mind.  
  
"My dog!" Hitomi exclaimed and turned around, holding out her hands. "Tiara! Where are you, girl?"  
  
Van watched in realization when the beige dog, who was calmly sitting beside the young woman, leaned in and licked her fingers. A smile spread across her soft features and she patted Tiara gently with delicate hands.  
  
"Good girl," she said while stroking over the dog's forehead, enjoying the feeling of the soft fur under her fingertips. "But next time, not that fast, okay?!"  
  
"You're blind," Van stated bluntly with an awe in his voice as if he had just discovered that Gaea is round, and sat down opposite her, his rare, auburn eyes focused on her.  
  
"Obvious, isn't it?" Hitomi replied with a smile and looked up, turning instinctively in the direction of his voice. It was rich and deep, pleasant to her ears in a strange kind of way. It was one of those voices she would hear above hundreds of other ones, in a room filled with people.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't intend to offend you. I just noticed that-that..." he stuttered, desperately searching for a way out of where he had put his foot just in, and Hitomi helped him out of his misery by interupting him softly.  
  
"It's okay," she assured him, averting her blind gaze downwards. "After all, you couldn't have known."  
  
"But I could have been a bit less blunt," he continued, folding his tanned hands and leaning onto the stone table that separated him and the honey- blonde.  
  
"No, it's okay," Hitomi insisted, her voice slightly impatient and almost a little bit angry.  
  
"Fine," the young man replied after a brief silence, a light frown visible on his features that had already caught quite some attention among the female guests in the café, innumerable eyes watching him silently. His intimidating height and dark looks were way too striking to not be noticed but he, of course, was oblivious to the stares, his interest focused only on her. "But I can, at least, invite you to a drink or something as a pathetic attempt to make up for standing in your way."  
  
"Well, I actually don't have any time," she told him with an apologetic smile and attempted to fish for Tiara's leash. "You're forgiven, no need then to make up."  
  
A smirk flashed across his handsome features and a mischievous sparkle entered his boundless orbs that if she had had her eyesight, would have told her that he was not willing to let her go just like that. He sensed that she didn't feel comfortable and somehow he knew that making her stay would be like trying to catch a sunbeam.  
  
"What if I don't accept your forgiveness?" he countered and the smirk stretched into a lop-sided grin, his tall body slumped in the wooden chair, making him look like a lazy tiger. And though nobody would have doubted that he could be out of his seat within the blink of an eye, his posture radiating   
  
Hitomi stopped her actions of departure to frown at him. "Why wouldn't you?"  
  
"Why would I?" Van replied with laughter in his eyes. "Please, it's not as if I'm asking for you to spend the night with me or anything. A few minutes, a water, please."  
  
"You're not giving me this puppy dog look, now do you?!" she questioned, brushing a stubborn strand out of her face. "Because that doesn't work on me, you know."  
  
He blinked at her and suddenly threw his head back, his deep laughter echoing into the summer sky. Heads turned to watch the handsome, young man chuckle, his shoulders shaking, and there had to be something contagious around him for Hitomi couldn't stop the shadow of a smile from crossing her features.  
  
"Oh, come on," Van whined when he had slightly calmed down. "You don't bump into people and let them go without even getting to know their name."  
  
"You want to know my name?" the sandy-blonde asked, her delicate brows knitted and her hands folded in her lap.  
  
"That would be a start, yes," he answered and she could hear the amusement in his voice. "Maybe it's easier for you when I start; my name is Van Fanel."  
  
Hitomi had her gaze directed to the ground, her ears pricked in order to decipher the intention behind his words and behavior. "Okay, Mr Fanel..."  
  
"Van," he corrected her and she looked up.  
  
"Hitomi," she stated. "Hitomi Kanzaki."  
  
"It's a pleasure to meet you, miss Kanzaki," Van grinned and turned in his seat to call for the waiter he had been silently watching the whole time. "And now, allow me to treat you to a drink."  
  
"Wait, I never said I would stay!" Hitomi hastily protested, almost rising from her chair.  
  
"But nor did you say you wouldn't," he countered and she knew he was smirking. "Your order?"  
  
Her lips pressed to a thin line, she glared at him. What was it he was doing to her? She usually wasn't the one to be speechless. She was used to have the last word but there she was, in a café with a stranger compelling her to a drink by simply letting her no possibility to take a breath and say no. But then again, she was sure that he wouldn't accept a no and ignore it.  
  
"A water is enough," she sighed and leaned back in her chair, listening to Van order her water and to her dog's fast but rhythmical breathing.  
  
It was silent after the waiter had left. She heard his deep and regular breaths and that he leaned back in his chair, stretching his legs under the table and making his clothes rustle softly in the process. And she felt his eyes on her.  
  
"What?" Hitomi asked warily and startled him out of his thoughts, the young man dragging a hand through his raven-black strands.  
  
"Nothing..." he replied slowly and shifted in his chair, the glued wood creaking quietly under his weight. "It's just...I don't know, I just never met someone like you before."  
  
"Am I that different?" the sandy-blonde questioned quietly, her head turned away from him.  
  
It was always like that. As soon as the topic changed to her blindness, people started to act different. What she felt most then were nervousness and distance, as if they feared to do something wrong, rather staying away from her than taking the risk to offend her. And she had learned to keep her distance as well as people kept their distance towards her.  
  
"No no!" Van hastily interupted her trail of thoughts with this melodic voice of his, waving his hands before running them through his hair again, a desperate sigh escaping his lips. "Gods, I really tend to put my foot in it. I didn't mean to offend you, really."  
  
"You already said that," Hitomi replied, leaning onto the table and Tiara rested her head in her lap. "But don't worry, I'm not offended. You could say I'm used to it for people often act like that."  
  
The auburn-eyed man watched her with a deep frown and crossed his arms in front of his chest before he spoke, his sleeveless, red shirt brushing gently over his skin with the motion. "Can I ask you something?" he questioned seriously and Hitomi blinked in surprise.  
  
"Of course," she responded slowly and leaned a bit backwards, her delicate brows rising in anticipation over the rim of her sunglasses. Tiara whined softly and adjusted herself in Hitomi's lap again, the young woman patting her head absently.  
  
"I mean, I can't imagine how it is to not see anything. No colours, no forms, no structures," he began and shifted his position again, propping his elbow on the thin armrest of his chair. "How do you...well..."  
  
"...see the world?" Hitomi offered with a small smile when Van trailed off, obviously at a loss of words.  
  
"Yeah!" he exclaimed exasperatedly and put his hands on the table again as if to stress his point.  
  
The young woman sighed and brushed a honey-blond strand out of her face. How often she had been asked this question, she couldn't count. And explaining a world without colours to someone with eyesight was like trying to explain to a blind person that there were colours.  
  
But she knew that he was waiting for her answer and right then, she couldn't tell why she explained him at all; explained to a stranger she had just bumped into, someone she didn't know, someone whose way she would never cross again.  
  
"You see," Hitomi began and ran with her hand over her dog's soft fur, Tiara closing her eyes in contentment. "My world consists of noises, scents and emotions. I connect events and places with what I heard, smelled and felt. And I do see something if I can say so."  
  
Van was quiet, listening attentively to her every word and watching her with curious eyes that sparkled an intense red from between strands of unruly hair. He watched a light breeze rustle through her tresses, delicate strands sparkling like a prism in the sunlight, her dark sunglasses a strong contrast to her creamy, pale skin. The whole time, he wondered what was behind them for he couldn't see through the glass.  
  
"When I touch things, I can feel their outlines and can imagine how they look," she continued, revealing white teeth whenever her lips parted. "It's like seeing silhouettes. And I can also feel structure. For example, I can feel the smooth and cold surface of this table," Hitomi said and ran with her fingers carefully over the table. "I can feel the little crevices here and there and I can feel that the structure is changing, like a pattern. It feels like a marble imitation."  
  
"Impressive," Van replied with a nod and she could hear the acknowledgement in his deep voice.  
  
"If you gave me a coin, I could even tell you when it had been coined by feeling it," she stated, only to smirk a second later. "Your frown is so intense that I can hear it, Van."  
  
The young man raised his dark brows in surprise and smiled when he watched her grin. Her eyes had to be sparkling. "When one sense is missing, the other ones are better developed," Hitomi continued with a shrug. "I hear and feel a lot better than you for there are no visual impressions to distract me."  
  
"I don't doubt that," Van assured her with a wide grin that made his eyes crinkle at the ends, their red dancing with sunlight which fell through dark lashes.  
  
"One time, I was allowed to touch an elephant in the zoo," she continued quietly and looked down at Tiara who was happily enjoying to be caressed. "It was the greatest experience in my entire life. I can still feel this wrinkled but soft skin under my fingertips, can feel the incredible warmth radiating from this gigantic body, can hear the huge heart beat as loud as a drum."  
  
A warm smile crept upon Van's features when he listened to her and he knew that her eyes were shining behind the sunglasses.  
  
"Did you touch any other animal?" he asked softly, his eyes never leaving her features.  
  
"Of course," Hitomi chuckled and looked up at him. "Dogs, cats, birds and quite some other animals but I know what you mean. The elephant was the only exotic animal I touched." She grinned. "The poor things have to watch out because I want to touch them all! I want to know how a lion's fur differs from the one of a tiger, want to know how the scales of snakes feel and the wet skin of dolphins. Oh, I love dolphins and whales and all these other animals in the sea. My mom sais that I've been a mermaid in one of my former lives."  
  
"Excuse me?" a polite, male voice interupted her giggles and she felt Van jerk across the table, making it shake lightly. He must've been deep in thoughts. "Here is the water you ordered." The glasses clinked faintly when the waiter placed them on the table, the clear liquid swepping in its transparent cage. "Are you okay again, miss? Your fall seemed quite painful."  
  
Hitomi smiled up at the young voice. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you," she replied and the waiter left with a nod.  
  
Slowly but unerringly, her delicate hands groped across the table for the glass, closing firmly around it and lifting it to her lips. She took a sip and placed it carefully on the table again. This time, she didn't even hear him breathe.  
  
"Just ask," Hitomi said, not able to stop the corners of her mouth from twitching, and turned in his direction.  
  
He still didn't speak, eyes set on her and she listened the noises from around her; quiet conversations, spoons stirring in mugs of coffee and hitting the ceramic every now and then. "Why are you hiding your eyes?"  
  
She blinked and turned away. "I hide my eyes?"  
  
"You do," was the simple answer and she sighed.  
  
"I don't want people to feel uncomfortable when they look at me," the young woman answered, head slightly tilted to the side and a warm breeze playing with her short tresses. "I often don't look at the people I speak to."  
  
"You don't want people to notice that you're blind when they look at you," Van stated quietly, making her rise her blind gaze.  
  
"My eyes are blind and have no point to focus on," she continued. "They tend to dart around when I speak to someone or I simply look past the person I'm talking to for I can't see where they stand. It makes them feel uneasy and that's why I'm often wearing sunglasses for I don't like it when they don't know how to act around me."  
  
"Can I see your eyes?"  
  
Surprised, she hesitated briefly before she reached up with her hands and took off the sunglasses, sandy-blond strands tumbling over sparkling emeralds. It was the most intense green Van had ever seen, the reflections of the sunlight dancing across her irises like they would flicker over the surface of the sea, pale and delicate lashes framing them.  
  
"Say something so that I can look you in the eye," she ordered while placing the sunglasses on the table, waking him from the daze her eyes had pulled him in. They were captivating and he simply couldn't tear his gaze away.  
  
"They are green," he replied softly, his voice almost a whisper, and she smiled lightly.  
  
"Yeah, people told me so," she stated with a wink and groped for her sunglasses but a frown appeared on her features when she couldn't find them where she had put them.  
  
"I took them," Van grinned boyishly, twisting her fragile sunglasses between his tanned fingers. He already liked her frown. "Your eyes are beautiful and you shouldn't hide them. And right now, you're looking directly at me, no need to feel uncomfortable."  
  
"Thank you," she replied quietly and listened to his fingers drum on the table, her cheeks slightly flushed but not only because of the heat.  
  
"Does it mean anything to you when I tell you that your eyes are green, that my shirt is red?" he asked and she heard him shift again on his chair. "That the sky is blue?"  
  
"Yes, it does," she answered firmly. "I know it is hard for you to imagine that there are no colours but I replace them with other impressions. I connect every colour with a certain feeling or emotion or even scent. Take green. It's a fresh colour, I can smell warm and wet lawn when I think of it and I imagine to stand in a forest with all these different noises around me."  
  
"What about red?" Van questioned with narrowed eyes and she grinned.  
  
"It's a cliché but I do connect love with the colour," Hitomi responded truthfully and nodded lightly, sipping on her water. "Mixed emotions, inconsistent emotions. Fire and heat."  
  
Van was just about to reply when she spoke again. "Let me show you how it works," the green-eyed woman suggested and pointed upwards. "Look into the sky and tell me what you feel."  
  
The black-haired man looked at her with an unreadable expression on his face but obeyed and leaned against the backrest of his chair, tilting his head backwards and linking his arms behind it. Warm sunlight, that twinkled through the foliage of the tree beside them, caressed his handsome features and warmed his tanned skin, unruly strands swaying lazily in a soft breeze.  
  
An endless expanse of blue was spanned above him, sprinkled with feathery dots of a blinding white, the wind obviously enjoying to chase the clouds across the sky.  
  
"It makes me relax when I look into the sky," he began with a smile and exhaled deeply. "I feel free. I feel the urge to just spread my wings and fly. I want to feel the wind on my face and want to know how clouds feel under my fingers."  
  
"And this is how I see the sky," Hitomi whispered, not wanting to destroy this moment. "How I see the world without colours."  
  
"You've got a talent to make one understand, you know?!" Van said, still looking into the sky with a far off look on his face and unaware of the smile that tugged at her lips.  
  
"Yeah, people told me so," she replied quietly and listened to Tiara's calm breaths. The dog had fallen asleep on her lap. "What's the time, by the way?"  
  
Van raised his arm and glanced at the black digital watch at his wrist, not even bothering to straighten from his half-lying position in the wooden chair, long legs stretched out on the paved ground. "Half past five," he stated and looked at her out of the corners of his eyes, a dark red sparkling from behind pitch-black strands. "Do you have to leave?"  
  
Hitomi inhaled deeply and nodded. "I'm sure my mom is already waiting," she explained and shoved the Golden Retriever's head softly off of her lap, waking Tiara from her nap. The beige dog yawned and stretched her tired limps, shaking the sleep from her body and making the young man smile. "I was supposed to buy some things for supper."  
  
"Ah yes," Van nodded and grinned lazily, directing his gaze down to her bags which looked as if someone had played football with them and their contents. Some yoghurt was still adorning the sidewalk, giving it a special fruity touch. "As long as your mother doesn't mind bruised groceries, everything will be alright."  
  
"She won't," Hitomi replied, her eyes sparkling in amusement. "I've got a younger brother after all."  
  
"That would explain it," he countered with laughter in his voice and watched her smile.  
  
"Well then," she said, rising from her chair, and rummaged through her handbag, her dog circling her slim legs excitedly. Hitomi was fishing for her purse when a strong and gentle hand was suddenly placed on her smaller one. She stiffened instantly under the unfamiliar touch, his hand like a warm glove.  
  
"I said I would invite you," Van said close to her ear and she could hear the smile on his face. "I know you're a woman with both of her feet on solid ground, able to pay for herself. But please, allow me this little victory."  
  
Hitomi took a step away from him, slipping her hand out of his soft grasp. "Fine," she replied and groped for Tiara's leash. "Thank you for the water and for the conversation. I really enjoyed it."  
  
"You're welcome," he offered and she was quite sure that he bowed to her.  
  
Van waited patiently for her to pick up her bags and adjust them in her arms, her dog not of great help for she was pulling at the leash vigorously. Hitomi smiled briefly when he handed her the sunglasses and she slipped them into her handbag, making him grin.  
  
"Have a nice life, Van," the sandy-blonde said, her eyes sparkling in the intense light of that one Friday afternoon in early summer and with a brief nod, she turned around and walked away, Tiara's barking fading slowly in the distance.  
  
"See you soon, Hitomi Kanzaki," the raven-haired man promised and his unfathomable, rusty-coloured eyes watched her disappear among the innumerable people on the street, a tiny smile playing across his sunkissed lips.  
  
**#--#  
**  
_"Moons and years pass by but a beautiful  
moment glows throughout one's entire life."  
  
Franz Grillparzer  
_  
**A/N: That's the first part! What do you say?! I don't know exactly how long this is going to be but I hope I could stir up your interest. Hehe. And before I forget, I hope it's enough for the whole story when I put a disclaimer here: I don't own Escaflowne but we all already know that, so no surprise here sobs and I hope I didn't offend anyone who might know a blind person bows to the floor Thanks for listening and I'll see you around!!!  
  
Dariel**


	2. Blind tears

**Two. Blind tears  
#I would do everything to see it again#  
**  
It was so hot outside that you could fry eggs on the hood of every black car in the jammed streets, the asphalt bending under the weight of the machines. The sky was deep blue without a single cloud being brave enough to cover the sun. It was summer. Holiday time. This one wonderfully carefree time after highschool and before college. The world was waiting for you to explore it.  
  
But you could also sit on a soft, light-brown couch and watch tv; the sun which was blinking through the half-closed window shades blinding you but you're too lazy to move away, the one same spring which was pricking you everytime pricking your back again but you're too lazy to move away. It was summer. Holiday time. And she was bored.  
  
"Hitomiiii," a voice whined from behind the backrest of the couch in the living room of the Kanzaki's, making the beige dog who had been sleeping in the sun under the window sill crack open an eye and snort in annoyance.  
  
"What's the matter, Yukari?" came the reply from out of the kitchen, slightly muffled for Hitomi stuck with half of her body in their huge refrigerator, trying to fish for this stupid package of sausages her lively little brother had hidden in the most distant corner – once again.  
  
A head peaked from behind the backrest, shining red hair spilled over the smooth fabric of the couch and tired brown eyes glaring at the entrance to the kitchen with all the anger Yukari was able to muster in her state of half-sleep. "I'm bored, 'Tomi!" she mumbled against the armrest, her tall body slumped onto the softness of the couch, skirt and shirt crumpled. "Why don't we go somewhere? Why am I lying on your couch although I could lie on some strand of a tropical island?"  
  
"Because..." Hitomi replied and appeared in the doorway, one hand on her hip and the other one holding a package of sausages. "...you are a wonderful friend and renounced to book this trip to that amazingly beautiful and incredibly lonely island where half-naked guys with six packs would have served you all day long only to spend the time with me."  
  
Yukari groaned into the fabric of the couch, two guys fighting verbally in the talkshow behind her. "Just tell me how damn nice I am," she complained and tossed on the couch, facing the tv. "Massages, Hitomi! White sand and turquoise water! Palm trees and guys with six packs! Tell me that it was worth it to stay here!"  
  
Hitomi smiled, her blind eyes sparkling. "It was worth it to stay here."  
  
"Fine. Then, let's go somewhere!" Yukari insisted and switched the channels, a woman with curly brown hair and an apron around her waist explaining how to make an extraordinary salad with your own personal touch.  
  
"Not now, Yukari, and you know that," the blond-haired girl sighed and disappeared in the kitchen again. "Mom had left to meet her girls, dad is at work and Mamoru is still at home. I can't leave him alone here."  
  
"Did I hear my name?"  
  
"The little brat," the redhead stated flatly from her position on the couch, not even bothering to look up when Hitomi's younger brother descended the stairs, a backpack slung over his left shoulder and a broad grin plastered across his face. "You better leave me alone coz you're the reason why this is my status quo."  
  
"Now, why does that leave me cold?" Mamoru replied cheerfully when he reached the living room and patted Yukari's head, earning a grunt. "Sis, you should chain her up, she's dangerous."  
  
"Be careful what you say or else I'll bite you," the young woman growled and Mamoru jerked his hand back when he saw the look on her face.  
  
"See!" the brown-haired boy complained on his way to the kitchen and a sheepish expression crept over his young features when he saw the sausages lying on the wooden table. "Oh sorry, 'Tomi," he apologized while scratching the back of his head. "I forgot to put them where they belong...did you search long?"  
  
The green-eyed woman looked up from the sink where she was washing the dishes from breakfast, holding a white plate in her hand. "No, it's okay," she smiled at her brother and continued to wash the plate. "Are you leaving?"  
  
"Yeah," Mamoru replied and grinned, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his faded jeans. "Kaoru invited me to sleep over. He planned to have a lan- party, today. And don't give me that look...mom and dad know, don't worry."  
  
The suspicious expression was still on Hitomi's face when her brother walked to her side and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "Bye, sis," he said with a smile and left for the backdoor. "See you, tomorrow."  
  
"Have fun!" Hitomi called after him when she heard him cross the garden. "But not too much, okay?!"  
  
His reply made her smile and she turned back to devote herself to the dirty dishes again, the lemon scent of the dish-water filling her nostrils. It was quiet in the house again, the splashing of water and the breathing of someone who stood in the doorframe the only noise.  
  
"Can we go somewhere, now?!" Yukari asked impatiently and leaned against the firm wood of the doorframe, her brown eyes focused on her friend. The redhead looked like someone who had lain the whole morning on the couch, watching tv, and it wasn't surprising for she hadn't done anything but that.  
  
"Let me finish this and then, we can decide what to do, okay?" Hitomi replied without looking up and Yukari snorted.  
  
"Fine, but I decide what we do," she grunted and rubbed her calf with one foot, arms crossed in front of her chest. "What about we go to the travel agency and book that trip? It's not too late! We can still --"  
  
Tiara's bark interupted her and a second later, the doorbell rang. The beige dog rose from her position on the ground and trotted along towards the door, yawning sleepily but wagging her tail happily at the same time.  
  
"Oh god, please, let it be a hot stripper with the wrong address so that, at least, I can have some fun!" Yukari exclaimed desperatedly and turned to join Tiara at the door, her bare feet causing tapping noises on the polished parquet. She had made the mistake to leave her shoes at the door without supervising them. Tiara was addicted to shoes and had probably added them already to her collection of trophies.  
  
"Good girl," the red-haired woman said, shoving the over-excited dog away from the door and opened it.  
  
Well, Yukari hadn't been really awake for the last days. She had been eking out her existance with lying on the couch and watching tv or playing video games with Mamoru – and lose against him, that is. Nothing to motivate her to leave her state of half-sleep. But when her eyes came to rest on the young man who was standing outside the door, she was as awake as one could be after three mugs of pitch-black and unsugared coffee.  
  
With eyes as wide as saucers and her mouth half-open, she looked the raven- haired stranger up and down, faded jeans hugging his hip pretty low and a sleeveless, white shirt showing off tanned and muscular arms that shamelessly dared to imagine what was underneath the loose fabric. And if that wasn't already enough, a smile lingered on his sculptured lips that could have outshone sun if he had just wanted it to.  
  
With a groan, Yukari raised her gaze skywards. "Oh please, can I also have my own car and a swimming pool filled to the brim with money?" she begged and the friendly smile on the young man's face turned into a confused frown.  
  
"Umm, excuse me," he began smoothly, running a hand through his unruly hair and Yukari turned her head back down to look at him, his mesmerizing auburn eyes squinted against the sunlight. "My name is Van Fanel. Does Kanzaki Hitomi live here?"  
  
Her eyes narrowed suspiciously and she instinctively blocked the door. "Why?" Yukari asked and Tiara barked behind her while trying to work her way through the redhead's legs, the young man's deep voice motivating her.  
  
"So, she does live here?" Van replied with hope in his words and his dark brows rose in anticipation, auburn eyes focused on the muzzle of the dog who was desperately trying to pass Yukari's legs. "Is that her dog?"  
  
"I didn't say she lived here," the redhead stated and crossed her arms in front of her chest, putting on an expression she probably thought looked dangerous.  
  
"But you also didn't say that she wasn't living here," Van countered with a rakish smirk and tried to peak past her shoulders into the dim room behind her. "Hitomi, are you there?"  
  
"And you're sure you want to speak with Hitomi and not with Yukari, by pure chance?" the girl in the doorway asked and Van grinned, taking a provoking step towards her. He was quite tall and if she made an effort, her eyes could come in level with his chin. How motivating.  
  
"I'm sure," he replied determinedly and looked over her shoulder again or better to say, over her head, making Yukari stick out her chin and his fresh scent filled her nostrils. He called Hitomi again.  
  
"Good. Assuming that she lived here, what would you want from her," Yukari continued, her eyes now sparkling vividly while she still tried to silence the dog with her foot. But somehow Tiara grew to see it as a game; catch the wilful heel. "I can't just let you – ouch!"  
  
We've got a winner. Loudly barking, Tiara ran past Yukari's raised foot towards Van while the redhead was rubbing her ankle, glaring at the Golden Retriever.  
  
"Biting isn't fair, Tiara," Yukari growled and watched Van gracefully kneel down to pat the dog.  
  
"Hey, do you remember me?" the auburn-eyed man asked, sparkling black strands of unruly hair tumbling into his view when he leaned down. He dug his tanned fingers into the soft fur of the dog and tried to dodge her attempts of licking his face.  
  
"Van, is that you?" a soft voice suddenly asked from the doorway, making Yukari jerk in shock and Van look up.  
  
"Gods, 'Tomi, don't creep..." the redhead trailed off, still clutching her shirt, and her gaze darted from the bewildered expression on Hitomi's face to the warm smile which was occupying Van's handsome features.  
  
"The one and only," he answered Hitomi's question with a lop-sided grin and slowly rose to his feet again, his unfathomable eyes set steadfastly on the sandy-blonde.  
  
"What are you doing here?" she exclaimed and shook her head. "And...I mean, how did you find me? I didn't tell you anything about where I lived."  
  
"You know him?" Yukari asked, surprised, and stared wide-eyed at Van.  
  
"Well, this is a quite long story," Van replied and scratched the back of his head, a sheepish expression on his face. "It contains some phone calls across the city, meeting new people here and there, scaring old ladies with assaulting their doors...did you know how many Kanzakis live in this city?"  
  
"You visited them all?" Hitomi questioned in disbelief, brows raised sceptically.  
  
"Well, only those who had been necessary until I finally found you," Van answered with a shrug and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his pants, a light breeze dishevelling his hair. "You didn't make it easy for me, you know?"  
  
"Hello?" Yukari cried, interupting him and jumped between her best friend and her best friend's friend whom she didn't know, waving her arms about. "I'm still alive, remember? Would someone, please, tell me what this is all about? Why do you know him and me not, huh?"  
  
"Some days ago, I bumped into Van and he bought a water for me to make up for standing in my way," Hitomi replied, her green eyes resting on the spot where Van's voice had come from. "We talked a bit, that's all."  
  
"When did that happen?" Yukari asked incredulously, her eyes narrowed to little slits.  
  
"Four days ago," Van said and patted Tiara's head who sat at his feet, looking expectingly up at him with huge brown eyes.  
  
"What? You needed four days to find her?" the red-haired woman replied mockingly, glancing at Van and he shrugged with a grin.  
  
"Almost, yeah."  
  
"Four days and you didn't tell me?" she then whirled around and addressed the sandy-blonde beside her who had an unreadable expression on her face, throwing her hands above her head when Hitomi shrugged, too. "Argh, Hitomi, you don't know to esteem your damn luck! Why do things like these never happen to me?"  
  
"Maybe because you're not blind and would have avoided running into me?" the young man offered and Yukari turned towards him, a smirk adorning her features. It made him wait for the vampire teeth to grow.  
  
"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Yukari replied and looked directly into his reddish-brown eyes, a dangerous sparkle in her own brown ones that made her look like a lioness which was watching its prey. She grinned inwardly about the blush she had created on his cheeks.  
  
"Why are you here, Van?" Hitomi asked slowly and Van cleared his throat before he spoke.  
  
"Well, actually, I planned to kidnap you," he answered casually and a deep chuckle escaped his lips when he saw the dumbfounded expressions on both of their faces. "I want to show you something."  
  
"W-what...? But..." Hitomi stuttered and her eyes flickered nervously around but he interupted her quickly.  
  
"Please, it's only for a few hours," he explained and Yukari noticed the desperate glow in his eyes, a flame shortly before being extinguished. "I'll take you there and I'll take you home again. My car is waiting down there at the street. You can even take your watchdog with you."  
  
"Hey, and what about me?" Yukari complained immediately, rewarding Van with an angry glare.  
  
"I meant you," he replied with a soft smile and turned towards Hitomi again. "You'll like it. Please, trust me."  
  
"I...I don't know," she said quietly and directed her gaze to the ground but Yukari grabbed her arm and uncompromisingly dragged her into the house.  
  
"You never know, Hitomi," she stated matter-of-factly and motioned for Van to follow her; what he did, his eyes wandering curiously around when he entered. "I wanted to shove your lazy butt out of the house and this is the perfect opportunity. Do we need any things, Van?"  
  
"But Yukari!" Hitomi hissed and wrestled her arm out of her friend's grip. "We can't just go with him! He could do gods-know-what to us! Maybe he's some kind of axe-murderer or something!"  
  
The brown-eyed woman put her hands on her hips and glanced at Van who stood in the corridor like a lost boy with his hands still in the pockets of his pants, before raising a delicate eyebrow at her friend. "I highly doubt that," she replied airily. "He's too cute."  
  
"Yukari!"  
  
"What's your point, 'Tomi?" she questioned, frowning deeply.  
  
"My point?" Hitomi echoed, blinking. "We don't know him!"  
  
"I don't know him, that's correct but it's your own fault, may I remind you. And even if. You didn't know me either and now, I'm your best friend," the redhead shrugged and nodded towards Van who was inspecting the family photos at the wall. "When he dares to make any move towards you, I'll beat him. You heard that, Van?"  
  
"Distinctly," he replied casually without turning away from the wall and Yukari smiled triumphatically.  
  
"See?" she addressed Hitomi and pushed her down onto the couch, earning a growl. "You wait here and I'll pack a few things. Some fresh air will do you good, believe me. Plus you said I could decide where to go and I decide to go with him."  
  
Hitomi nodded reluctantly. As if there was anything she could do! It was Yukari, after all. There was nothing that could stop her once the redhead had made a decision. And if she had decided to drag Hitomi out of the house to let a stranger bring her somewhere, so be it. With a sigh, she leaned against the backrest of the couch and listened to the noises Yukari and Van were causing upstairs. And she hadn't even finished washing the dishes.  
  
Hitomi remained sitting on the couch until she heard Yukari's bubbly voice from the stairs and seconds later, was dragged out of the house.  
  
"What did you pack?" the green-eyed woman asked when Yukari turned to lock the door, leaving her at Van's car. "And where exactly are we going to go?"  
  
"That's a surprise," Van's deep voice whispered in her ear, sending a shiver down her spine. She stiffened by feeling him close beside her, his breathing calm.  
  
"Yeah, 'Tomi, don't be so curious. Relax and enjoy the trip," Yukari called from behind, chasing Tiara to the car. Her shoulder-long hair sparkled intensely in the sunlight, different shades of red dancing over her head. "You take the passenger seat and I'll share the backseat with this over- excited fur ball here."  
  
"Do you have my stick?" Hitomi asked, turning into the direction where she heard Yukari climb into the car, followed by a barking Tiara.  
  
"Yeah, don't worry and I even wrote a note for your parents! Now, come! Everyone is waiting for you!" the redhead replied impatiently and slammed the door shut, muffling Tiara's barking.  
  
The sandy-blonde sighed and stretched out her hands, groping across the warm metal of the car for the door. She felt a jerk go through it when Van started the engine, a deep humming surrounding her. She couldn't deny that she was curious. Well, it didn't happen that often that someone whom she had met only one time visited her and announced that he would take her somewhere.  
  
Hearing Yukari's impatient complaints from inside, she shook her head with a smile and climbed into the car as well.  
  
#--#  
  
"She does need a bit more practise in protecting you," Van stated simply with a smile on his lips and glanced into the rear mirror, his hands resting calmly on the steering wheel.  
  
Yukari was leaning against the backrest, head tilted backwards and mouth wide open, deep snors escaping the dark depths of her throat. She had fallen asleep ten minutes ago, after she had finished her questioning with Van. The beige guide-dog sat beside her, looking out of the window with curious eyes.  
  
"Yeah, but she is always falling asleep in cars," Hitomi shrugged and turned towards the young man beside her, blind green eyes directed to the ground. "I think she'll never get her driving license."  
  
A deep chuckle left Van's throat and he glanced at the green-eyed woman beside him, sandy-blond strands spilled over the backrest of her seat.  
  
"Now that I know that you won't tell me our destination, could you, at least, tell me the direction?" she asked and exhaled deeply, making Van smile. "I don't like to be totally clueless."  
  
"South," he answered and she heard him ran a hand through his hair. He had done that quite often since the beginning of their journey. "We're heading southwards."  
  
"Thank you. And could you, please, turn the radio on?" she asked quietly into the silence after his reply and leaned against the back of her seat with a sigh.  
  
"Of course," Van replied and stretched out his arm, watching her out of the corner of his eye.  
  
_You know they say  
In every man's life, there comes a time  
When you get struck by the arrow of Cupid,  
By the love of God or the beauty of a woman  
Sometimes, this love brings thunder into your life  
And it brings the storm, sing about it  
_  
Quiet music floated out of the loudspeaker, almost drowned by Yukari's irregular snoring. Hitomi closed her eyes and enjoyed the warmth of the sun which was penetrating the windows and caressed her features. She heard the comforting roaring of the engine and folded her hands in her lap. Her hair sparkled in the sunlight, breaking it like a prism and her features were calm and relaxed. She felt his eyes on her but pretended not to notice, not knowing what to think of the young man who had suddenly burst into her life without any warning.  
  
Okay, she knew that he was two years older than her, making him twenty-one, and that he studied psychology at Fanelia's most renowned university where he shared his dorm with an albino who was slightly addicted to fire, thanks to Yukari's curiosity. He wanted to major in psychology of the adolescent later and during his summer break, he was working as a temporary cook in a restaurant, just a little down the street from the café where she had bumped into him. He had been on his way home as well as she had been.  
  
After their parting at that café, she had thought she would never see him again. They had had a nice conversation but nothing more. There was no such thing like love at first sight for her. What an irony. She simply couldn't understand why he was doing that. But then again, she wasn't sure if she wanted to know at all. Everything she knew was that she would be careful.  
  
A light tap on the shoulder startled her out of her thoughts and her head snapped up in alarm, unfamiliar sounds and scents surrounding her.  
  
"What? Where...?" Hitomi stuttered but relaxed when she heard a deep chuckle, followed by Yukari's excited voice and Tiara's barking. "Did we already arrive? How...?"  
  
"Well, yeah, we arrived," Van replied with a smile, leaning on the opened passenger door and a light breeze ruffling through his pitch-black hair. "You slept for the last one and a half hours, just to inform you."  
  
"Yeah, sleepyhead," Yukari interfered before Hitomi could say something, leaning on Van's shoulder. "You slept like a rock. You can be glad that I was there to protect you! Oh, what would you do without me?"  
  
Hitomi snorted and climbed out of the car, joining Van and Yukari in the parking lot. She decided to simply ignore the last question. The sun was still burning down on her but the wind was slightly cooler, a strange scent hovering in the air above those of hot asphalt and exhaust fumes and the one of the intense flowers right beside her. She could hear the noises of the street which was winding its way past them and a roaring sound in the background.  
  
"Where are we?" she asked and turned her head, trying to catch all the impressions around her. "Are those...waves?"  
  
"Nah, Hitomi, stop trying to analyze everything!" Yukari replied cheerfully and slipped Tiara's leash into her hand. "Come on, come on!"  
  
The redhead took their bags from Van and ran towards the huge glass doors which led into the air-conditioned inside of the building complex in front of which Van had parked the car. Hitomi let Tiara lead her to where Yukari was waiting, feeling Van join her side. He had his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans and an unfathomable smile lay on his lips, auburn eyes dancing with something not even Yukari could name.  
  
The doors slid quietly open when they reached them and they entered a noisy room. Hitomi could hear children laugh in the distance and somewhere beside her, a computer was humming quietly.  
  
"Wait here," Van said and pointed at some chairs in a corner, different magazines scattered across the table between them. "I'll go and --"  
  
"Van!" a feminine voice interupted him and the three of them turned around, Hitomi's eyes directed to the ground but her ears pricked attentively.  
  
"Hey, Merle!" Van replied and grinned, walking over to the young woman who had just appeared from out of a hallway around the corner. "Long time no see!"  
  
"Yukari?" Hitomi whispered, turning her head towards her friend and trying to calm an excited Tiara.  
  
"Around our age," the redhead stated expertly, looking Merle up and down. "Maybe a year younger. A bit smaller than you, pink hair and enviably tanned. Gods, how can anyone be that tanned? She's quite pretty if I can say so but I would say that dress is a bit too short. Oh, he seems to know her...they're hugging. Well, it's more like she's hugging him but yeah, a potential rival if you ask me."  
  
"What? No, Yuk --" Hitomi was about to contradict but her friend silenced her quickly.  
  
"Shhh, they're approaching," she hissed. "Man, she walks like a cat! You really have to--"  
  
The redhead bit her lip when Hitomi poked her in the ribs. Though the woman was blind, she had an aim which was simply incredible. But it was probably because she was poking Yukari continuously. With the time, she had learned where to poke so that it hurt.  
  
"Ladies," Van exclaimed when he approached, Merle smiling brightly at his side. "I want you to meet Merle."  
  
"You must be Hitomi!" the pink-haired girl said and without hesitating, grabbed Hitomi's hand and shook it, her dark-blue eyes dancing. "Van told me quite something about you when he called me, yesterday."  
  
"He did?" Hitomi asked suspiciously and turned her head to where she supposed that the young man stood, slightly fearing that Merle would shake her arm off.  
  
"He did?" Yukari echoed and looked directly at him, delicate brows raised in surprise but Van just shrugged with a sheepish smile.  
  
"Yeah, but we can speak about that later," Merle said and finally released Hitomi's arm. "Let's go now, I'm sure you finally want to know what this is all about. I'll lead you to the cabins where you can change."  
  
"Change?!" Hitomi asked in confusion, her eyes darting around. "Why? I mean...we didn't know..."  
  
Merle scratched her head with a frown on her face when Hitomi trailed off, pink hair sparkling in the sunlight which penetrated the huge windows behind her. "But I thought Van told you...?"  
  
"He did," Yukari interfered and winked at Merle. "I've got everything in these bags."  
  
The sandy-blonde turned towards her friend, gaze directed to the ground. "Why do I have the feeling that I'm the only clueless one around here?"  
  
"Because you are," the red head stated simply and grabbed her arm.  
  
Hitomi felt Merle's slim hand wrap around her other arm and together, the two girls led her down the hallway. Tiara was strolling in front of her, inspecting everything around her with curious eyes, dragging Hitomi along.  
  
"I want to thank you, Hitomi," Merle said quietly when Van was out of ear- shot, a warm smile on her lips and Hitomi frowned deeply. "I don't know what you did to him but it did have an effect on him. I haven't seen him smile like that for a long time."  
  
"And you know that because...?" Yukari asked suspiciously, eyeing the tanned girl in the orange summer dress warily out of the corners of her eyes.  
  
"I'm his ex-girlfriend," Merle finished with a feline grin and led them around another corner, different voices filling the air.  
  
Yukari's mouth opened in surprise. "Really?" she replied, not able to hide her not existing sympathy and the sparkle in her eyes.  
  
"Yep," the pink-haired girl nodded. "I've been knowing him for quite some years and I had a crush on him for that same time but just last summer I had had the guts to tell him. We were together for only one and a half months when we broke up. Luckily, it wasn't in dispute and we can still look each other in the eye."  
  
"Why did you break up?" Yukari asked bluntly, earning a poke from Hitomi. Training, that's all.  
  
Merle was quiet for a brief moment, a far-off look on her features. "Because of his past and my inability for dealing with it," she answered with a sad smile and pointed at some doors to their right. "You can change there. I'll wait outside with Van. Just come when you're ready." She pointed at the glass doors at the end of the hallway.  
  
"Wait! What do you mean?" Yukari asked when Merle was about to leave.  
  
"You better ask him yourself," she replied and turned away, walking down the hallway. "And I beg you to be patient with him, Hitomi."  
  
The green-eyed girl's head snapped around and she was just about to say something when Yukari shoved her to the cabins. "Hey, Yukari!" she complained and the red head opened the door. "What did she mean?"  
  
"You'll have to find out," Yukari replied and smiled warmly, taking Tiara's leash from her friend and handing her the stick and something that felt like fabric. "Small room. Two meters to the wall across, probably fifty centimeters to the walls to your left and right. A stool in the far left corner. Hurry up, I'll wait here with Tiara."  
  
"But that's my bikini!" Hitomi exclaimed and waved the green pieces of fabric around.  
  
"Of course," Yukari shrugged and shoved her friend into the cabin, closing the door behind her.  
  
She heard the muffled reply that couldn't be anything but an insult and leaned against the wall beside the door with a grin on her face, her brown eyes closed.  
  
Hitomi had never had any luck with guys and thus had unfortunately learned that building insurmountable walls around herself would keep her from being hurt – but had forgotten that it also kept her from being loved. All she needed was someone to show her something worth the bad experience she had gone through; something worth the disappointment, something worth the anger, something worth the tears.  
  
And if she wasn't completely mistaken, she would say that the mysterious young man was on the best way to do so. She didn't know him. She had only spent a few hours with him (where she had been asleep most of the time) and she couldn't say if it was Hitomi's almost shy behavior around him but something told her that he could break into the castle the woman had built. After all, Hitomi couldn't stay in there forever when he decided to lay siege to it. She just prayed that he had got the patience to wait for her outside in the rain.  
  
Yukari cracked open an eye when she heard rumble from out of the cabin, a grunting Hitomi exiting the small room.  
  
"What have you been doing?" she asked and the red-haired girl took hold of her arm, strolling along her side while Hitomi was groping for the way with her stick.  
  
"Nothing," Yukari chirped and released Tiara from her leash, the dog however staying at Hitomi's feet. "I was just thinking a bit."  
  
"It cannot have been something good for I can hear that dirty grin on your face," the green-eyed woman stated and Yukari grinned only wider, remaining silent. She felt like whistling a song to herself.  
  
Hitomi just shook her head and allowed Yukari to lead the way. Honestly, she didn't want to know at all. Everything seemed like some crazy dream and she just wanted to get over with it, wanted to wake up. When they passed the door, Yukari's grip tightened around Hitomi's arm and the sandy-blonde could almost feel her friend's excitement seep into her like electricity.  
  
"You know he's cute, don't you?" the redhead suddenly asked in a whisper and Hitomi's heart skipped a beat.  
  
"What?" she replied, her voice slightly shaking.  
  
"Don't you?"  
  
Hitomi's stick hit a little step and she passed it without even noticing. "Yukari, I'm blind, remember?" she answered, not able to hide and even worse, not able to explain the blush from spreading across her cheeks. "I can't see him."  
  
"Well, you can be glad that you're blind for you wouldn't be able to think straight right now," Yukari stated and Hitomi could hear her grin from ear to ear. "He's wearing swim trunks and swim trunks only. To say it carefully, the guy is hot."  
  
"Yukari!" Hitomi hissed, her cheeks getting warmer with every word.  
  
"I didn't know what he was hiding under his shirt," Yukari continued, ignoring Hitomi's pokes. "At least, I get the six pack I deserve. You're a lucky one, you know that? Just be careful not to burn your fingers...watch out, we're almost there."  
  
"Yukari!"  
  
"Hey, you ready?" Van asked when they reached his side, interupting his conversation with Merle, not able to tear his gaze away from Hitomi.  
  
"Of course," Yukari replied with a smirk and scrutinized him bluntly, his tanned skin shimmering in the sun like bronze and his trained body radiating controlled and restrained power. "Nice abs, Van."  
  
Hitomi's cheeks were on fire and not for the first time in Yukari's presence she wished for the earth to swallow her with lock, stock and barrel. She heard the redhead and Merle chuckle beside her but couldn't see that Van's face wasn't a single bit less red than her's.  
  
"What about we leave those two giggle girls here alone and I'll show you why I brought you here?" Van whispered in her ear and she nodded mutely, gaze fixed on the ground.  
  
She was just about to take a step ahead, guided by her stick, when Van grabbed her wrist and started to drag her down the hill. His grip was warm and gentle and she was so surprised that she let go of her stick and it landed noisily on the ground.  
  
"Van, no!" she shouted desperately, stumbling behind him and trying to wrest her arm out of his grasp but he was a little bit stronger than Yukari. "I can't see where I'm going!"  
  
He stopped and she ran straight into his broad back, gasping in shock. When he let go of her hand, she inhaled deeply and took a step away from him. She was just about to turn around and head back to pick up her stick when she was sweeped off the ground and into strong arms, a yelp escaping her lips and his warmth everywhere around her. Hitomi struggled in his arms but Van just chuckled, tightening the grip around her.  
  
"No, Van, let me go, please," Hitomi insisted, feeling slightly uncomfortable in this situation but threw her arms instinctively around his neck when he started to run.  
  
"This is faster," he replied and smiled down at her.  
  
Hitomi took a deep breath, trying to calm down. She didn't like being so helpless. She hadn't liked to follow him here with the possibility of him being an axe-murderer or something and she didn't like him carrying her to gods-know-where. She actually wasn't the one to run into her decline like some head-less chicken!  
  
"Can you swim?" he asked, startling her out of her thoughts.  
  
"What?" she squeaked in disbelief and turned her head to listen to what was coming ahead. "Why? Yeah..."  
  
Unfortunately, she couldn't see the mischievous grin on his lips.  
  
"Van!" she shrieked and nearly jumped out of his arms, when water was suddenly splashing all around her. Cold water.  
  
The young man ran straight into the the water of the little bay, Hitomi clinging to his neck. He was soaked within seconds and slowed down when it became deeper. Wading slowly, he just stopped when the water reached to his hip and with a swift motion, he placed the woman in his arms on the ground. Van grinned by meeting her gaze, angry green eyes flashing at him.  
  
"I want you to meet someone," he whispered. "Stretch out your hands."  
  
Hitomi frowned but obeyed, slowly stretching out her hands. Cold water was surrounding her legs, reaching a bit over her hip, goose bumps covering her skin. She could hear the waves sweeping the shore and Van breathing calmly beside her - and something approaching. Her heart skipped a beat when she felt that something was coming in her direction and she inched backwards.  
  
"Don't be afraid," Van said quietly and close to her ear and she nodded, waiting in anticipation.  
  
It was when something touched her fingertips; something wet and soft touching her shyly as if to test how she would react. Her hands jerked back and she stifled the gasp by clasping them over her mouth, blind eyes wide and heart bumping furiously. She knew what had touched her but she couldn't believe it.  
  
"Hitomi, I want you to meet Dana," Van whispered softly in her ear and took her hands in his larger ones, gently prying them from her mouth.  
  
He stood directly behind her, her back pressed lightly against his chest and she could feel the warmth radiating from him. His head rested on her shoulder while his hair was tenderly tickling her neck, and he led her hands slowly to the dolphin who was patiently waiting in front of her.  
  
Her hands roamed over the wet and smooth skin of the dolphin, life ever so present underneath it. She took in all the outlines from the pointed mouth and ever-lasting smile to the fluke, absorbing everything up to the salty scent which surrounded them and created an image in her mind. By that time, tears were silently running down her cheeks and she pressed her lips to a thin line to stop them from quivering while slow waves were gently splashing against her hip.  
  
It had been one of her most cherished wishs since she was a little kid. Her grandmother had always told her stories about dolphins and over the years, Hitomi had grown to link both of them. All those memories were coming back then, when she was standing in a calm bay with turquoise water tenderly swepping a white shore.  
  
Hitomi smiled despite herself when a wet nose cockily nudged her arm, indicating that a second dolphin had joined them, her eyes glistening with tears. She remembered her grandmother telling her that she wished to be a dolphin in her next life to be able to experience life in another way and it was as if the old woman was standing right beside her, her wrinkles even deeper when she smiled.  
  
"I'll leave you with the both of them now," Van whispered into her ear and she nodded mutely, not trusting her own voice.  
  
He withdrew his hands and she felt his warmth disappear from her back when he retreated. Water splashed around his form when he walked back to the shore, a warm smile adorning his features. The young man turned around and seeing her there with this beautiful smile on her lips and her blind eyes dancing with life, he knew exactly why he had done it.  
  
#--#  
  
When the sun was setting that evening, Van was lying on the gangplank that reached far into the bay, wooden boards covered with algae and seashells. His legs dangled lazily over the edge of the gangplank and a cool breeze rustled through his raven-black hair and light clothing while he was watching the sky with his arms linked behind his head.  
  
It looked as if someone had thrown over some pots of red, yellow and blue paint, soaking the velvety canvas of the evening sky with innumerable colours. Some stars already blinked where a dark violet merged into deep blue, orange-tinted clouds crowning the horizon like tufts of cotton.  
  
Van closed his sparkling auburn eyes that seemed to compete with the red in the sky, and let the wind play with his hair, unruly strands swaying softly. He had been watching her the whole time, had watched her laugh, had watched her cry and he couldn't recall anything that had made him feel so incredibly at peace. It made him believe that as long as she smiled the world could crumble around him and he just wouldn't care.  
  
He didn't know how she did it. He simply couldn't explain it. Never before had someone stepped so easily into his life and so brashly into his heart. She must've caught him when his heart had organized a 'day of the open door'. She had somehow burned her image, her bright smile, her lilac-like scent into his mind so that she would be ever present – and she was. He hadn't been able to forget her. She was too different from anybody else he had met up to that day and he had ached to see her again.  
  
She was like cinnamon ice-cream – once you tried it, you'd be addicted for the rest of your life.  
  
The soft evening breeze carried faint laughter out across the bay that mixed with the loud prattling of the dolphins. A small smile curved on his sensual lips when the quiet tock tock of a stick tapping on wooden boards reached him, indicating that a certain someone was approaching. His smile grew when the stick tapped him on the arm only to be immediately pulled away. Van knew that he was lying in her way but he didn't bother to move.  
  
"Van...?" Hitomi asked carefully and fumbled with the stick in her hand.  
  
"Hmm," he replied with his eyes still closed and the grin still lingering on his features.  
  
"You could have moved out of the way, you know," the honey-blonde grumbled, her delicate brows knitted in slight annoyance. "Yukari told me you were here...why didn't you join us again?"  
  
The young man was silent for a few seconds and opened his eyes before he spoke, a dark red reflecting the dying light of the setting sun. "That moment seemed precious for you," he stated quietly and looked up into the sky. "I didn't want to disturb it."  
  
"Yes, it truly was precious," the green-eyed woman replied in a whisper and with a smile, slowly and carefully attempting to sit down beside him.  
  
Van glanced at her out of the corners of his eyes, watching her put her bare feet into the water with a sigh. Finally, he sat up in a fluent and graceful motion and rested his elbows on his knees, eyes focused on the horizon.  
  
"You happy then?" he asked and cocked his head to the side when facing her profile, strands of raven-black hair dancing into his view.  
  
"Do you even have to ask?" she countered and it was as if the sun rose when she smiled.  
  
"Well, actually, I need the acknowledgement for my poor, little ego," Van drawled and chuckled when Hitomi nudged his arm hard. Her aim was amazing, thanks to Yukari. "Any other wish you want to have fulfilled? I'm only warming up."  
  
"Oh, if you're asking like that, there truly is something else," the young woman began, tapping her index finger against her cheek. "I want to touch a rainbow."  
  
She could practically hear his eyebrows shoot up in surprise and couldn't stop herself from laughing out loud, the pure and clear sound echoing into the almost dark sky.  
  
"Er...Hitomi, you do know that--" Van started to ask with a worried expression on his face but she interupted him with a wave of her hand.  
  
"Yes, Van," she said, still smiling brightly. "Yes, I know that I can't touch a rainbow but when I was a kid I nearly drove my mom insane when she tried to explain to me what a rainbow was and I just kept asking if I could at last touch that rainbow. I always wanted to know what a rainbow feels like."  
  
The wind increased, tearing at their clothing and Hitomi shivered involuntarily. "It's getting late," the auburn-eyed man stated and attempted to rise from his sitting position. "We should head back home, what do you say?"  
  
She nodded and rose as well, her movements a little bit clumsy. She heard the boards squeak when Van turned to walk to the shore and after hesitating briefly, she quickly called out his name. "Van, wait!"  
  
He turned back around to look at her, one brow raised questioningly. Hitomi took a few careful steps ahead and smiled hesitantly, the breeze dishevelling her sandy-brown tresses. "Why did you do it?" she questioned and looked up into his eyes as if she could see him.  
  
Van watched the last reflections of sunlight dance across her emerald irises and smiled warmly. "A good question indeed," he replied with a crooked grin, his eyes resting on her soft features. "When you spoke so fondly of that wish of yours, I wanted nothing more but fulfil it. And maybe I just wanted to see you smile."  
  
An amused glint entered his eyes when she didn't reply and he leaned a bit down. "Anything else you want to know?"  
  
Hitomi jerked lightly. "I actually came here to thank you," she offered quietly, hesitantly. "And well..."  
  
Trailing off, she slowly stretched out her hand and rested it on his shoulder, making his eyes widen. He didn't move nor even breathe when she silently groped along his neck only to suddenly lean in and hug him. The young woman caught him totally off guard and a red hue stole its way to his cheeks, his mouth slightly agape.  
  
"Thank you," she whispered into his ear, waking him from his daze.  
  
"You're welcome," he replied just as quietly and returned the embrace, holding her petite frame tightly against his body. She was warm and he could still smell a slight trace of salt in her hair.  
  
"What you did means a lot to me," Hitomi continued when she pulled away, his hands still resting on her waist to support her – and keep her close. He didn't want her to leave. Not yet. "And I...I just don't know how I can ever make it up to you."  
  
"Well, as much as I would like to say that I did it out of unselfish reasons," Van stated and grinned lop-sidedly down at her. "But there is something you could do."  
  
"Really?" she asked, her brows rising in surprise. "What?"  
  
"Let me see you again."  
  
Hitomi quickly turned away and bit her lip. She would have done everything to make it up to him; everything but that. "Please, Hitomi," he begged. "Just one--"  
  
"No, Van," she interupted him quietly, shaking her head in determination and slowly releasing the embrace around his neck, sliding with her hands down is muscular arms. "Look, I can't do this. It isn't right. I can't...What is that?"  
  
She was resting her hands on his bare forearms, running with her fingers over his warm skin, brows knitted. "Nothing but my forearms," he replied and pryed her curious hands off of his arms. "Don't change the topic."  
  
"I was not!" Hitomi complained vividly and wound her hands out of his firm grasp in order to cross her arms in front of her chest. "I was just...I...you don't even know me."  
  
Van threw his head back and gave a laugh, making her head snap up. "Now this is strange," he replied with a cocky grin and she scowled at the sarcasm in his voice. "Then let me get to know you, Hitomi! You know, this is actually the sense in a date."  
  
"Van, I don't know..." she whispered and stared at the gangplank again, waves swepping softly against its wooden legs.  
  
"Just one date," the young man begged again. "I won't bite and I promise if you think that I'm a jerk afterwards, so be it, I'll leave you alone. The decision is your's; say yes and you'll have to bear me for one evening, say no and you'll have to bear me for your remaining life."  
  
She cocked an eyebrow at him. "What a choice."  
  
"But a choice after all," he countered with a shrug and the sandy-blonde was quiet again. That wasn't like her. She wasn't standing on a gangplank with a damn sunset in the background, debating with a guy about a date! She could get rid of any man! Any man but him, she'd learned.  
  
She'd never been in a situation like this. Nothing that had ever happened to her had been the slightest bit similar to this. She couldn't just say yes. Without a warning and without any effort, he had burst through the door of her life which she had barricaded with three locks, a board and a closet. It had taken her years and disappointment to do so and he was just about to take a seat on her couch with the blunt and pushing impertinence of a salesman. Saying yes was like offering him something to drink!  
  
"Please," he breathed and she sighed. One evening or the rest of her life. Honestly, the decision wasn't really that hard.  
  
"Fine." Would you like to have coffee or tea, Mr. Fanel?  
  
"Promise?" Van continued and the grin on his face threatened to split his skull. Hey, he just wanted to be sure. She was like a slippery piece of soap, able to slide easily through his fingers and if he didn't keep an eye on her, she would simply slip out of his grasp.  
  
"Promise," she replied and wondered, what the heck she'd gotten herself into.  
  
"You won't regret it," the young man vowed, his eyes smiling down on her from between pitch-black strands.  
  
"We'll see," she whispered. "We'll see."  
  
_There is more to love than this   
Love is more than just a kiss   
Will we take you to that step   
Will we do more than just connect   
  
And will you bring the thunder in my life   
And the fire in my eyes   
Cause then there, will be days of pleasure when   
Everything far will be so near_   
  
#--#  
  
Thanks to everyone who reviewed!!!  
  
**kitsunes-girl1370:** bows to the floor Thank you very much!!! And see, it was fast!!!  
  
**Spirit0:** Muahahahahahaha!!!! Makes me insanely happy when I get a review from you Lol, I'm no good influence?! I just don't have strength to resist the call of my ideas...do you hear them in your head "Write me down! Write me down!"??? :P And nope, I don't know a blind person I got the idea while watching tv. And aye, I'm glad you like it Thank you!!! Muahahaha, I hope I can include everyone here :P scratchs head How do you guys tip waiters??? I thought it was a common habit but not only around here ?? And I never thought you could learn something like this in school!!!!!!!! shakes head I wonder why you still talk to me though all those things you learn about us crazy peeps in school   
  
**blonde-hitomi:** blushs Thankiez!!!!!!!!!   
  
**dawnsama:** Lol, Tiara being a tiger!!! Muahahahaha!! That would have been quite a sight!!! :P Glad you like it!! Thanks!!!  
  
**royuki:** blushs like mad Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**SabineballZ:** Kopf gegen Tisch hau Ja, ich hab wieder eine angefangen!!! Das ist wie eine Sucht, ich weiß auch nicht!! Ich wollt doch eigentlich erstmal die anderen fertigschreiben hoil Aber egal, du magst es und ich find's toll Danke wie immer und viel Erfolg mit deiner Geschichte!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**dreamingofflyingaway:** turns beyond red Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**fireangel1621:** I'm glad and thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Niffer:** Hey there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grins that her skull splits You know that you made me happy with your review, don't you?! :P I'm glad I couldn't scare you away with my questioning and thanks for answering everything I asked you! It did help a lot Hehe, hope you liked it again and if not, just tell me. I appreciate suggestions!! Thanks a ton!!!!!  
  
**Avaris Sky:** Lol, I hope "Bhwew" is a good sign :P But for you said you wanted to see where I take this, I think, I was able to catch your interest, right?! Thanks!!!  
  
**blubb:** ganz rot werd Freut mich riesig, dass es dir gefällt Und ja, ich hab mir gedacht, dass es eigentlich nicht viel anders ist, wenn man blind ist. Man ist daran gewöhnt und hat gelernt damit umzugehen. Und nein nein, keine Panik, du hast mich nicht verschreckt!!! Hab dir 'ne verspätete email geschrieben...hoffe sie ist angekommen!!! Und danke :P  
  
**Seth:** blushs Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Cynthia:** grins Thank you!!! But no, I'm not blind and didn't know a blind person before I wrote this. I just heard someone talk about it I'm glad that you think it's good...hope you still think so :P  
  
**A/N:** Well, here you go!! Just before I forget again, the song is a part of "I've never seen" by RZA featuring Xavier Naidoo and it'll continue throughout the next chapters Hehe, you see, Van is going to be quite the obstinate one here :P Hope you'll like it! And aye, I have to do some seriously teddy-hugging here!!!!!! grabs both of the teddies and hugs them rainbowishly mad You're the best!!! And therefore I'll include shameless advertisement here as well!! points threatingly at reader You go and read Starry Eyed Wonder's and Ryuu Angel's stories because they're absolutely worth it!!! But I think you already know that :P grins her head off Aye aye!!!! And I might as well say hi to a friend, ne?! ...in case she's reading this: Hey there, miss Schnüffelnase :P  
  
So yeah, hopefully read you next chapter!!!   
  
Dariel  
  
P.S. Just to remind you, I don't own Escaflowne...just in case anyone forgot and plans to sue me. 


	3. Unpredictable lightning

** Three. Unpredictable lightning  
#Even if you're afraid to show it#  
**  
"I can't believe you actually did this!" Yukari's angry voice echoed within the empty living room at the Kanzaki's. "Or better to say that you did _not_ do it! Are you crazy or what?!"  
  
Hitomi remained silent, lying on the couch with her legs stretched out and her dull gaze directed at the ceiling, an unreadable expression on her face.  
  
"I thought you had finally come to your senses and had quit that annoying habit of yours but no, I've obviously been wrong!" the redhead yelled but still got no reaction from the indifferent, green-eyed woman. "What's gotten into you? I bet you can't even explain it reasonably to yourself! And now, pick up that goddamn receiver! I know that you're there and I hate to yell at this machine, knowing that you're staring at the ceiling!"  
  
With a sigh, Hitomi closed her blind eyes and reached up to grab the telephon that was placed on a fragile table, right beside the couch. All she could hear was a quiet, static noise when she pressed the cold receiver to her ear.  
  
"Why?" Yukari's voice was quiet and tired, probably sore from all the screaming, but still carried this tone of determination which promised that she was not willing to give up; not now, not ever.  
  
"Why what, Yukari?" the sandy-blonde asked flatly and got a screech of frustration in response.  
  
"Don't give me that sh--" the redhead started, holding the backrest of the chair beside her in a death grip, but Hitomi interupted her.  
  
"No swearing," she said courtly and Yukari gritted her teeth audibly, taking deep breaths and counting inwardly.  
  
Slowly, the redhead sat down on the chair, an rested her head that seemed to weigh a ton in her free palm, brown eyes closed. "Fine," she pressed out. "I don't swear and you explain to me why you stood him up."  
  
"Yukari–"  
  
"Thank you, I know my name," the young woman interupted her friend, hissing like a snake that had been stepped on. "Explanation."  
  
Hitomi sighed and put the hand to her forehead that had hung loosely over the egde of the couch up to that point, looking like a shot piece of clothing.  
  
Yukari wanted an explanation. Great. How was she supposed to explain something to Yukari when she wasn't even able to explain it to herself? No matter how much she thought about this last Tuesday, she simply couldn't understand it. How could she explain Van? How could she explain the man who had fulfilled one of her most cherished wishes? Explain the man who had taken her in his car more than three hours across the country although he had only met her once before? It was not possible. And there was this one voice in her head which was telling her that she didn't want to explain it at all.  
  
The man was like a lightening during a thunderstorm – absolutely unpredictable and able to burn the place where it hit the ground, followed by thunder. Her doing was no surprise then and didn't need any justification; she just hadn't wanted to get struck by that lightning.  
  
"There is nothing to explain," she finally replied, her voice quiet and flat.  
  
She got incoherent mumbling as response from the other end of the wire, Yukari tearing her hair in a desperate fashion. If she didn't tear them out, they would at least turn grey. "Yes, there is!" she stated loudly, her temper getting the better of her. "There is quite a lot to explain if you haven't noticed yet! I mean I simply don't understand you!"  
  
"And that's exactly the problem, Yukari," Hitomi hastily interfered, running a hand through her short, honey-blond hair. "You don't understand me. You don't understand how I feel."  
  
It was silent on the wire, the static sound in her ear and the monotonuous ticking of the wall clock the only noises around Yukari. She was staring at the fridge across the room, the door covered with photos and poems. "You're a damn hypocrite, you know," she said quietly, hurt audible in her voice, and Hitomi's green eyes snapped open.  
  
"You walk around, expecting everybody to not treat you like a handicapped person but at the same time you treat yourself like one and justify your behavior with it!" she continued, the words not loud but hard like stone. "What Van did—"  
  
"What Van did has nothing to do with this!" the blind woman sharply cut in, after she had slightly recovered from Yukari's harsh words. She felt a light pang in her chest.  
  
"Oh yes, it has everything to do with this!" Yukari countered and slammed her fist on the table, shaking her head before she continued, "I don't know what you did to him when you first met him but if you had just seen the way he looked at you! He'd been watching you the whole time and if you had just seen his eyes!"  
  
"I don't need to see it," Hitomi replied coldly, her blind gaze steadfastly directed on the ceiling. "I know it was pity."  
  
"Are you blind or what?!" she shouted indignantly, almost jumping out of her seat.  
  
"Yes, if you haven't noticed yet!" the green-eyed woman yelled back, straightening into a sitting position and sparkling, wheat-coloured tresses tumbling into her face.  
  
What was Yukari's problem? The redhead was supposed to be on her side and not to accuse her as if she had blackmailed an orphanage. She was supposed to be an understanding friend, it was Hitomi's decission after all. Why didn't her friend accept it but rather turned it into a drama and full- grown argument?  
  
"Fine, if you say so," Yukari finally snorted into the receiver, breaking the silence. "But don't come crying to me when you realize what an incredible mistake you made! To meet him was a gift, Hitomi, and you threw it away without even unwrapping it!"  
  
"What do you expect from me?!" Hitomi replied, annoyed. "I don't know him, Yukari!"  
  
"And?" she barked, spreading her free arm in despair. "And? Is this going to be your excuse for everything? You don't know him? Well, to tell you something new: you will never get to know him when you run away, all the time! Wake up! You're going to regret it, that I promise you!"  
  
"Why are we arguing about that?" the young woman replied with a surrendering sigh, rubbing her left temple.  
  
"Because I'm sick of watching you suffocate under the weight of these goddamn walls you built around yourself!" Yukari's voice rang in her ears, the redhead narrowing her eyes to slits.  
  
"I'm very sorry you have to witness that but I feel comfortable and secure there!" Hitomi shot angrily back, her hand gripping the cushion tightly. "At least, I'm not getting hurt!"  
  
"Yes, you are!" the brown-eyed woman replied exasperatedly and ran a hand through her shining, red hair. "But you're denying it! You're alone, Hitomi! Don't you feel as if something's missing? I know you've been hurt but don't you think that there can be something else but hurt? Gods, there is so much more and all you have to do is open your eyes."  
  
There was no reply and Yukari was standing motionlessly in the center of her kitchen, waiting for Hitomi to counter. But there was nothing but silence.  
  
"I'm tired and I can see no point in this anymore," the redhead said quietly, after Hitomi made no move to reply. "I never saw you as a coward, really. Think about what I said."  
  
There was another pause, Yukari probably hoping for her to say something, but not for long. A soft click told Hitomi that her friend had hung up without even saying goodbye, a rhythmical tooting filling her ears, now.  
  
** #--#**  
  
"Hey, sis, where's that insane friend of yours?" Mamoru asked casually from his position on the small, round carpet that he had already marked as his, sitting in an unhealthy distance to the tv screen; if he leaned in just a bit, his nose would touch it.  
  
"Hitomi, I asked where Yukari was," he repeated, after not having gotten any reply, still not bothering to turn away from the events on the screen and his large, brown eyes reflecting them.  
  
His dark brows knitted violantly, his fingers hitting the buttons on the gamepad skillfully. Making his character perform a fluent and neck-breaking combination of various kicks and punchs, he sent his oppenent flying noisily through a stained glass window. With an angry grunt, the boy finally turned around when the words 'Winner' flashed across the screen.  
  
"Are you deaf or --" he stopped instantly, his brows shooting up in surprise and confusion, finding his sister where he had left her more than half an hour ago, in order to devote himself to his Playstation. She was slumped on the couch, blind eyes staring absently at nothing.  
  
Scratching the back of his head, he swiftly rose from the ground and walked over to the green-eyed woman. He loomed over her and cocked his head curiously to the side, watching her breathe. So, at least, she wasn't dead.  
  
With a grin, he dismissed to wave a hand in front of her eyes – there were more fertile ways to catch his sisters' attention. Too bad that there wasn't any spider around.  
  
Snickering quietly to himself, he leaned down. "WAKE UP!" he yelled into her ear, making her shriek in shock and bolt right from the couch.  
  
Instantly, Hitomi whirled around with pure annoyance written across her angry features. "Mamoru!" she shouted and the dark-haired boy blinked innocently. "What was that for? Were you trying to kill me?"  
  
"I just brought you back to life but you're welcome, of course," he drawled in reply and bowed deeply, earning a snarl.  
  
"What do you want?" she barked and ran a hand over her face. "You could have asked me without making my heart stop beating."  
  
"I tried," Mamoru replied dryly with a suspiciously raised brow. "Where is Yukari?"  
  
"Not here," she stated flatly, after a brief moment of hesitation, and sat down on the couch again. Feeling a light nudge at her tigh, she stretched out her hand and patted Tiara on the head who had just awoken from a nap.  
  
"Oh really? I didn't notice that!" her younger brother countered sarcastically and frowned down at her. "She said she wanted to come over and take revenge for the last hundred lost fights against me."  
  
"She won't be coming over, today," Hitomi told him quietly and absently ran her fingers through her dog's thick fur, Tiara yawning noisily. "We've had some differences earlier."  
  
"You had a fight?" Mamoru asked in surprise and sat down on the couch beside his sister, the cushion bending under his weight. "What about?"  
  
"Nothing of your interest," Hitomi replied, her blind eyes directed on everything else but him. "Why are you so hellbent on playing with her anyway? She's no challenge for you. She's even worse than the computer itself."  
  
"But the computer doesn't complain like her," he replied and Hitomi heard the huge grin on his face, his eyes sparkling mischievously. "It's not the same without those famous outbursts of her."  
  
The corners of her lips twitched lightly. "I swear, the both of you are going to end up together, one day," she told him with a faked sigh of exhaustion, not able to hide the smirk.  
  
"Ugh, never!" Mamoru exclaimed vividly, pulling a face. "You know how old she is? She could be my—"  
  
"Be careful what you say, young man," Hitomi interupted him, before he could finish the sentence for which he probably would have earned a bruise or two, glaring threatingly at him.  
  
"She could be my older sister," he finished sweetly and hastily backed away in order to escape that terribly unerring smack of hers.  
  
Cackling to himself, he rose and Hitomi followed the noise of his footsteps with her eyes. "Now, care to tell me what was wrong with you?" he spoke, marching into the kitchen and her glare turned into a frown.  
  
"There was nothing wrong with me," she replied quietly and listened to Tiara's regular breaths that were the only noises in the empty living room, sunlight warming her bare arms.  
  
There was a short bark of laugh until Mamoru's muffled voice reached her from the kitchen. "Well, I'm no doctor here but spacing out for thirty minutes quite means that there is something wrong," he stated and carefully fished for a soda in the fridge. "If I didn't know you that well, I'd say it was because of a guy."  
  
Hitomi's hand on Tiara's furred head stopped, eyes emotionless.  
  
_Seems as if he doesn't know you that well after all_, a voice whispered and she wanted to scream in frustration.  
  
No matter how hard she tried to ignore it but she simply couldn't forget him, couldn't chase his deep and warm laugh from her mind. And nor could she ignore that she felt guilty; guilty for standing him up. Not that it had been the first time for her, it was her usual way to tell a guy that she was not interested but never before had someone haunted her thoughts like that – and she didn't know why.  
  
There wasn't anything she had to feel guilty about, was there? But why then did her thoughts always drift back to him, back to his voice, back to the way he had made her feel?  
  
"You're doing it again," Mamoru suddenly whispered and made her snap out of her thoughts, standing right in front of her with an unreadable expression on his face.  
  
He was just about to open his mouth and continue when Tiara gave a short bark, followed by the doorbell ringing.  
  
"Why do we have a doorbell at all?" Mamoru questioned nobody in particular and took Tiara by her collar, dragging the excited dog towards the kitchen who had just attempted to rush to the front door, the tag clinking softly.  
  
Blinking, Hitomi rose and slowly walked over to the door. She didn't even need to count her steps or anything like that for the ground plan of her house had been burned into her memory over the years.  
  
Grabbing the cold knob, she paused. "Who's there?" she asked suspiciously, her head tilted to the ground and turned slightly so that she could hear clearer, sunlight dancing in her honey-blond tresses.  
  
"A delivery for miss Hitomi Kanzaki," an unfamiliar voice replied and the young woman opened the door with a deep frown on her forehead. She felt the sun beat down on her skin by the moment she stepped outside, a wave of warmth swepping against her and flooding her with the scent of warm earth and the noise of cicades.  
  
"I'm not expecting any delivery," Hitomi stated and unconsciously crossed her bare arms in front of her chest, a light breeze dishevelling her hair that carried the laughter of children who were playing in a garden across the street.  
  
"Oh, it had been payed already," the young man in the brown UPS uniform explained and ran a hand through his short, blond hair, before adjusting his cap again, shading his intense eyes from the sun. "You only have to sign this."  
  
The green-eyed woman hesitated a moment, a foreboding feeling crawling through her, making her feel as if a snake was winding its way through her innards. "What is it?" she questioned warily.  
  
"Well," the delivery man answered, squinting his blue eyes against the sun, and she could hear the smile in his voice. He fished a biro from out of the pocket of his shirt and held it out to Hitomi together with a sheet of paper. "It is definitely something different. I've never delivered anything like that before."  
  
The young woman rubbed her arms and finally stretched them out in front of her. "Where do I have to sign?"  
  
The blond-haired man grinned and handed her the paper, leading her hand to the thin line where she had to put her name. "Thank you, miss Kanzaki," he said when she finished and turned around with a light nod of his head, one hand tapping his cap. "Have a nice day."  
  
"Wait!" she called out, surprised and slightly confused, taking a step ahead. "Where is it?"  
  
"Leaning right beside you at the wall," she heard him call over his shoulder, blue eyes twinkling. "Good luck!"  
  
The back doors of the dark-brown car in their driveway was slammed shut and the young man wound his way across the cargo hold room to his seat behind the steering wheel, the engine roaring when he turned the ignition. White pebbles crunched under the tires when the transporter was reversed but she didn't hear anything of it. She just stared, wide-eyed, at the spot beside her.  
  
"A promise," a familiar and deep baritone suddenly spoke calmly beside her, making her jump slightly. "A promise is a written or spoken declaration that one will definitely give or do or not do something. Definition according to the Fanelia Advanced Learner's Dictionary."  
  
Hitomi couldn't see him. She couldn't see that he was leaning casually with his back against the white-washed wall of her house but she guessed it. His loose, red shirt swayed lazily in the warm summer breeze, one tanned hand in the pocket of his pants, the other one holding a thick book, the pages moving slightly. His eyes were focused on the book, pitch-black strands of unruly hair tumbling into his view and she jerked violantly when he slammed the book shut.  
  
"I don't know what you understand by 'promise'," he stated, looking up at her and she heard the accusation swing with the words as if he was spelling it for her. "But here, you can read yourself."  
  
The old boards of the porch creaked when he moved, gracefully pushing himself off of the wall, and she felt the book being pressed into her hands. Her fingers instinctively tightened around it. "Van..." she breathed and looked up, sensing his looming presence right in front of her.  
  
"Yeah, me," he grunted in reply and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his pants, looking like a lost puppy at a bus stop.  
  
"You dispatched yourself by post?" Hitomi asked in disbelief, her mouth slightly agape and her eyes darting around, indicating her nervousness. And she knew that he noticed it.  
  
"Would you have opened the door if I had been the one who knocked?" Van countered, his eyes firmly focused on her and his voice dangerously calm, just like the sea right before a storm.  
  
"No...I don't think so..." she replied slowly, the words only a whisper when she turned her head away, honey-blond strands tumbling over her eyes.  
  
"Why did you do it?" A simple question, this time without the lightest bit of accusation and though she pressed her lips to a thin line as if he was convicting her of murder. Well, she hadn't actually expected him to do this. To be exact, she had even thought she would never meet him again. That was the second time he had proved her wrong. Good she didn't bet.  
  
"Van, look this has nothing to do with--" she started, slowly looking up but never came to finish the senctence.  
  
"Damn, Hitomi!" the raven-haired man barked and she cringed at the sound. For once, she could be glad to be blind for she would have cowered under his gaze. Right now, his eyes were more like glowing steel that one had held into the fire for too long, flashing with anger. "It wasn't as if I asked for you to be my wife or anything! All I wanted was a date! Only a nice, little date! A few hours with you, nothing more!"  
  
He ran a desperate hand through his unruly hair and looked down at her, sighing at the sight of her staring at the ground and pressing the book to her chest while biting on her lower lip. "I don't know what I did that you detest me so much that you even break a promise," he sighed, his voice quiet again and his eyes softer. "But tell me one coherent reason for standing me up yesterday evening and I'll be out of your life forever."  
  
She opened her mouth but closed it again, right after she had noticed that no words were coming out of it. One coherent reason and he would be out of her life. Wasn't that exactly what she wanted him to do? At least, she thought so but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't completely fight down this voice in the back of her head which was telling her that she didn't.  
  
"Just accept that I couldn't go out with you," she replied quietly and if the wind had blown just a little stronger Van wouldn't have been able to understand her for the feather-light words would have simply been carried away from her lips.  
  
"Why not?" he asked incredulously, spreading his arms in despair. "I don't bite!"  
  
Her hard, green eyes were directed on the wooden boards and she seemed to fight about if she should answer that question or not. Hitomi even forgot to blink. She had already told Yukari, she could tell him as well.  
  
"Because," she began and slowly looked up again, her blind eyes finding his auburn ones as if knowing that he was directly standing in front of her, his head tilted to the side to study her features with that intense sparkle filling his unfathomable orbs. "I promised myself not to let anyone come close to me again."  
  
"You're afraid." It was not a question but a statement.  
  
"I'm not afraid!" she replied defensively and lifted her chin, causing the shadow of a smile to linger on his lips for a brief moment. "But I know that it was pity what brought you here! That it is pity what makes you want to see me again! It is always pity!"  
  
At once, his black brows knitted and destroyed the soft expression that had occupied his handsome features, anger flashing within his darkened eyes. "And you know that for sure?" Van asked, not in the least trying to keep his voice quiet. "Are you a mind-reader or what? Do you know what's going on in my mind? I don't intend to offend your amazing abilities but you don't know a thing about what I think or feel! You don't know me enough to do so!"  
  
"It's not easy, you know?!" she shouted back at him, her grip around the book tightening so much that her knuckles stuck out white. Maybe talking to Yukari earlier hadn't helped to calm her down. All the frustration about her friend's lack of understanding resurfaced and Van was unfortunately the only one around, right now. "I can't see them but I can feel their uncomfortableness when they look at me, thinking 'Oh look, the poor thing, all blind and helpless'!"  
  
"Did you ever bother to ask?" the young man countered, obviously annoyed by her stubborness. "I promise you that you'll experience a whole new side of the world if you just ask and allow other people to come close to you!"  
  
"I did, just to inform you, and I was being disappointed by this people I had allowed to come close to me!" Hitomi barked angrily and the frown on Van's forehead vanished.  
  
He was quiet for a few seconds, his gaze never leaving her face and a warm breeze rustling lazily through his pitch-black hair, unruly strands dancing across his view. "Well, when this is your opinion about me, I have nothing to lose then," Van finally said and a grin tugged tentatively at the corners of his lips. "I'll show you what you're missing out."  
  
"And that would be?" the honey-blonde asked, her voice not wavering, jutting out her chin stubbornly.  
  
"What a rainbow feels like," he replied in a voice she had never heard on him before, the words like the rustling of velvet in a warm breeze and she could feel him lean in, her heart skipping a beat.  
  
Her first instinct was to run; turn around and run. But it was impossible for his arm slipped immediately around her, holding her close. In order to free herself, she raised her arms but stopped by the moment he took hold of her chin, leaning down without hesitating and suffocating any attempt of escape. Her bright green eyes widened to a stormy sea by the moment his lips ever so gently touched her ones, feeling her heart leap into her throat.  
  
She stiffened instantly and felt Van grin against her lips when the book slipped out of her grasp, hitting the ground with a hollow thud.  
  
Her heart was hammering that she thought it was already doing the heartbeats for the next two years when the young man began to caress her in a way that set her nerve-endings on fire and turned her mind into a heap of useless mush, her skin burning where he touched her tenderly as if afraid to break her.  
  
Van was teasing her with the softness of his lips, vigorously silencing the voices in her head and chasing away all coherent thoughts from her mind. She didn't respond but neither was he prodding nor pressing but devoted himself to her with the patience and perfection of a painter who wanted his work to burn itself in the mind of those who looked at it. She was left to something new, feeling as if she stood in icy-cold water with the sun beating down on her. It was when a tidal wave of the most different and contradicting feelings flooded her, filling her with contentment and fear, and it was like colours that did not match – like the colours of a rainbow.  
  
Hitomi released the breath she had been holding when he pulled away, the noise of her blood thundering in her ears like the roaring of the sea at a fissured coast.  
  
"And there are rainbows even more intense," he whispered against her motionless lips, touching them with every syllable and sending shivers down her spine. His thumb was slowly stroking her cheeks as if to soothe her, rusty-coloured eyes now dark, glowing with something she wouldn't have been able to read even if she had had her eyesight, and his onyx-coloured strands brushed over her skin like silk.  
  
Her body still frozen, he kissed her once more, slowly, and she could feel her knees buckle underneath her as if the added weight of his lips was too much for her to bear, before he pulled completely away, leaving her aching for more. To her own surprise and horror, she was hardly able to stop the moan of protest from passing her lips.  
  
Hitomi felt the young man retreat, the quietly squeaking boards of the porch giving away his position, and he uncompromisingly took the warmth he had surrounded her with away with him as well as his faint, summer-like scent. He didn't leave the slightest trace but his taste and an oddly tingling feeling on her lips together with the rememberance.  
  
"You can keep the book," he said over his shoulder when he walked towards the street, hands casually in the pockets of his pants and the wind tearing at his raven-black hair and red shirt. "I bought it for you."  
  
He was long gone when Hitomi finally moved, tugging a strand of honey-blond hair behind her ear and stooping to pick up the book she had dropped when he had kissed her. Unconsciously, she reached up to touch her lips that were still tingling while grooping for the book with the other one. It was opened, the pages rustling in the wind and she traced them with sensitive fingers. Her eyes widened when she felt the little bumps that covered the sheets of paper. He had bought her a book in the braille code, the writing of blind people.  
  
Who could have known that one could be struck by lightning without even noticing it?  
  
_I have never felt thunder  
And lightning like this   
I have never been struck by  
A wonder like this  
_  
Tbc...   
  
**#--#  
**  
**Niffer:** Hey there, as well! I'm so happy you like it!!! jumps around Hope you liked it again and hey, are there dictionaries in the braille code? Didn't know that! Thanks again for the review and your explanations!!!!!  
  
**Spirit0:** puffs chest Me fast :P Yup, believe it or not but there is such a thing as cinnamon icecream! But only in winter becoz of Christmas and all that...wouldn't mind cinnamon in summer though :P Thanks a ton!!!!  
  
**blonde-hitomi:** gives you high five I know this cutting-reviews-and-making- readers-turn-red-with-rage-attitude of ff.net nods vigorously and pats your back Lol, and you liked it, I see!! So, an idea about Van's past, eh?! :P Will reveal it soon and then, you'll see!! Bwahaha!! Thankiez!!!!!!!  
  
**Kitsune's Girl370:** sweatdrops I really wish it usually were only three weeks!! But wow, 5 days!! I do feel honoured! Though I don't know when I'll update the other ones...finals arrived..   
  
**raigne:** grins that her skull splits Thanks!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**SabineballZ:** Alle geschockt hier von meinen Lichtgeschwindigkeits- updates...bin ich wirklich so schlimm?? :P Und ich weiß, isser nich einfach zum Knuddeln?? sich Van grabsch und tot-knuddel Wie hat der Knirps nochmal Bogus zum Leben erweckt...wär echt praktisch :P Danke!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**ponchita:** Glad you like it!! Thanks!!  
  
**saphir kitsune youkai girl:** blushs like mad Thank you!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**f-zelda:** bows Here is the update :P Though the story is still not finished!   
  
**Namesake:** blushs beyond red Can only say thanks!!!!!!   
  
**Kya77:** grins Glad you like it all and for the past...well, you'll have to wait a bit longer!! Thank you!!!  
  
**azncopycat:** Lol, thanks!!   
  
**jaguar-kally7:** Wow, so I say, lucky you? Wished there was, at least, _a_ guy in my life mutters under her breath Thanks!!!!!   
  
**A/N:** Here you go Muahahaha!!! I've nothing to say but that I don't know if you can dispatch yourself by UPS...honestly, I never tried :P Oh hey, btw, I don't own UPS!! Damn, could earn a lot of money if I did...oh well. And I also don't own the song though I already said that last time snorts Anyways, you go have a wonderful day and review :P See you next time!!!  
  
Dariel


	4. Down on my knees

**Four. Down on my knees  
#But it makes me believe in life again#  
**  
_There are days where I can't stop talking about you   
There are days I can't stop saying your name   
And I'm looking for ways never to part from you  
Everything changes and you still stay the same  
_  
The clinking of dishes and the noise of fat sizzling in polished pans filled the air that was impregnated with the scents of lunch and various spices. The swinging double doors at the far end of the room were opened every now and then when a waiter appeared to get an ordered meal, the sound of conversations softly swepping in.  
  
A young man was standing in front of one of the innumerable stoves, his tall form bent over a silver pot that was filled with an exotic smelling sauce. He was tasting his creation with a suspiciously raised brow while panning fried vegetables with his left hand skillfully as if he had never done anything else in his entire life, his attentive, auburn eyes already scanning the place for the salt. This time, there were no unruly strands blocking his view for a small ribbon was obstinately taming his mop of raven-black hair at the back of his head and a white cap kept his forehead free from escaped streaks, only a few ones sticking out at the sides.  
  
With a swift motion, he lifted the pan off of the stove and emptied it on a white plate where rice had already been arranged together with a deliciously smelling fish. After quickly adding the sauce, he grabbed the plate together with another one that was already done and put them onto a counter, placing a sign with a black 26 on it beside them.  
  
The shadow of a smile crossed his features when he saw out of the corners of his eyes the figure that was standing right behind the counter, a figure that definitely didn't belong into the kitchen of the _Escaflowne_.  
  
"You were supposed to call me," the young woman in the yellow summer dress stated angrily and tapped a flip flopped foot on the tiled ground, her shining, pink hair held back in pigtails.  
  
"I was?" Van replied nonchalantly without even looking up, reaching for a bunch of carrots to his right and began to cut them with quick and fluent movements.  
  
"Yes, Van!" Merle countered vividly, glaring at him with iced blue eyes and her delicate brows knitted. "What is it with you? I asked you to call me right after the date and you agreed!"  
  
"You _pestered_ me until I agreed, correct," the young man said dryly and wiped his forehead at the sleeve of his black shirt, before putting the carrots in a pot with boiling water. "And?"  
  
"And?" she echoed in disbelief, the scowl on her features telling him that she would strangle him without hesitation if he just wasn't holding a knife with a sparkling blade in his hand that second. "You didn't call me! I wanted to know everything! Every little detail!"  
  
"Why calling when there was no need to?" Van replied with a shrug and turned away, heading to the huge, silver fridge to get a bowl with seafood.  
  
"Would you, please, stop talking in riddles!" the blue-eyed girl furiously blurted out, fed up with his mascarade of indifference. Almost unconsciously, she stepped out of the way of the waiter who had just entered but was too busy with thinking of an appropriate way to unman Van later that she didn't even notice the flirtatious grin the curly-haired man gave her. "I'm not in the mood, now, to decipher these cryptic words of yours!"  
  
"And you came all the way here from Pallas to tell me this," he stated, eyes narrowed in search for the bowl, and Merle felt like screaming because of his unimpressed tone. He stood with his broad back to her so she couldn't see his face, couldn't see his eyes, couldn't tell if he was trying to distract her from something else.  
  
She took a deep breath before replying. "Yes, I came all the way here by bus, just to inform you, to kick your butt," she said with a calm but strained voice, hardly able to control her temper. "I thought you had dropped this lone-wolf-attitude where your goal in life was to scare everybody away with being a total ass. I thought you had opened up. Okay, you and me being a couple didn't work and I know that it will never work but, at least, I thought you were my friend. I thought you trusted me. I -- "  
  
Turning around, the raven-haired man raised his head and gave her a look that made her immediately close her mouth, the fire in his boundless orbs able to boil water at that very moment. "She stood me up," he finally told Merle with a matter-of-fact voice and directed his eyes back down to the seafood, dissolving the numbness he had pulled her into.  
  
"She what?" the young woman questioned quietly and stared at Van who was just drying his tanned hands at the once white apron around his waist that showed the menu of the day quite clearly. "But why? Did she tell you why?"  
  
"I probably scared her," Van replied with a smile that did not reach his eyes and dropped his hands. "Gods, I feel like a damn stalker! And even when I didn't scare her already with asking her for a date, I scared her away a hundred percent with this last, more than insane idea of mine."  
  
Merle frowned even more at the boyish grin that rushed across his lips by then like a shooting star across the night sky and was just about to open her mouth when he looked up, facing her. "Obviously, I can't get rid of this old habit," he said and shook his head, before asking with the most desperate expression on his face she had ever seen, "Did I screw it, Merle?"  
  
"Oh, Van," was all the young woman could reply, her features softening instantly, and he shook his head again.  
  
What did she do to him? What did she do to make him turn into a lovesick fool? He just didn't know and he found himself at a point where he was willing to do everything just to see her again, to be near her again. Only it seemed that everything wasn't enough or maybe everything was too much. He simply didn't know what to do for no matter what he did, it seemed to be always wrong.  
  
What did she do to bring him down to his knees?  
  
"Hey, Van," Merle's soft voice reached him in his reverie and he tried to blink the confusing thoughts from his mind. She gave him a warm and patient smile and pointed at something beside him. "Your bouillabaisse is boiling over."  
  
Looking down, his eyes widened by the sight of seashells dancing in white foam and he swore that even Merle covered her ears, a look of pure disapproval on her face. Reaching for a dishtowel beside him, he pulled the pot away from the stove that was now soaked with fish soup.  
  
"Seems as if I can't do anything right," he muttered and wiped the liquid off of the stove, dark brows knitted in annoyance.  
  
"When did you turn in such a crybaby?" Merle questioned frankly with her arms crossed in front of her chest, only to have him shoot an angry glare at her. "When did you stop to fight? You know, it would be quite more effective if you just stopped complaining and did something against this miserable situation of yours!"  
  
"Oh really?" Van replied harshly and collected seashells and pieces of carrots which had been lifted out of the pot by the violantly boiling water, throwing them across the room into a huge trash can. "And, Dr. Shrink, what is it I could do?"  
  
"You could treat me a coffee," she stated matter-of-factly and glanced at him like a cat would watch a mouse she pretended not to see. "And you could tell me what stupid thing you exactly did to scare her away for I think that I missed quite a lot there...when is your shift over?"  
  
Van graced her with a look that should proabably ask her if she was kidding and tell her that she better left him alone – unfortunately, Merle was deaf concerning this kind of conversation. She had always been.  
  
She had never cared about him wanting to be alone but had rather plopped down beside him, giving him no chance at all to get lost in his thoughts. Everything was her doing; their friendship as well as their relationship. She had always been the one to take the first step and he didn't regret that he hadn't stepped backwards but remained still, waiting for her approach. He knew that his life would have been a whole lot different without the pink-haired whirlwind, a whole lot calmer and way less spontanuous.  
  
He sighed in surrender when he saw her tap her foot impatiently on the ground (what he had learned was a very bad sign) and looked at the wall clock above the doors that led into the restaurant.  
  
"Half an hour ago," he answered with a sigh and scratched the back of his head. "My shift ended half an hour ago. Dilandau's late like usual. Maybe there was a fire to lit somewhere."  
  
Merle raised a questioning eyebrow at him, obviously confused. "Don't you mean a fire to extinguish?" she asked and Van grinned lazily.  
  
"Oh no, I meant exactly what I said," he drawled and Merle raised her second brow as well, looking like the epitome of a question mark. "Believe me, within this last year I spent with him in one dorm room plus these added weeks here in the restaurant, I learned more about the guy than was healthy for me. I still don't know why the little pyro had been employed here for I think it was a really careless thing to do."  
  
And as if on cue, the high noise of glass and porcelain shattering to pieces suddenly echoed within the kitchen, followed by a string of curses. Curious, Van stepped around his stove and glanced along the hallway, groaning in exasperation when he found mentioned roommate standing in the doorway with his hands raised in defence and the curly-haired waiter from before kneeling in a heap of broken crockery crowned with potatoes and vegetables, glaring daggers at the albino.  
  
His tall and lanky form was clad in black, emphazising his gene-defect- determined paleness to an unhealthy amount, his red eyes glowing like the breaklights of a car at night. The man was a walking contrast and he still wondered why people cleared a path for him wherever he appeared.  
  
Dilandau stepped carefully over a steak with a truly offended expression on his features and making his way towards Van, a huge grin spread across his face by spotting the dark-haired man.  
  
"Good mornin', Van-man," he greeted cheerfully and slapped Van on the shoulder, winking at Merle and completely ignoring the lethal expression in Van's seething auburn eyes.  
  
"Good _afternoon_, idiot," the young man barked in reply, not even trying to restrain himself.  
  
"What is it with you guys, today?" Dilandau countered in confusion, taking a step backwards, and ran a hand through his chin-long, silvery white hair that was held back by a yellow headband. The man had no sense of colours as well. "Did I miss the announcement of the Day-to-insult-Dilandau or what? Go live up your frustration somewhere else coz I've got feelings, too, you know?!"  
  
Van barked a laugh. "You keep telling that yourself," he mocked and began to untie the apron from around his waist. "Maybe you should have thought about that before oversleeping. Your shift began thirty minutes ago."  
  
"Damn, you serious?" Dilandau asked, shocked, and his red eyes darted around in search for the choleric chef who would probably chop off his head if he got to know about Dilandau's lateness, yet again. "You could have called me, man!"  
  
"I'm not your mother, Albatou," Van growled in reply with narrowed eyes and took off his cap, pitch-black strands immediately tumbling into his face as if they had been waiting for it the whole time.  
  
Dilandau raised his pale brows in mock innocence. "You're not?" he questioned with faked confusion, almost invisible brows raised, and cackled when he was rewarded with Van's cap and apron being chucked at his head.  
  
Whistling to himself, the albino made himself feel at home in the kitchen, Van leaving for the door while shaking his head.  
  
"Wait, it is way past two and he just awoke?" Merle asked beside him and glanced back at Dilandau who was playing with a lighter while waiting for the water to boil. "What is he doing at night?"  
  
"There are a few things, I can die happy without ever getting to know them," Van began slowly and reached up to loosen the ribbon that had tamed his stubborn hair, placing it back in the usual state of disorder with one hand. "And Dilandau's nightly activities are definitely on the top of the list."  
  
Without wasting a second thought, Merle quickly caught his wrist before he could exit the room and made him stop, the young man stiffening instantly. "Did you already tell her?" she asked quietly, watching Van's stony expression with narrowed blue eyes.  
  
"She didn't ask yet," he replied flatly, staring down at where she touched him and made an attempt to continue his way out of the kitchen.  
  
"Would you have told her if she had asked?" Merle questioned, still not letting go of his arm but rather tightening her vice-like grip, forcing him to a halt again.  
  
Van didn't reply. He only raised his gaze, ever so slowly, and Merle had to face bottomless pools of a rare reddish-brown, like chestnuts in the light of the setting sun, making her aware once more of why she had fallen so hard for him. Only this time, there was nothing in his eyes but something she had only seen once; at the day when they had broken up – self-disdain.  
  
#--#  
  
She sat quietly on the swing that stood calmly in a corner of their porch, a light breeze dishevelling her short, wheat-coloured tresses. It carried the faint scent of lillies and coffee from the garden of their neighbours, soft conversations hovering in the air together with the warmth of the day.  
  
Her hands were folded in her lap and her blind green eyes were focused on the spot where she heard her mother work at the flower borders, a bark of a dog or the laughter of children breaking the silence every now and then. The swing was squeaking quietly while moving slightly back and forth, just as if the wind was pushing it.  
  
"Well?" an all too familiar voice stated beside her, making her blink, and Yukari didn't even try to not sound annoyed and impatient.  
  
"What's the matter, Yukari?" Hitomi asked slowly and brushed a dancing strand of hair out of her face that was tickling over her skin.  
  
The redhead snorted and crossed her arms in front of her chest, looking like a pouting child. "I'm still waiting for you to admit that you made a mistake," she explained casually and watched her friend with narrowed eyes, searching for a reaction, any reaction.  
  
"Why do you think I would do that?" Hitomi replied and directed her gaze to the ground, green orbs hiding behind swung lashes and her fingers playing absently with the hem of her shirt.  
  
"Why else should you have asked me to come over?" Yukari countered, her brown eyes never leaving Hitomi's form that was covered with the softly moving shadows of the sunlit foliage that was spanned above them, sunlight twinkling between the rustling leaves. "Except there was something else I should know..."  
  
It was silent after Yukari had trailed off, the redhead pushing the swing gently with one bare foot that rested on the warm boards of the porch. She knew that there was no use in pressing Hitomi for the green-eyed woman would simply shut her out. It was one of the things Yukari had slowly learned over the years; either Hitomi decided to tell her or she decided not to tell her.  
  
But this time, there was something around her that told Yukari that the sandy-blonde didn't want to tell but wanted her to find out. Yukari knew that Hitomi was about to burst inwardly, her restless fingers just one of the signs, but though rigid to simply tell it.  
  
"Well," Yukari tried again, her shoulder-long tresses sparkling in the sunlight and an amused smile playing across her lips.  
  
Cocking her head to the sight, she watched Hitomi turn and hesitantly face her, her gaze however resting on everything but the redhead. The young woman was mildly surprised when her green-eyed friend produced a thick book from beside her, placing it in front of Yukari and turning away again, making her friend raise her delicate brows.  
  
"A braille book," she stated and frowned at Hitomi before carefully stretching out her hand, running over the bumps on the cover with her fingertips. "A dictionary? Hitomi, what...?"  
  
"He gave it to me," she stated quietly, staring out into nothing, and Yukari's eyes widened. "Two days ago, he dispatched himself by UPS and gave it to me."  
  
"He did what?" Yukari asked in disbelief and amusement, not knowing if her friend was joking or not, and glanced back down at the book when Hitomi made no move to reply.  
  
The thin pages seemed empty if one looked from afar but revealed an irregular pattern of dots by giving them a closer look. It was a fascinating language of its own and Yukari had early started to learn it, finding great joy in deciphering the dots. A smile stole across her lips when she remembered that Hitomi hadn't been so happy about teaching her for Yukari could be worse than a furious and stomping, little girl in the center of a mall when something didn't go the way she wanted to.  
  
Raising her gaze briefly, she caught a glimpse of the six-year-old Hitomi who had sat alone in the shadows of an old oak tree, with strands of honey- blond hair dancing in the sunlight, her small fingers curiously inspecting a leaf. By that time, Yukari hadn't known how much the unconspicuous girl would influence and change her life, how much she would teach her. She hadn't known what kind of effect the decision to keep the lonely girl company would have on her. But that was something Hitomi was completely oblivious to; she didn't know the extend of the impact she could have on people's life – an impact Yukari would always be grateful for.  
  
The pages were rustling through her fingers and she looked down just in time to spot something that actually didn't belong there, stopping right before the cover swung shut with her brows raised. Her fingers grazed over the first page where a few words were written in black ink and a surprisingly neat and expressive handwriting, the letters long and slightly tilted like trees in a storm.  
  
"There is something written," she stated quietly and Hitomi's heart involuntarily skipped a beat, the young woman though remaining as motionless as if she were made of stone. Yukari however took it as an approval to continue; she could read Hitomi even if she was a statue. And yet the redhead knew that she was just someone who pretended to be a statue, the masquerade busted if one took the time to stop and give her a closer look. After all, even Hitomi needed to breathe.  
  
"_You only get to know the weight of a word when you keep it_," the redhead read softly and the words were like a leaf in the wind, dancing around Hitomi and repeating themselves in her mind.  
  
She took a shuddering breath and clutched the wood of the swing tightly, before she spoke. "Do you think I made a mistake?" she whispered, reluctantly uttering what she had been trying so hard to deny.  
  
She had denied that Yukari had been right, with everything she had said. Right about her hypocrisy and continuous search for excuses, right about him. And Hitomi had put so much effort in lying to herself that she was now completely exhausted, drained and tired. And afraid.  
  
Afraid because admitting the denial towards Yukari meant that she had been denying a lot more. It meant that she had denied that everything had affected her more than she wanted it to. Denied that there was something happening to her when she was near him, denied that he could actually mean something to her. And it scared her beyond herself.  
  
Yukari leaned back against the backrest and looked out into the garden of the Kanzaki's, moving the swing softly with her feet and watching Hitomi's mother chat with a neighbor. "It's not important what I think, Hitomi," she replied quietly, slowly closing the book that lay beside her. "What do _you_ think?"  
  
"I don't know," she answered, still refusing to face her friend who rolled her brown eyes in exasperation.  
  
"You're the most undecided person I know!" the redhead exclaimed and ran a desperate hand through her shoulder-long hair. "I mean you're managing your life way better than me but when it comes to certain situations you're hopelessly hesitant! You've got all possibilities given but you don't know what you want and that's the main problem here. You don't know if you should study to become a teacher for blind people or not though you'd make it a hundred per cent, you don't know if you should move out or not though you'd definitely manage it, you don't know if you should give Van a chance or not though..."  
  
"He kissed me."  
  
At once, the swinging stopped.  
  
"Excuse me but I think I just hallucinated," Yukari muttered and rubbed her ears, ever so slowly turning to face Hitomi whose lips twitched briefly. "I thought you said that he had kissed you."  
  
"He gave me the book, kissed me and left," Hitomi replied and leaned against the backrest as well, covering her face with her hands. She could feel her cheeks heat up by just thinking of it. "Now, oh Goddess of Advices, what am I supposed to do?"  
  
"Well, is he a good kisser?" the redhead questioned bluntly with a smirk on her features and Hitomi sank even farther into the swing, groaning by feeling her cheeks burn against her palms.  
  
"You're not of great help," she mumbled and her friend grinned even wider.  
  
"It's quite a surprise and I don't know how I can help you at all," Yukari stated with a sigh and smiled wistfully. "At first, you have to clarify for yourself what you want. I know that you don't like to make decisions but you will have to, that's for sure. You can't keep up this lukewarm behavior for he won't be waiting forever."  
  
"How do I know what I want?" Hitomi questioned, the words muffled for she was still burying her face in her hands.  
  
Yukari gave a laugh and shook her head in amusement, red strands swaying gently. "Don't ask me," she answered and glanced at the young woman beside her. "That you have to find out for yourself. But say, did it affect you in any way?"  
  
She was quiet, slowly breathing in and out, the voice of her enthusiastically chatting mother and the rustling of the leaves above sounding as if coming from far away. It was when Yukari's chuckling broke the silence.  
  
"No wait, it _did_ affect you or we wouldn't be here having this conversation," she exclaimed expertly, leaning close to Hitomi in order to whisper in her ear. "What did you feel?"  
  
The regularly rising and falling of the green-eyed woman's chest stopped and her heart beat so loud that it drowned all the other noises around her. What had she been feeling?  
  
She had felt something that was beyond words, beyond description, beyond explaining. Van. He had been everywhere around her; in the gentle touch of his lips, in the warmth he had wrapped her in, in the pleasant scent of sunkissed fields that had surrounded him, in the tender caress of the wind and the soft whisper of lush leaves. He had been the air she had breathed in, that very moment.  
  
"When I sit back and just listen, he's there, on my mind," Hitomi whispered instead of answering, closing her blind eyes and Yukari stretched out her hand to touch her friend's forearm. "But I'm afraid that he'll hurt me as well, 'Kari."  
  
"I absolutely understand that but it's something nobody can guarantee you, Hitomi," the redhead replied quietly, with a small smile on her lips. "Neither me nor Van himself. It's up to you to decide if it's worth it to take the risk or not. It's like sky-diving."  
  
"What do you say should I do?" the young woman questioned and tilted her head slightly to the side, facing Yukari.  
  
"I can't decide that for you," she stated simply and Hitomi sighed, running a hand through her short hair.  
  
"What would you do?" she asked and earned a smile, Yukari tightening the hold on her forearm.  
  
"I'd close my eyes and just jump."  
  
Dropping her hands, Hitomi directed her gaze up at the wooden roof that spanned half of the porch. "I don't have my parachute here," she said and a grin spread over Yukari's face that threatened to split her skull.  
  
#--#  
  
Rays of sunlight fell through the high windows that hemmed the hallways of the dormitory which belonged to Isaac-Dornkirk-University, situated at the far end of the campus. The building was of the same architectural style as was the university itself, looking like an old palace and reminding of the institute's long history, the unique blue roof sparkling like the sea at a cloudless day.  
  
The old stones radiated a pleasant coolness, the vibrating heat of the day locked out by massive oak doors. The dormitory was almost empty for most of the students were enjoying the summer break somewhere else but there, the only noise that of footsteps echoing along the hallway.  
  
"If I'm not completely mistaken," a red-haired woman stated and turned the small map she was holding upside down, cocking her head to the side. "I think it's up this stairway."  
  
Hitomi leaned on her stick and raised a delicate eyebrow at her friend, pushing her sunglasses up the bridge of her nose. "I don't know if you already forgot but these were exactly the words you said when we were standing at the bottom of the last two stairways," she replied dryly and Yukari just shrugged.  
  
"I know," she huffed and folded the map, only to wave it in front of Hitomi's face. "But assuming that I read the map right and only held it wrong these last two times, we have to be right this time."  
  
"Logic isn't yours, is it, 'Kari?!" Hitomi said matter-of-factly and slowly straightened, groping with her stick skillfully for the first step.  
  
"Why no," she exclaimed in response and Hitomi shook her head in resignation at the pride that sounded with the words, the redhead sprinting past her up the stairs. "Come on, sleepyhead! When you slow down only a bit more, you're walking backwards!"  
  
Smiling softly to herself, the young woman continued her way up the slightly winding stairway, her friend's enthusiasm somehow not jumping to her. She felt more like turning around, heading back down those damn stairs and straight out of the building, felt like running across the campus and the city only to be far far away from this university; far away from him.  
  
She didn't know what had gotten into her in the first place. Why was she here at all? Why was she combing this dormitory as if her life depended on it? Why was she about to make a complete fool out of herself? Yukari had put something in her drink, that was for sure. That was the only explanation she could find – and if she kept telling it to herself, she would maybe actually believe it.  
  
"Looks good," Yukari declared with a satisfied smirk when Hitomi reached the top of the stairs, a light-flooded hallway lying directly ahead.  
  
Various doors were hemming it, quiet music and muffled conversations penetrating the first one on the right. Hitomi took a few careful steps ahead and when Yukari made no move to stop her but rather joined her side, quietly humming to herself, she continued her way down the hallway.  
  
"Which one is it?" she asked quietly, gaze directed to the ground and the redhead watching her out of the corners of her eyes with her hands linked behind her head.  
  
"Three meters and then, turn left," she replied and Hitomi nodded slowly, coming to a halt right in front of the dark-brown door with a golden 24 attached to it, the precious metal already tarnishing at the edges.  
  
She inhaled deeply, trying desperately to ignore the furious beating of her amok-running heart and once again wondered why for heaven's sake she was doing that! "Yukari, I --" she began, twisting her stick as if the world would crumble if she stopped doing it, but the readhead quickly interupted.  
  
"No, it was a good idea, Hitomi," she assured with a sigh of exhaustion, knowing exactly what her green-eyed friend had wanted to say. "Stop complaining and just knock, he won't bite off your head. But just in case, I'll be waiting outside...that was my good deed of the day for you. The rest of the world is still waiting."  
  
Hitomi's green eyes widened behind the sunglasses. "Wait, Yukari, you can't possibly --" the young woman interupted but the redhead only smirked, brown eyes dancing with girlish mischief.  
  
"You can't expect me to wait here and watch when you get all intimate with him," she stated with a casual shrug and put a hand over Hitomi's mouth before she could screech in protest, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. "Have fun and don't do anything I wouldn't do as well."  
  
With that said and a last warm smile, Yukari turned around and left Hitomi alone in front of the door, staring motionlessly at the old wood with her cheeks glowing red.  
  
A heavy silence was surrounding her after Yukari's footsteps had faded into the distance, even the music that had hovered in the hallway gone. Now, she was only one knock away from him. Only one knock and he would be there, chasing her heart into her throat and all coherent thoughts from her mind with his mere presence. One knock and she would forget everything she had wanted to say.  
  
_Knock and run, Hitomi!,_ a voice in her head shouted and she groaned. What was she? Thirteen years old?  
  
She couldn't count how many times she had been asking herself if that all was for real. Why would someone do things like these? Why for her? There were thousands of other women living in this city, millions of other women in this country, billions of them on this planet! Women who were a lot more beautiful than her and he just happened to be after her? How unreal was that?  
  
But when had she actually begun to care?  
  
When had she begun to be interested in him? When had she begun to search the questions that would lead her to the answers of the mysteries he seemed to arise wherever he appeared? She couldn't tell. She simply couldn't tell what he had done to once again kindle the flame of hope inside her though she had thought it had been completely extinguished, drowned in a flood of tears.  
  
But oh, how foolish to believe in everlasting love. How foolish to believe people wouldn't change. How foolish to assume that just because she loved from the bottom of her heart and with the very essence of her soul, he would do the same. Yes, how foolish she had been. Everybody had told her that love could make one grow wings but nobody had warned her how damn much it would hurt to have them ripped out in flight, nothing left to break the fall.  
  
And yet, there she was, with her head tilted backwards so to face the sky, not knowing what she was waiting for.  
  
Hitomi sighed and looked up, her blind gaze focused on the door. Maybe he wasn't there.  
  
She stopped with her hand half raised and hesitated, not continuing in order to knock but to slowly, so very slowly, take off the sunglasses that had been hiding her emerald eyes. Taking a deep breath, she ran a hand through her short hair and let them slip into the pocket of her beige capri- pants, eyes never leaving the door.  
  
The knock echoed down the empty and silent hallway and was only drowned by the roaring of blood in her ears, her other hand holding the stick tightly.  
  
Well, she could still turn around and leave, the thirteen-year-old girl inside her would dance a jig. She could still leave and pretend it never happened, pretend she never came here for him, pretend that he hadn't been on her mind for these last days.  
  
She was just about to take a step backwards when the door swung open, the hinges squeaking quietly in protest, and her breath caught in her throat.  
  
The scent of lilac was immediately filling her nostrils. "Yes?"  
  
What a strange feeling when your heart suddenly starts beating again.  
  
Hitomi blinked and let go the breath she had been holding, tilting her head slightly to the side with a frown on her features. That wasn't the voice she had been expecting to hear. She should just quit trusting Yukari concerning matters of navigation. But who cared about directions anyway?  
  
"I'm sorry, I made a mistake about the room," Hitomi apologized with her eyes directed to the ground, avoiding to look up at the stranger in front of her.  
  
"No, wait," the young woman in the doorway replied, stopping Hitomi's attempt to leave and ran a hand through her sparkling, blond tresses that curled all the way down to her shoulderblades and reflected the sunlight that fell through a window behind her. Her eyes were watching Hitomi with open curiosity, sparkling, pure amethysts framed by long and darkened lashes. "Do you want to speak with Dilandau maybe?"  
  
And as if on command, her heart skipped a beat again like a horse that suddenly jumped into gallop, remembering his words in the car. "No, actually I wanted to speak with his roommate, Van," she countered quietly in order to hide the shaking of her voice. "Is he in there?"  
  
"Van?!" the blonde woman echoed in mild surprise and Hitomi could hear her eyebrows rise, feeling slightly uncomfortable. "Now, that's a surprise. Who are you?"  
  
"My name is Hitomi but --" she began to explain, though not coming to finish.  
  
"Ah, so you are the one who turned him in a puberting school-boy," the violet-eyed woman stated, with amusement swinging in her melodic voice and a wide smirk adorning her soft features. "I'm glad to finally get to know you."  
  
Her tone was that of someone who knew too much, way too much. "Listen," Hitomi spoke up again and rose her hands. "I don't know what you mean and I think it probably --"  
  
"Of course, you don't," she interfered again, still smiling broadly, and Hitomi sighed in surrender. "But maybe you come in first. Van's late. He should have been here quite some time ago but I think he'll be back within the next minutes."  
  
"I don't know," Hitomi murmured and twisted her stick between her fingers but the young woman in the doorframe just shook her beautiful head, uncompromisingly grabbing Hitomi's slim wrists and dragging her in.  
  
At once, a wave of new scents flooded her and she stopped right behind the door, not daring to take a step ahead. It smelled like fresh-washed clothes and wet earth, a light trace of something burnt among it.  
  
After quietly shutting the door, the young woman passed her by in a cloud of lilac and began to collect the various magazines she had been successfully scattering all across the bed of the two ones in the room that was made and in a radius of two meters around it.  
  
"Forgive me the mess," she said when picking up a bag with potato chips, unfortunately lifting it at the wrong end and spilling the content noisily across the comforter and parquet floor. She sighed and ruffled her long hair in a desperate fashion. "Van is usually a really tidy person but I leave a path of disorder wherever I go, I just can't help."  
  
"Well, actually," Hitomi replied with a smile and held up her stick, with a provokingly raised brow. "I don't care."  
  
"Right," the young woman grinned and placed the pile of magazines on the desk beside the bed that was covered with notes and opened books. "But, please, take a seat or something so that I don't feel like the most terrible host on this planet anymore."  
  
"I'd rather stand, thank you," she stated quietly, blind green eyes focused on the ground and ears pricked.  
  
The blond-haired woman nodded briefly and absently brushed some potato chips crumbs off of her white spaghetti strapped top while intently watching her guest.  
  
Hitomi was bathed in sunlight that fell through the only window in the room, painting a golden shimmering aura around her, reflections dancing across her hair as if it was made of water. Her eyes the colour of the first leaves in spring were darting nervously over the ground and her slim fingers were twisting the stick, rosy lips slightly parted. Right then, she looked as fragile as a crystal swan with her head bend down, honey-blond tresses brushing over her pale cheeks.  
  
"And you are?" she suddenly broke the silence, feeling more and more misplaced with only the noise of the conversations from the room aside and the breathing of the young woman surrounding her.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry," the startled voice of the female stranger reached her. "I'm Millerna Sarah Aston but I don't assume that Van told you anything about me, right?"  
  
Hitomi slowly shook her head, a feeling of pure unease crawling through her. She didn't like being thrown into cold water and something told her that she was just about to get soaked.  
  
"I'm his sister," Millerna finally revealed and a wave of surprise and relief washed through Hitomi, though she could not explain the latter. What had she expected her to say? "Well, not his real, blood-related sister but adoptive. Van is my adopted brother."  
  
"Oh," was everything she was able to reply, even more questions joining the ones that were evolving already around Van, as if the man was the sun of the question mark system.  
  
"Did he tell you anything at all?" the violet-eyed woman asked carefully and studied Hitomi's features with her head curiously cocked to the side like a parrot, waiting for a reaction.  
  
"No, he didn't," she replied courtly, face expressionless. "But I also didn't ask."  
  
"Well, you should," was all Millerna said, before turning around and rummaging noisily through the notes on the desk, leaving Hitomi to herself.  
  
And once again, she noticed that she actually knew nothing about him; just as he had said. She didn't knew the man who lived here. She was in the room of a stranger. But was she here to change that? Was she here to make him more than a stranger? Did she want him to be more than that?  
  
"Well then, allow me one question," Millerna spoke up after she had found what she had been searching, the desk now looking as if someone had emptied a trash-can on it. Completely ignoring the waves of serious chaos she emitted, Millerna turned her hair skillfully in a bun and tamed it with a thin, rose-coloured ribbon, a few curls escaping though. "Why are you here at all?"  
  
"Call me crazy," Hitomi sighed and a small smile stole across her lips, sunshine warming her cream-coloured cheeks and dancing over the door behind her. "But I really don't know why I'm doing all this."  
  
The corners of Millerna's full lips turned slowly upwards, revealing her pearly-white teeth. "These were exactly his words," she stated and crossed her slim arms in front of her chest, hugging herself tightly. "He's talking a lot about you, you know?!"  
  
"No, I don't," the blind woman replied in a whisper, a red hue tinting her cheeks.  
  
"Now, you know," Millerna countered with a smirk and a mischievous sparkle in her rare lilac orbs, plopping down onto a lonely easy chair that was hidden under a heap of clothes. "You're occupying his mind like nothing else before. He's even begun to mislay his psychology notes!" She gave a light laugh. "I have to thank you for the most hilarious sight ever! I swear I never..."  
  
The young woman trailed off when the muffled clinking of keys announced someone's arrival. Millerna straightened in her seat, arms linked behind her head and her brows raised in anticipation. Hitomi held her breath, her heart hammering in her ribcage, knowing exactly who was behind that oak door fighting with the keys that had decided it was a good moment to get tangled up with each other.  
  
After a more than angry grunt, the lock finally klicked softly and the door swung open, a cloud of kitchen scents swepping into the room. A frown adorned his handsome features, making him look like an annoyed, little boy, auburn eyes glaring down at the keys. He ran a tanned hand through his pitch-black hair, dishevelling it even more, before he finally looked up – and froze.  
  
She was standing in his room like a vision of heaven, her face hidden in soft shadows and her fragile form outlined by sunlight, making it seem as if she was radiating it. He felt goosebumps crawl up his arms by just looking at her. Like an angel descended from the skies.  
  
"Hitomi," he breathed.  
  
_I've never seen and there's never been   
Anything with the beauty of you  
_  
#--#  
  
Thanks to:  
  
**Niffer:** Hey there yourself!!! I'm so glad you liked it again and that it was correct!!! I feel like grinning here!! Thanks a ton!!  
  
**Kya77:** Lol, so there you go! Hope you could find out some more :P Thanks!!!  
  
**Spirit0:** grins Of course, all thanks to your bowing!!! :P Lol, you have it with the 'more intense rainbow', ne?! Mwahahahahahahaha!!!! I hope the chapter could satisfy curious little you a bit. And congrats on your blue mug...bwahaha...I laughed so hard there!!! Thanks again!!  
  
**Sailor Hope:** blushs like mad Wow, all I can say is Thank You!!!!!  
  
**snow blossoms:** Lol, so you liked it though she stood him up grins And nah, I didn't mean that Van hurt her, just that he...well, is about to change some things in her life. But hah, thanks for pointing out that mistake...it's just...must it be "Hitomi's decisions's" or "Hitomi's decision's" or what? scratchs head in confusion I didn't get that...forgive me, I'm blond sobs And hey, you know the song "Ich kenne nichts"!!!!!! So cool!!!! I love it!!! Hehe, thanks again!!!!  
  
**fireangel1621:** LOL!!! Thank you!!  
  
**SabrinaYutsuki:** bows to the floor Thank you very much!!  
  
**Sahira**: blushs Thank you!!  
  
**Avaris Sky:** Lol, life is unfair, isn't it?! :P  
  
**kawaii neko:** Lol, all you have to do is read on grins hard Thanks!!  
  
**SabineballZ:** Hey, wir reden hier von Hitomi!! Ich würd' sagen, nichts ist unmöglich!!! Und guck, ich hab' alle deine zwei Fragen beantwortet :P Ich bin gut!! Mwahahahahaha!!!! Danke!!  
  
**blonde-hitomi:** Lol, glad you liked it!!! I also think that there is a little paragraph somewhere that does forbid to send living beings :P Though I wouldn't mind getting a package like him!!! Mwahahahahahaha!!! Thankiez!!  
  
**blubb:** Mwahahahahaha, freut mich, dass es dir gefallen hat!!! Danke und 'Tschuldigung nochmal, dass ich so lange nicht geschrieben hab hoil  
  
**Sereneblaze:** Thank you and I hope your questions concerning other Esca characters is answered :P  
  
**saphir kitsune youkai girl:** Lol, no, I'm definitely not blind but thank you very much!!! grins  
  
**Sarcastic Angel:** Hehe, thank you!!!  
  
**DesolateAznVamp:** Lol, you'll see!! Thanks!!  
  
**dawnsama:** Aye, thank you!!!  
  
**raigne:** Thanks!!  
  
**ash3:** Mwahahahaha, me too!!! Thankiez!!  
  
**dreamingofflyingaway:** blushs like mad Thank you!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Esca-lover:** Hey there!!!! Glad you found my lil story and like it!! Hah, I know that Van's got quite some stalker-ish air around him but I'll try to clear that a bit in a later chapter. And hey, I don't know what you thought I meant with the line but I definitely did not mean it to sound like that (...did that sentence here make any sense at all???)!!! But thanks for pointing it out!!! And lol, I'd like to stand in line for a rainbow as well sighs Thank you!!! P.S. I'm sooooooooo happy you updated again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**jaguar-kally7:** Lol, how would a rainbow feel like but that?? :P Thanks!!  
  
**angelwings1:** blushs Thankiez!!!!  
  
**Akari Kou:** Yup, I'm native speaker :P Und es macht mir nichts aus, wenn du nicht in Englisch schreibst, lol. Freut mich, dass es dir so gut gefällt und es wird noch recht tief werden, keine Angst!! Vielen Dank!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Lil-Sun-Rie:** blushs Thank you!! And hah, it was a good beginning then; I got you hooked!!! Mwahahahaha!!!!  
  
**iwakura.lain:** Thanks!!  
  
**f-zelda:** Lol, don't worry, I didn't forget about his past. It'll soon be all revealed!! Thanks!!  
  
**A/N:** Hey there, I'm back!!! I know that there didn't happen anything at all in this chapter but I had to prepare a bit!!  
  
**And I wanted to say goodbye to someone. This is a goodbye to Ryuu Angel who's leaving ff.net as a writer: Hey there, my pirate!! Just wanted to tell you that I understand your reasons and I'm glad you stay to read and review (if you have the time that is :P). You did grow up a lot within this one year that I had the rainbowish pleasure to know you!! But I don't know if ff.net was all that good for you coz you'll probably never get rid of me ever again!!!!!!!!! Mwahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Let's hope so!! grins that her skull splits May you find what you're searching for!!!  
  
**Well then, til next chapter!!  
  
Dariel 


	5. Silently seeking salvation

**Five. Silently seeking salvation  
#I once stopped believing#  
**  
He was staring at her, her blind gaze focused on the ground and only their shallow breathing audible in the silence he had created with entering the dorm room. Dust danced along slim fingers of sunlight that were cutting the air, lightning up every now and then like fireflies. It only lasted for mere seconds.  
  
"What's the matter, Van?" a bubbly voice called from behind his broad back, Merle unmistakably following in his wake. "You're blocking the door if you haven't noticed, you dork! Something not supposed to befall my innocent eyes? Let me see! Did you surprise someone doing it – oh!"  
  
Poking her pink-haired head around Van's unmoving form, a grin spread across Merle's features that made her look like the Cheshire Cat when she spotted the two women.  
  
"Didn't know you were that kind of guy," she drawled with a smirk and stabbed a finger in his firm chest, before shoving the young man uncompromisingly out of her way. Van blinked and slightly blushed at her words, his auburn gaze however darting back to Hitomi.  
  
With a squeal, Merle flung her arms around Millerna, hugging the blond- haired woman until she begged for breath. "Millerna, I haven't seen you in ages!" she exclaimed joyfully and a mischievous sparkle entered her eyes. "Let's go for a walk, I know there is so much we have to tell each other!"  
  
"Yes, so much has changed since we last saw each other, only one week ago," Millerna replied just as cheerfully and with just as much faked surprise in her voice, her violet orbs catching Van's deathly glare. She just smirked.  
  
Merle sauntered at Hitomi's side, cocking her head to the side to watch the young woman who was still staring at the ground, obviously majoring in resembling a statue. "It was nice to meet you again, Hitomi," she smiled broadly, hands innocently linked behind her back while rocking back and forth on her heels.  
  
"Likewise," Hitomi mumbled and Merle headed happily for the door.  
  
"Until next time," Millerna chirped when she joined Merle, an expression on both of their faces that scared Van.  
  
Passing him by, Merle pretended to take rose petals out of an imaginary basket and to throw them exaggeratedly around while Millerna was striding slowly behind her, in the graceful pace of a bride who was holding a flower bouquet.  
  
There was a glint of an incoming rampage flickering in Van's eyes. He knew they were humming the wedding march in their thoughts as well as they knew that he was ripping their heads off in his ones. Oh sweet mental communication.  
  
Millerna planted a soft kiss on his cheek, before she left, whispering into his ear, "You can thank us later." It was a pure miracle that her head hadn't already been split in half by the huge grin on her features.  
  
Needless to say that she hurried out of the room with a shriek when his malicious hand quickly reached out for her, slamming the door shut between herself and Van's wrath.  
  
With them both gone, an all too familiar silence filled the room once more.  
  
"Well," Van finally spoke up, his voice quiet and soft so not to chase away the shy deer that stood in his room. She looked as about to run off without any warning and a smile spread across his face, knowing her trapped. "Frankly speaking, I didn't expect you to come here."  
  
Well, frankly thinking, she hadn't expected herself to come there either.  
  
"What are you doing here?" he questioned and casually leaned against the door behind him, with his arms crossed in front of his chest and the smile widening.  
  
Good question indeed. Standing in the room of a stranger, frozen stiff and making a complete fool out of herself maybe?  
  
Oh what, for heaven's sake, had she been thinking of? No, wait! That was the wrong question to ask for she hadn't been thinking _anything at all_! It was all Yukari's fault. The woman had the ability to lure her into everything with that damn psychologist's voice of hers! By the gods, she was in his room! In the room of the man who had kissed her just a few days ago, the remembrance still so fresh that it made a soft blush tint her cheeks. And she was alone with him.  
  
She had to get out of there. She had known that it had been a mistake, by the moment the kitchen scents that had surrounded him had washed over her senses. She should have never gone there. She should have never considered meeting him again. She should have never allowed him to burn his very being into her mind. She should have simply forgotten him. Him, his voice, his laughter, his nervous antics, his lips.  
  
She knew that if she hadn't come here, he would have never tried to contact her again. She knew that it had been his last desperate attempt. It would have been so much easier if she had just stopped thinking about him.  
  
"Hitomi, about that --" he started again, waking her from her thoughts and she rapidly blinked her restlessly moving eyes.  
  
"I have to go," Hitomi interupted him quickly, probably not even noticing that he had said anything at all, moving the stick she was holding so tightly already around in search for the way out.  
  
A look of confusion crossed Van's face at her words and his brows knitted in a frown. Instinctively, he took a step to the side and blocked the door completely, watching the young woman grope her way towards him. "You can't just leave like that," he stated, not able to hide the slight trace of annoyance in his tone.  
  
"Yes, I can," she replied just as angrily but sighed when her stick tapped against his foot, directing her gaze at the ground. "Look, I promised my mom to help her out a bit and she probably waiting right now. Plus, I promised an old friend to meet her this afternoon, so I don't have much time at all. Please, let me out."  
  
"What did you want here?" he asked once more, completely ignoring her.  
  
Her lips were pressed to a thin line and her knuckles stuck out white for she was grasping her stick almost desperately. She couldn't answer that question. She didn't want to answer it. She didn't even want to think about an answer. She was afraid; afraid of what her answer would reveal.  
  
"You don't just come here and talk to Millerna only to walk out on me," Van continued, something briefly flickering in his eyes that was gone too fast to put it in words. "Did she tell you something? Is that the reason why you practically run from me?"  
  
"No, she only told me that she was your adoptive sister, nothing more," she answered and raised her head, though averting her eyes. "And I'm not running from you!"  
  
_Liar!,_ a voice shouted in her head but she locked it in the farthest corner of her mind, feeling the urge to get a whole closet to block the door just to be sure.  
  
"Then why? Why are you leaving?" the young man questioned and spread his arms in despair. "I think you know quite well that I won't step out of your way without getting an answer."  
  
Hitomi's eyes quickly darted up to glare at his towering form. That damn arrogant man with his stupid male strength. She knew she was dirctly looking in his eyes and she knew he was grinning.  
  
Her heart was hammering in her ribcage and she feared he could hear it in the silence of the room. She wanted nothing but to leave this room, leave him and his fresh scent that seemed to be everywhere around her.  
  
"I don't feel comfortable here, okay? Satisfied?" she finally blurted out, her cheeks slowly heating up. And it wasn't even a lie. "This is your room and not mine. It's unfamiliar. The furnitures are different and the sounds are different. It smells different."  
  
_It smells like him_.  
  
How did that stupid voice escape its high-security prison? Hitomi hastily turned away from Van, hiding her suddenly glowing cheeks behind wheat- coloured tresses. It wasn't as if she begged for anything impossible, she just wanted to get out of this room!  
  
"Hitomi," Van said softly and a sudden chill ran down her spine. "I don't intend to force you to anything nor do I want you to think me a stalker, though I assume I failed at the latter." He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "You know, this last thing I did was actually my last attempt and I wouldn't have pestered you anymore if you hadn't done something like...well, like coming here, for example."  
  
Hitomi bit her lip and inhaled deeply.  
  
"If you had told me to leave you alone, I would have obeyed without any contradiction and you would have never seen me ever again," he continued quietly and she could feel him lean down, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. "But you never did. Not with any syllable."  
  
When she breathed in, this time, it was shaky and a tiny smile tugged at the corners of Van's lips.  
  
He was right. He was right with every word. She had never said that she didn't want him in her life, that she didn't want to meet him again, that she actually didn't want to be kissed by him. She swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to fight down the rising heat in her throat, avoiding to justify her behavior to herself.  
  
"Street of the Fortunate 14," she pressed out, trying to burn a hole through the floor with her eyes, and he frowned. "It's a street in Adon. You know, this little village on the southern outskirts of Fanelia."  
  
Van leaned back, staring at her in wonder. "What...?" he began but she quickly interupted him.  
  
"I'll be there for the whole afternoon from three thirty on," Hitomi explained and unconsciously twisted her stick. "Let me out, now."  
  
Van wore the expression of someone who had just been told that the world was flat, pondering if he should doubt his sanity or if he should just wait for the ceiling to crash down on him.  
  
"What?" Hitomi barked when Van made no move to reply. "Still not satisfied? What else do you want to know? To which highschool I went? The time when I usually go to bed? My blood group maybe?"  
  
A wide grin spread across his features when he saw the angry gleam in her eyes, and swiftly opened the door. "No, thank you," he stated and bowed deeply, still unable to wipe the smirk off of his face. "For now, I'm happy."  
  
She could hardly stop herself from snarling at him and walked out of the room, the faint music that was hovering in the hallway surrounding her once more.  
  
"Until I see you in the afternoon," Van's voice followed her down her way and she just quickened her steps, her lips jerking briefly upwards but she quickly fought it down. Of course, she did not reply.  
  
And just when she had left the building and Yukari's cheerful voice was all around her again, making her think that there had to be, at least, ten redheads, just then did she notice that she hadn't said the words yet again. What was wrong with her?  
  
_ I've never met someone so beautiful   
From your hair follicle to your fingernail cuticle   
Struck by the arrow of Cupid, this love is deep-rooted   
Like someone took my heart, sampled it and looped it   
To a song that's endless_  
  
** #--#  
**  
Adjusting her sunglasses, Yukari Uchida stepped out of a more than full bus, after surviving a more than horrible ride, entering the sidewalks of the center of Fanelia. Who could have known how many people would fit in this stupid bus? Well, now she knew though she could have lived perfectly fine without getting to know it.  
  
Taking a deep breath, she decided that she rather inhaled the exhaust fumes of a bus than the ones of a sweating human being. If she should ever become mayor of this city, she would equip every goddam bus with air-conditioning, that was for sure. But assuming that she was the mayor, she wouldn't need to go by bus at all. She sighed; that was what she called motivation.  
  
She continued to fight her way through the crowds on the sidewalks, spotting her destination already above the bald head of a small man a bit in front of her. _Mole Man's Second-Hand Shop_. A huge grin spread across her features by looking at the nameplate that dangled over the street like the one of a smith hundreds of years ago.  
  
Yukari stopped in front of the shop window of a small boutique, a man in a grey suit and a tiny cell phone pressed to his ear bumping into her. Wow, one had to be careful to not breathe them in, one day. The young woman smoothed out a fold in her skirt and straightened her stubborn, red hair, before flashing her reflection a toothy grin and making the clerk behind the window raise her brows.  
  
Yukari Uchida was ready to hunt.  
  
A tiny bell rang when she pushed open the heavy doors of the shop and she snatched a glance at the young man behind the counter, before diving into the aisles between innumerable rows of clothing. A grin had crossed his features by spotting her.  
  
She smiled to herself and reached for a red top, only to rummage through another heap of clothing and choose a blue one with short sleeves. Glancing her bait over again, a mischievous sparkle entered her eyes and she catwalked over to the counter, gaze set on her prey.  
  
Spotting out of the corners of her eyes the young woman who was striding determinedly towards the brown-haired man behind the counter with a pearly- white smile on her face, Yukari immediately quickened her pace, anger flashing across her features. Right before her enemy could touch the table with her perfectly manicured fingers, the redhead slammed her ware down on it. She won. She had just marked her territory.  
  
Flashing the scowling brunette beside her a smile that said more than any spoken word could ever do, she turned back to the young man whose nameplate identified him as Amano.  
  
"Hi," Yukari spoke up and brushed a red strand out of her face though it hadn't even bothered her at all.  
  
"Hey," Amano replied and bit down a smile, pointing down at the tops. "These two, today? Your closet must be pretty big."  
  
The redhead snatched the pieces of clothing away before he could grab them, flashing him another brilliant smile. Of course, she had noticed at where he had aimed. "Well, actually I wanted to ask you if I should buy this red one although I think it doesn't match the colour of my hair but it has such a nice neckline. Or should I better buy this one because it emphazises my teint?"  
  
"Well," the young man drawled and leaned onto the counter, a smug smirk playing across his lips. "Maybe you buy the one that matchs the skirt you bought after I said I liked it, two days ago."  
  
The smirk on Yukari's features resembled Amano's one and she leaned onto the counter as well. "So, you remember me?" she questioned, looking directly into his brown eyes.  
  
"How could I not remember you?" he countered with a casual shrug. "You're probably our best customer."  
  
A voice in Yukari's head screamed, _Victory!_ Oh why was there no such Olympic kind of sport like flirting? Without being conceited but she would be champion. That was a fact.  
  
"Probably," she grinned widely. "And I should get a reward, don't you think? A nice little reward for this oh so unselfish deed of mine. Maybe you could - ?"  
  
"What was that?" Amano questioned and leaned closer to her, probably also hearing what had made her trail off.  
  
Yes, what was that? Yukari straightened and pricked her ears. If she wasn't completely mistaken and if her senses weren't trying to fool her she would say it sounded like farting. And it was coming out of her purse.  
  
O-kay.  
  
"Does your purse suffer from indigestion or something?" Amano questioned in amusement and a blush crept over Yukari's features. "I know someone who could help you in case it's serious."  
  
"I..." she began but trailed off again, opening her purse and searching for the source of the embarressing noise.  
  
"Ah, I see, your cell phone is sick," the young man chuckled when Yukari pulled it out of her purse, a look of pure confusion on her face.  
  
Her cell phone was farting. It was ringing. She did not chose for farting as her ring tone.  
  
"Mamoru," she hissed through gritted teeth and the cell phone cracked dangerously when her hands closed mercilessly around it. "This unsufferable, spoiled, underhanded and lousy little brat! I'll make him suffer like never before that he wishs to burn in the depths of hell when I should ever -"  
  
"Don't you want to know who's calling?" Amano asked with a bemused grin at Yukari's muttering and she flashed him a seething glare, making him raise his arms in defence.  
  
"Hello?" she barked, pressing her cell phone to her ear. Mamoru would die, nevertheless.  
  
"Where is she?" a male voice reached her ear that wasn't a single bit less annoyed.  
  
"Who's there?" Yukari replied, frowning in confusion but though able to block the way of the next customer who was trying to push past her. It was an instinct. She was defending her territory.  
  
"Well, let me tell you where she is _not_," the deep voice continued, sarcasm joining the anger.  
  
"Hey, listen!" the redhead countered irritatedly, her eyes narrowed. "I don't know your problem but I don't care, okay?! You can't just dial a number and bark at a stranger...well, you can as long as it's not me who you're bothering! Go search for someone else to -"  
  
"Hitomi is not in Adon."  
  
Yukari blinked and her brows rose in sudden realization. "Van, is that you?"  
  
Van Fanel stood on a dusty road beside his black car, the epitome of a scowl on his features. "No, Santa Claus," he snarled in reply and kicked a stone with his foot, scaring the living lights out of a group of chickens that had been peacefully pecking the ground.  
  
"Ah, well then," Yukari stated and tapped her index finger against her cheek. "You know, I'm a good girl and I always wanted to have this beautiful little chain with the -"  
  
"Yukari!" Van exploded and the redhead immediately held the cell phone away from her ear, a pained expression on her face.  
  
"Okay okay, I get it," she replied carefully and roled her eyes, mouthing 'friend' when she spotted Amano looking at her with questioningly raised brows. "But you could have just told me that you can't take a joke. Would have saved me from serious eardrum bursting."  
  
"Don't tempt me," he growled and stuffed his left hand in the pocket of his pants, glancing at his car that was covered with a layer of yellowish dust. He didn't dare to lean against it in fear it could crumble to pieces; the thing was probably older than him.  
  
"I wouldn't dare!" Yukari replied with faked indignation and put her hand to her heart. "What happened?"  
  
"What happened?" Van snorted and frustratedly ran a hand through his hair. "Well, your little friend gave a quite impressive show here. She pulled the dirtiest trick ever on me. I have never been outwitted like that."  
  
"Complete and coherent sentences, please," the redhead sighed.  
  
"As you maybe already know, Hitomi visited me, today," the young man began and looked up into the deep blue sky, squinting his eyes against the intense sunlight. "And before running from me once again, she told me where I could meet her this afternoon."  
  
"She did what?" Yukari sputtered. "And you're sure that we're speaking about the same Hitomi Kanzaki? Blind? Green eyes? Terribly afraid of falling in love?"  
  
"Well, yes," Van replied matter-of-factly. "Right now, I'm where she told me I could meet her."  
  
"And?" she questioned with a careless shrug.  
  
Van looked around with a dry expression adorning his features, as if that was enough to answer the question. But then again, it probably was.  
  
Adon was one of the innumerable farming estates that were surrounding Fanelia in a wide circle and where time had stopped a long time ago. A handful of farms was hemming the road that went right through the small village, a road that was not asphalted. The flimmering warm air was impregnated with the scents of dry and sunlit grain and muck heaps, the noises of horses and cows coming from out of huge barns.  
  
An ocean of golden shimmering ears was swepping against the farms, reaching as far as the eye could see, the slim plants moving softly in the light summer breeze which caused waves to run over the fields. Van slowly turned around but all he saw were fields. Fields that merged into a soft blue at the horizon, the skyline of Fanelia towering above the surface of grain fields like sharp rocks above the sea.  
  
"She told me she would be in 14, Street of the Fortunate in Adon," he finally stated flatly. "She's not here. There isn't even a Street of the Fortunate here. Actually, there is only _one_ road going through this bunch of houses."  
  
"How can you be sure that she's not there?" Yukari asked, biting her lip to keep herself from bursting out laughing. "Maybe she's just hiding?"  
  
He knew that she was mocking him. "I already asked everybody around here if they knew her and I got to know that there are more cows living in this village than human beings," Van answered and Yukari covered her mouth with her hand to stiffle the giggles.  
  
"Oh, Van," she replied in sympathy, a smile lingering on her lips. "But you have to admit that she's quite imaginative."  
  
"Yeah, nobody can beat her in driving me off," he muttered and angrily waved his free hand to scare away a cheeky chicken that had landed on the hood of his car, cursing under his breath when it left a nice little package for him. Black went so well with white. "Doesn't she get a head- ache from all this thinking of ways-to-get-rid-of-Van?"  
  
"She doesn't get any head-aches, Van. She causes them," Yukari said with a voice that indicated that she spoke from experience. "But you're not giving up, are you?"  
  
"And leave her laughing last?" he snorted. "Not even when hell is freezing over. Where is she?"  
  
"She's going to kill me when she finds out I gave you my number behind her back," the redhead stated and drew circles on the counter with her finger.  
  
"You're not afraid of her, are you?" Van asked with a mischievous glint in his auburn eyes.  
  
"I'm not!" she exclaimed vividly and Van couldn't hide the smirk any longer. "It's just that I already have so many bruises from her hitting."  
  
"Tell me where I can find her."  
  
**#--#  
**  
"You're so quiet, Hitomi," a soft but old voice spoke up, sore and tired from already speaking for so many years. "Is something bothering you?"  
  
The young woman blinked a few times, her blind eyes dry from staring into nothing for so long, and unconsciously tightened the grip around the arm of the old woman who was walking beside her. "No, it's nothing," she replied and softly shook her head, the sun warming her face.  
  
"You're not wearing your sunglasses anymore," the old woman continued and brushed a grey curl out of her face, a sparkle in her wise brown eyes.  
  
"I...," Hitomi began but stopped when her heart skipped a beat. "I only forgot them at home. No need to smirk like that, Marissa."  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about," she replied and tried to fight down the smile that was tugging at the corners of her wrinkled lips, slipping her arm out of Hitomi's embrace. "Look, the roses are blooming."  
  
They were in a beautiful garden that was hidden between willows and ginkos, a symphony of colours and scents playing within the halfshadows under sunkissed leaves. Reflections of sunlight were twinkling between the old trunks, a small pond luring dragonflies with their fragile bodies shimmering like coloured metal. Soft noises were hovering in the air, people who were also taking a walk talking quietly to each other.  
  
"I know," Hitomi whispered and her stick tapped carefully over the paved way. "I can smell them."  
  
Marissa watched silently when the young woman slowly stretched out her hand and reached for the flowers which seemed to come to life whenever a light breeze rustled past them. Her hand jerked briefly when a pointed leaf touched her palm and her fingers ran gently over the velvety petals.  
  
It was when a pink sparkle caught her attention, her eyes searching Hitomi's neck.  
  
"You've still got Maaya's necklace," she said with a sad smile and Hitomi nodded slowly, reaching up to clasp the tear-shaped gem.  
  
"Yes, I never take it off," the blind woman replied and absently rolled the rose-coloured stone between her sensitive fingers. "It reminds me of her. It's like she's always with me."  
  
"I can't believe it's already been a year," Marissa stated and glanced around, her eyes glistening. "Hitomi, I can't express how thankful I am that you still come here although there is actually no reason for you to do so. You're everything I have left."  
  
"Marissa, stop talking such nonsense," Hitomi countered and narrowed her eyes. "You were grandmother's best friend! You are one of my best friends! It's not that you force me to come here or anything! This isn't a burden! I want to be here and spend time with you! Now, stop it! You know how much I hate to become sentimental!"  
  
Deep wrinkles appeared around Marissa's mouth when she smiled. "I'm sorry," she said with a wink and grabbed Hitomi's slim hand. "Let's go back inside. I heard there was delicious cake and coffee."  
  
The grass gave softly under their bare feet when they walked across the lawn that connected the garden with a huge building, the façade shining a blinding white and innumerable windows reflecting the sunlight.  
  
"Are you happy here?" Hitomi questioned quietly, her voice wavering, unsure.  
  
Marissa gave a laugh. "Yes," she laughed. "I can't believe it but yes, I truly am happy. When I heard 'old people's home' I thought I would die but it was the best solution. With them all gone I had nobody to care for me and nobody to talk to but here..." She smiled again. "Here, I have to flee to the garden to escape all the talking, at least for a few minutes."  
  
Hitomi grinned. "Good."  
  
The voices around them grew louder when they neared the terrace that was shaded by huge umbrellas, almost all chairs already occupied by discussing people.  
  
"And there is really nothing bothering you?" Marissa asked again when they entered the terrace, rough plates warming the soles of their feet.  
  
"Yes, everything alright," Hitomi replied, her green eyes looking at everything but the smiling, old woman.  
  
"Fine," she said and shoved Hitomi softly towards the entrance of the building. "Then, go get our shoes while I'll see if I can find two empty seats for us."  
  
Hitomi's stick tapped noisily over the ground and she smiled when she suddenly felt the cold of the tiles seep into her feet that were covering the floor of the entrance hall, the soft noise her footsteps reveberating from the walls. The air-conditioned inside of the building caused goosebumps on her skin for she was actually used to the warmth outside.  
  
The feeling changed when the scent of warm grain and rainshowers washed over her, something inside her twisting.  
  
"Where are you headed, Hitomi?"  
  
_Passion brings the tempest  
I'll slay a thousand dragons to save my little princess   
A walking gift from God, you are my shining star   
The diamonds and gold that most men be mining for  
_  
She was frozen to the spot, her eyes wide and the little colour that usually adorned her cheeks draining from her face. It was that one voice that haunted her thoughts, that voice she had tried so hard to ban from her mind. There wasn't even an echo. Only five words that had her heart hammering in her chest that she thought it would simply break her ribs. "Van..."  
  
"Surprised?" he replied in feigned confusion and stepped in front of her with his arms linked behind his head, his looming presence almost suffocating her. "You sound surprised where there is no need to for we were actually arranged to meet, weren't we? Don't tell me you forgot."  
  
His every word was dripping with sarcasm and she carefully took a step backwards, her eyes darting over the ground. "Van, I..." she began with her voice shaking, but trailed off, swallowing her words.  
  
"What?" he continued casually, his dark brows raised. "You didn't expect me here? Should I actually be somewhere else maybe? Somewhere farther away from here?"  
  
He was angry and frustrated, his voice ever so slowly becoming louder, and she knew exactly why. She pressed her lips to a thin line and remained silent and motionless, hoping that the storm would just run over her and leave her unharmed.  
  
"Well, when you're not going to say anything I might as well apologize for my lateness," Van stated and slightly bowed his head, his auburn eyes watching her like eyes of a hawk, ready to nose-dive for his prey. "I'm very sorry but the address you gave me was _unfortunately_ wrong. You probably didn't know it. There were nothing but fields and chicken that hated me in Adon. You probably didn't know that as well. Why would you send me intentionally to Adon, right?"  
  
Hitomi swallowed again and grasped her stick tightly. "What are you doing here?" she asked quietly. "How...?"  
  
"How did I get to know the right address, you ask?" he interfered and gave a loud laugh, Hitomi instantly stiffening when she felt his hands rest on her bare shoulders, his warmth seeping into her. "Gods, Hitomi! When you want me to back off, just tell me but, please, stop playing these games."  
  
Angrily, she shrugged off his hands, the cold air that surrounded her again making her shiver. "I don't play any games," she hissed and the young man sighed.  
  
"Whatever you say," Van murmured and glanced at the opened double doors that led out onto the terrace. "But when I'm already here, do you care for a walk?"  
  
Hitomi's blind eyes stared at the ground as if the solution for everything could be found there, only to wordlessly turn around and head for the door. She felt Van join her side, his clothes rustling softly with every step he took.  
  
She jerked when a warm hand was suddenly placed on her arm, a familiar voice whispering in her ear. "I see, this is what you call nothing," Marissa chuckled who had been watching and waiting for them to enter the terrace. She winked at a surprised Van and was gone again before Hitomi could hiss a reply.  
  
Her cheeks slightly reddened, she stalked across the lawn and soon found herself wrapped in the scent of roses again. The silence that surrounded them unnerved her and she angrily plucked a poor rose bloom that unfortunately had come across the way of her hands, feeling his eyes on her.  
  
"You're pretty unforgiving, you know," she grumbled and Van raised a dark brow, turning his gaze away from her with his lips curling into a smile.  
  
"Are you talking with me?" he countered lazily, watching the sun twinkle through the foliage that was spanned above them like a huge umbrella.  
  
"No, I'm talking with the roses," Hitomi snapped, plucking two petals at once and Van grinned, watching her out of the corners of his eyes. "Why would I want to talk with you at all?"  
  
"Okay, I just wanted to be sure," the raven-haired man replied casually and shrugged, turning his back to her.  
  
"I mean 'You only get to know the weight of a word when you keep it'," she mimicked after a moment of silence and plucked the last remaining petal, a grin spreading across Van's features that reached from one ear to the other one. "Don't you think that you're exaggerating?"  
  
"Exaggerating or not," he drawled and turned to face her back. "It did work, didn't it?!"  
  
She whirled around, angry green eyes flashing at him. "What are you implying?" she barked and threw her hands up in frustration. "What are you intending at all? Why are you doing all that? Why are you feeling such a sadistic joy in driving me crazy?"  
  
His deep laughter filled the air and he quickly raised his hands. "Now, you're exaggerating," Van stated but Hitomi only kept staring at him.  
  
"Why?" she repeated quietly and he sighed.  
  
Closing his eyes, he inhaled deeply before he spoke. "Do you believe in love at first sight?" he questioned in a whisper and Hitomi's delicate brows shot up.  
  
"You must be kidding me," she replied and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I'm blind, remember?"  
  
Van cracked open an eye, an annoyed flicker crossing the auburn depth. "Do me a favour and forget for once that you're blind!" he countered and a sudden breeze ruffled through his pitch-black hair. "This is not only about looks! There is so much more to it! Do you know this feeling of restlessness? This feeling that there has to be more? That there has to be something you cannot describe and cannot put into words?"  
  
Hitomi didn't reply. She only stared at the ground where patterns of soft shadows were dancing over the grass. He just shook his head.  
  
"And suddenly it's gone," he continued quietly. "You suddenly feel calm and at peace and you can't explain it but you just know that you found what you have been searching for all the time. You want to believe that everything that happened, happened with purpose. You want to believe that there is a sense in everything. And by being close to that one person you get the feeling of..." he trailed off and looked up at her, his eyes searching her blind ones. "...the feeling of belonging."  
  
_You found what you have been searching for_.  
  
Her mouth was slightly agape, her breathing fast. She felt cold although this day was one of the warmest ones of the year so far and she rubbed her arms, hoping to be able to chase away the numb feeling.  
  
Hitomi hugged herself tighter when she felt him slowly approach. "Hitomi, I -" he began but broke off when she raised her hands to stop him and clumsily grasped his wrist before he could touch her.  
  
The wind around them died down and they just stood there, eyes wide.  
  
Van tilted his head backwards and squeezed his eyes shut, feeling her fingers run gently over the sensitive underside of his forearm. He had tried to ignore it. He had thought if he ignored it, it would just disappear, all disappear. But after all these years, it was still there. And it would always be. It would always be there.  
  
"Van, what is that?" Hitomi whispered and Van inhaled sharply, her fingertips tracing his skin.  
  
"I already told you, it's nothing," he replied flatly and wrested his arm almost violantly out of her grip, turning away.  
  
"Nothing?" she echoed and laughed humorlessly. "I'm not stupid, Van. These were scars, I could feel them."  
  
Van stared down at his forearms, stared at the fine white lines that were quite a contrast to his tanned skin so to always remember him. As if he didn't knew. Scars. Scars that would forever mark him. He closed his eyes and desperately ran his hands through his hair.  
  
"Is it because of drugs?" Hitomi questioned and her voice was as cold as ice, making him turn around with his eyes narrowed.  
  
"What?" he replied dumbfoundedly, his brows knitted in confusion.  
  
"I was asking if your arms were in this state because you're taking drugs," she repeated angrily and Van gave a sudden laugh. It was a cold laugh that made her shiver. "Do you think this is funny? Do you think you have the right to laugh at me?"  
  
Her voice was sharp, slicing through the air, and his laughter quickly subsided. "No, Hitomi, you don't understand...," he began, trying to stop her from pulling up the walls around her but she didn't even let him time to take a breath.  
  
"No, I understand perfectly fine! I'm blind, not deaf, and you're just like everyone else!" Hitomi spat and a cold smile crossed her lips. "I thought you were different but oh, no surprise, I was wrong again! Just because she's blind, you don't need to tell the naïve, little girl for hey, she can't see the scars, right?!"  
  
"Hitomi, listen to me!" Van barked, drowning her own angry voice and she narrowed her eyes.  
  
"I've already been listening too much!" she hissed in reply, before he could continue. "I've let you wrap me in your lies so you could play your little games with me! And you know what? I'm sick of it! You wanted me to tell you to back off? Fine! Leave me alone and stay the hell out of my life!"  
  
His eyes widened briefly and for a second, hurt flickered within his boundless orbs, but was quickly overcome by rage. With his fists clenched at his sides, he watched her walk off, shadows dancing over her retreating back.  
  
"Wait!" he yelled and took after her without hesitating.  
  
Hitomi didn't hear the noise of soft but fast footsteps coming after her over the grass, she was too busy with angrily blinking the tears away that stubbornly gathered in the corners of her eyes. It's been so long since she last cried and she wouldn't waste her tears on him. He didn't deserve them.  
  
She was halfway across the lawn when he caught up with her, his hands holding her shoulders in a strong but not painful grip and his heavy breathing was roaring in her ears. The scent of wide fields that had surrounded him like a cloak was now wrapped around her as well, indicating just how close he was.  
  
"You said you would stay away from me if I told you to do so!" she snarled, averting her glistening eye, and tried to wind out of his grip but only succeded in making him tightened it.  
  
"I will, don't worry," Van replied in a calm voice and Hitomi knew it was more dangerous than having him yell. At least, then she knew what to expect; barking dogs don't bite. "In contrast to other people I know, I do keep my word."  
  
Her head snapped up and seething green eyes burned right into his ones. "I'll leave you alone as soon as you let me explain," he continued flatly and stared right back at her, his eyes shaded by strands of raven-black hair. "You don't accuse me of taking drugs and lying and then, run away again! You want to know the truth? Then, stay and listen, dammit!"  
  
Hitomi averted her eyes again, her shoulders sagging in surrender.  
  
"I was fourteen," he continued without waiting for a reply, knowing that he had won. "I was in school when the police officer came to take me from my classes and brought me to the hospital. Did you ever hear of a truck crashing into the end of a tailback?"  
  
Hitomi nodded mutely and he slowly released his grip on her shoulders, the young woman immediately hugging herself, taking a step away from him.  
  
"That's what they said had happened to my parents and my brother." Van's voice was no more than a whisper, his eyes directed to the ground where he absently watched a bee crawl over a fragile, yellow bloom. "They were on their way back home from Folken's college. They had went to fetch him because he would have stayed at home over the holidays. And one damn kilometer before they would have left the highway, there had been a traffic jam.  
  
"Gods, how can you just fail to notice something like that?" he exclaimed and tilted his head so to face the sky, eyes closed. "The truck hit them and shoved them right into the rear of another one. The car was completely crushed between the trucks and my parents didn't have any chance at all. I was told that it happened so fast that they didn't feel anything.  
  
"My brother survived the impact and I waited for two hours in the hospital until a doctor came. He was stained with blood and I just knew that it was Folken's as well as I knew that he didn't make it. The man began to rant about how sorry he was and that they had tried everything to keep him alive but I didn't listen." The young man gave a laugh that made Hitomi jerk violantly, sounding foreign among the peaceful noises around her.  
  
"I was so angry," he whispered with a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "I was angry at them for leaving me. Angry for leaving _without_ me. I wanted to yell at them, scream at them, but they were gone.  
  
"We've never been a big family with my mother being an only child and my father having only one sibling, my uncle Vargas. His wife had died when giving birth to their daughter who also hadn't survived child-birth when I was four. Vargas died of cancer only a few years later."  
  
"V-Van, I..." it was the first time that Hitomi said something, since he had started to explain, and her voice was shaking.  
  
"Don't interupt me! You wanted to know so you will get to know!" he replied sharply and glared down at her. "That day, I lost my complete family. After I was told what had happened to Folken, everything blurred. I can only remember the wish of wanting to be with them and black and white tiles being covered with blood. My blood."  
  
Hitomi pressed her hand over her mouth and turned away, squeezing her eyes shut.  
  
"Pretty stupid to try to commit suicide in a hospital, isn't it?" he questioned and smiled ironically. "A nurse found me and they told me later that I only just made it through."  
  
She slowly turned to face him, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Is that pity I see in your eyes?" he questioned quietly and watched a single tear rush down her pale cheek. "Don't pity me for something which is entirely my own fault. I was such a coward and disappointed my family in every way possible. That's why I've neither been at their funeral nor ever been at their graves."  
  
"But you were -" Hitomi tried to reply despite the hoarseness of her voice but Van cut her off.  
  
"Stop racking the brains in that pretty head of yours about something you don't give a damn about!" he stated flatly and looked her over once more. "Don't think about it any longer. I just didn't want you to remember me being a liar if you remember me at all that is. Have a nice life, Hitomi Kanzaki."  
  
He didn't wait for a goodbye, knowing there would be none, and left her standing on the lawn, the sun beating down on her and the warm scent of grain still lingering in the air.  
  
Tbc...  
  
** #--#  
**  
**f-zelda:** Hey there!!!! grins I'm glad you like it and yeah, I'll explain why Hitomi's blind in a later chapter. I hope you got my email and understand my slowness sweatdrops Thanks!!!  
  
**Sereneblaze**: Lol, I'm sorry for stopping there but it would have been too long if I had continued :P And nay, I'm not going to include the whole Esca staff. Therefore the story is way too short. And I'm glad you'll live though grins Mwahahahahahaha, aye, the "weird language", as you call it, is German :P But sighs dreamily I wished I could speak so many languages!!! And don't worry, you don't seem mental at all :P I'll read your story as soon as I find the time!!! Thank you!!!!!!!  
  
**Spirit0:** Nay, nothing wrong with lone-wolfs grins See, Van is one, so there can't be something wrong about it :P blushs I'm happy you liked it!!! Aye aye!! I'm a lil surprise box :P What do you say to the chapter? Mwahahaha, hope you didn't die before you were able to read!!! Thanks for the review!!!!!!!!!!! I enjoyed it a lot!!!!  
  
**saphir kitsune youkai girl:** Ouch. Well, sorries for the cliffy but I wanted it there :P I'm glad you liked it though.  
  
**Blaque and Wight:** Aye, thankiez but uh-oh bites nails high hopes are my downfall!!! I always fear that I won't be able to fulfil them!! Just read it till the end and then, judge...hehe. But thanks!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**fireangel1621:** hides behind chair Sheesh!! C'mon, you knew I'd stop there!!!! :P Maybe the chappy is a compensation!! Thanks!!  
  
**blonde-hitomi**: bursts out laughing and falls off her chair His package!!!!! Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!! wipes tear of laughter Wouldn't mind either!!!! :P:P:P:P bursts out laughing again So, you're a matchmaker, eh?! A friend of mine tried it once and I glared daggers at her the whole evening. Hah!! And aye, your review was quite unique!!! goes to eat Van Mwahahahahahahahahaha!!! Thanks a ton!!!!!!!  
  
**SabrinaYutsuki:** blushs Thank you!!!!!  
  
**Kya77:** Thanks!! grins that her skull splits And heh, see, I answered the questions :P  
  
**kawaii neko:** coughs uneasily Ah well, sorries for that...ehe. But I'm glad you liked it!! Thanks!!!!!!  
  
**...I...:** backs slowly away Okay, now, I'm afraid...  
  
**DesolateAznVamp:** Lol, there you go!!!  
  
**Wake-Robin**: blushs beyond red Wow, thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**snow blossoms:** Aye, one of my favourite reviewers!!!!!! grins that her skull splits And I'm glad that I can make you happy!!! And hah, you like the funky chicken lines!!! Gah, I sometimes think that I bore my readers but oh well, nobody forces them to read, ne?! :P And Oo Alexander Dumas?! Oi, I think there are a lot more authors with witty convos in their stories who are a lot better than humble and unmentionworthy me!! But thanks!!!! You had me blushing like a madman there!!!! Actually, I can reply nothing but my stupid "Thank you!!!" grins shyly Thanks so much!!! P.S. Nay, you didn't bore me to tears :P  
  
**SabineballZ:** Jaja, die Liebe macht's möglich :P Fand es war langsam Zeit, dass sie sich mal ein bisschen zusammenreißt, hah! So ja, hoffe dir hat's gefallen und danke wie immer wie wild grins  
  
**Geminidragon:** grins Thanks!!!!  
  
**Sailor Hope:** blushs like mad Thank you!!!!  
  
**iwakura.lain:** Lol, there you have the big secret :P  
  
**blubb:** Lol, jaja, selbst ich kann noch überraschen mit einem "ruhigen" Kapitel :P Muss auch mal sein!! grins Und schau, hattest recht mit der Ruhe vor dem Sturm!! Mwahahaha, danke und ich versuch so bald wie möglich zurückzuschreiben!!!!  
  
**MimiGhost**: saluts Aye aye!!!! :P  
  
**Eli:** blushs Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**A/N:** There you go. Van's secret revealed. Readers happy. At least, I hope so cringes Ya know, I can't work that good with murder threats sitting in my neck. But anyways, if everything goes well and all, next chapter will be the last one. Depends on whether I get some other ideas or not. But actually, it was planned to end with the sixth one. So yeah, you'll see!! :P

And ack, I can't believe I forgot to thank Starry Eyed Wonder for the wonderful idea with the old people's home!!!! hugs her like mad I'm so sorry I forgot it!!! You helped me a lot!!! Thanks so much, woman!!!!!! weeps at your feet I'm so sorry I forgot it!!! It's not that I do it intentionally, really!!! I'm just so horribly forgetful!!!! sobs harder

Dariel 


	6. Somewhere over the rainbow

**Six. Somewhere over the rainbow  
#And I never want that to happen again#  
  
**It was as if she had lost her remaining senses as well. The sun has probably never shone brighter from a sky that looked as if someone had scattered innumerable delicate feathers across a deep-blue carpet but she couldn't feel any warmth. The air was so full of scents that one could almost feel them, the heavy scent of dry earth weaving into the sweet one of roses in an eternal pattern but she didn't smell anything. A bunch of young birds was chirping in a nest right under the roof, trying to drown each other, the noise of the cicades that sounded like the humming of a generator mixing with the rustling of leaves in the background but she didn't hear.  
  
Even the exquisite melody Yukari was playing on the piano in the living room of the Uchida's right behind her, wrapping everything in a soft embrace, sounded wrong. Hitomi knew that the redhead was playing without making any mistakes, without her fingers stumbling, without pressing the ivory keys for too long, and though it was imperfect like everything else around her.  
  
Usually she felt like hugged by magic when she listened to Yukari's playing but that day, it seemed the magic couldn't reach the place where she had decided to lock herself in. Something was missing. It was the breath that would make everything so much more alive; the one tune in Yukari's melody, the one noise among the whisper of the trees, the one scent that would complete the pattern, the one warmth that not even the sun could provide.  
  
Hitomi knew exactly what was missing but she was too proud to admit, too confused and too afraid.  
  
The last tune of an extract from Tschaikowsky's _Four Seasons_ hovered in the air as if trying to fight the silence that was to come. However it faded slowly, Yukari straightening on her stool and retracting her hands from the piano, the smooth surface sparkling like the sea at night. She turned to look at her friend who was leaning against the frame of the glass door that led out into the garden behind the house, the caramel-coloured curtains swaying softly in a light breeze.  
  
Brushing a red strand out of her face, the young woman rose and headed over to her friend, her skirt rustling quietly with her movements and her bare feet tapping softly over the parquet floor. Hitomi had her arms crossed in front of her chest, her green eyes staring blindly out at the garden. With a sigh, Yukari kneeled down and started to fondle Tiara behind her ears.  
  
"You don't look very enthusiastic," she said quietly and smiled when Tiara raised her head.  
  
"Is there any reason to?" Hitomi replied monotonuously and Yukari softly shook her head.  
  
"Well, looking at the decision you just made," the redhead began and slowly rose from the ground, watching her friend's profile while absently smoothing out her skirt. "I would say yes. Yes, there is a reason to be enthusiastic and excited. You should be pacing up and down, grinning because you will finally do what you always wanted to do and at the same time, worrying because so much will change."  
  
"I only applied for university," she whispered and turned away from Yukari, taking a few hesitant steps into the living room that was flooded with sunlight.  
  
"Yes!" Yukari exclaimed and spread her arms. "Yes, you applied for university! You're going to become a teacher for blind people! You're going to move out! Everything you tried so hard to keep it the way it was, is going to change! And you just stand here as if it doesn't mean anything to you."  
  
"It means a lot to me, Yukari," Hitomi countered and briefly gazed at her friend, only to face the floor again. "Don't you ever doubt that. I really appreciate your help but it's just that...that..." She trailed off and her shoulders sagged visibly.  
  
"Something is still missing, right?" Yukari questioned and glanced at the glass table that was placed in front of the couch, a few sheets of paper covering the tv guide. "The application documents are all done and now they are only waiting to be brought to the post office but it's still not everything you wanted. Something important is missing. Something you need to be happy but you're too afraid to admit it."  
  
"Yukari, I..." Hitomi began but didn't continue, her lips pressed together and Yukari's words reveberating within her skull.  
  
"When was the last time you laughed?" the redhead suddenly asked and Hitomi raised her head, delicate brows knitted in confusion.  
  
"What --?" she attempted to reply but her friend interupted her softly.  
  
"You don't need to answer these questions to me, just answer them to yourself," she offered with a warm smile and watched the curtains dance gracefully with the wind, the light fabric moving as if it was alive. "When was the last time you laughed? When was the last time you forgot to worry? When was the last time you felt happy and secure? When was the last time you felt that you belonged?" Her voice had become quieter with every word and was barely above a whisper when she added, "Just think about it. It might make the next decision easier."  
  
"Which decision?" Hitomi mumbled in reply, trying to ignore her racing heart, and Yukari's brown eyes flashed angrily.  
  
"There is an old saying, Hitomi," she replied, determined, and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "It is about a boy and his sensei. The boy was asking him how he could detach himself from what is binding him to his past. In reply, the sensei went to the trunk of a tree and embraced it, wailing what he could do to make the tree let go of him."  
  
The red-haired woman watched her friend who had different emotions chasing each other across her features. "It's all up to you," she carried on and Hitomi bit her lip. "The harder you try to run away, the sooner your past will catch up with you. Just turn around one last time and end it so that you can continue your way without the fear of being followed."  
  
When Hitomi remained silent, with her wide blind eyes focused on everything but Yukari, she sighed and turned to leave. The delicate noise of a silver wind chime was gracefully floating through the air, the fragile construction dancing in the wind. "Yukari, wait!" Hitomi's hesitant voice stopped her when she was halfway across the living room.  
  
"I don't know what to do," she continued when the redhead didn't reply, her silence indicating that she was only waiting for Hitomi to speak up. "He told me I should stop thinking about him and wished me a nice life before he walked out on me. And I just don't know what to do."  
  
"Van was crazy about you, the last time I saw him, Hitomi," Yukari countered and put her hands on her hips, one delicate brow raised in suspicion. "You cannot just turn off these feelings. What did you do to make him leave?"  
  
"I told him to do so," Hitomi answered truthfully, taking a shaky breath. Why did she suddenly feel as if she couldn't have made any bigger mistake but that?  
  
"What?" the redhead blurted out, a frown crossing her face and an ominous gleam entering her eyes. "Why, for heaven's sake?"  
  
"Did you see the scars on his forearms?" she asked in a voice that was lacking any emotion and Yukari's expression changed as if someone had turned over a page, her brows raised and her mouth half open. "I accused him of taking drugs."  
  
"But that isn't the reason of the scars," Yukari whispered and Hitomi shook her head, Tiara watching both women with attentive eyes.  
  
"No, it isn't," she replied hoarsly and ran a hand over her face.  
  
"I know what you were doing," Yukari then broke the silence after Hitomi's words, her lips curling into the smile of a child who had just found the hidden Christmas gifts in the closet of her parents. "You were searching for an excuse, weren't you? You were searching for a reason to kick him out of your life. And when you thought you had finally found it, you acted on instinct and without thinking of the consequences."  
  
The barking of a dog wavered into the living room and Tiara's ears twitched, her brown eyes however not leaving Hitomi.  
  
It was true. She had wanted to find a reason to be mad at him, to yell at him, to have an excuse to make him leave. She had wanted to find one all the time; all those times he had made her laugh, the times he had made her cry, the times he had made her feel so incredibly special. All this time, she had wanted him to just leave her alone, leave everything and especially her the way it used to be.  
  
He had the ability to change her. She had known it the minute he had appeared on her doorstep, telling her he would kidnap her. And it had scared her like nothing else before.  
  
This was what she had tried so hard to avoid; changes. Her life had just turned back to normal after the betrayal of her former boyfriend when he suddenly decided to burst into her life. Hurricane Van.  
  
He went across the coast, leaving nothing the way it was and pure confusion in his wake. She hadn't asked for it. She couldn't count how often she had thought about what would have been if she hadn't run into him that day. It would have been so much easier. It would have spared her so many sleepless nights. She hadn't asked for someone to affect her that much.  
  
And now that Van was gone, she wanted to return to the normality of him being around her. The normality of him showing up at her door, unanounced. The normality of his crazy ideas and warm laughter, of the uneasy feeling he caused to crawl through her.  
  
She wanted it back. Everything.  
  
"Do you think that I'm the biggest moron on this planet?" she questioned with a sigh and her eyes glinted like emeralds in the sunlight.  
  
"No," Yukari answered with a casual shrug but couldn't hide the smirk that tugged at the corners of her lips. "I think you're the biggest moron in the entire universe and all the parallel universes there are. But I already knew it the day I met you and it doesn't change that I like you."  
  
"Good," Hitomi replied, a grin spreading over her face that was like a sunrise. "That was just what I wanted to hear."  
  
**#--#  
**  
He sat slumped on his chair, his elbows braced against the desk and his hands burried in his raven-black hair, auburn eyes staring down at a book. He had to pore over the heavy tome during the summer break and it was actually quite interesting but somehow he wasn't able to get past this one sentence. He had already read it for twenty times now and still didn't know what it meant for when he reached the end of the sentence he had forgotten what had been written in the beginning. Actually, he couldn't remember what had been written on the last fifteen pages.  
  
With a grunt, he squeezed his eyes shut, the letters beginning to dance a jig on the page because he had been staring far too long at it. Running his hands frustratedly through his hair, he straightened and leaned against the backrest of the chair, eyes glued to the white ceiling.  
  
He could hear the monotonuous clicking of keys from where Dilandau was hammering on the keyboard, sensible red eyes hidden behind sunglasses so to lessen the damaging effect of the screen at least a bit. The music in his headphones was blaring so loud that Van could understand every sreamed word, the noise only interupted when Merle turned a page of the magazine she was leafing through.  
  
"I told you to leave me the hell alone half an hour ago, just to remind you," Van muttered angrily and Millerna raised her gaze from admiring her fresh-painted toe nails, blond curls swaying gently.  
  
"You did?" she replied in surprise and raised her delicate brows. "I didn't hear anything but that usual and incoherent muttering of yours. Did he say something, Merle?"  
  
"Not that I know," she replied and brushed a pink strand out of her face, not even bothering to look up. Lying flat on her stomach on Van's bed, she shifted the lollipop in her mouth and nudged the albino who sat right beside her with her foot. "What do you say, Dilandau?"  
  
Dilandau jumped as if stung by a bee and swirled around with a confused expression on his face, pulling the headphones out of his ears. At once, the volume of the music increased, making all three of them wince. It was way beyond the pain barrier. "Huh?"  
  
Merle smirked. "Did you hear that Van said we should leave him alone?" she repeated sweetly and Dilandau looked up, facing his thoroughly annoyed room mate.  
  
"No," he finally answered. "No, I heard nothing."  
  
"See?!" Merle exclaimed triumphantly, shoving Dilandau back around so he faced the computer again, and Van rolled his eyes. Needless to say that Dilandau had been trying to master the art of making himself turn deaf already half an hour ago.  
  
"Is there nothing else to devote yourselves to but getting on my nerves?" Van questioned darkly and both Millerna and Merle glared at him with simultaneous anger. "Where is Dryden when I need him to pull you off my shoulders, Millerna?"  
  
"He's busy with a practical training in his father's enterprise but I already told you," she growled in reply, trying to strangle him with just her will-power. "And besides, the world does not evolve around you, just to remind _you._ You have no right to kick us out for we're here to keep Dilandau company and not to pester you. Go somewhere else when you feel disturbed. Nobody's forcing you to stay here."  
  
A look of something Millerna had rarely seen flickered across Van's features when he just stared at her, even Dilandau watching with his pale eyebrows narrowed in worry. Millerna was about to open her mouth when he suddenly spoke up. "You know what?" he said with a stony expression and slammed his book shut, making all of them jerk. "That was the best idea you've ever had!"  
  
He nearly knocked over his chair when he rose and gruffly grabbed his keys, heading for the door without a glance back.  
  
"Van!" Millerna barked and scrambled over his bed, throwing over the small pot of nail paint in the process. A puddle of pink liquid immediately formed on Van's comforter.  
  
"No, you were right," he replied harshly and held out his hand to stop her, violet eyes flashing at him. "I have no right to kick you out. So, when I don't want you to be around me, I'll just leave. Thank you for the advice."  
  
"It's been a week since you last saw her and you've been behaving like a masterpiece of an asshole ever since!" Millerna exclaimed vividly, her fists shaking at her sides. She was hardly able to restrain herself from jumping him and shaking some sense into this stubborn head of his and choking him until he was all blue in the face. "What the hell happened?"  
  
He paused with his hand on the doorknob and wanted to smack himself for just considering to think about telling her. There was nothing to tell. Nothing at all. The topic was finished. She had finished it.  
  
With his eyes averted and without a reply, he turned the knob and pulled open the door. Black strands tumbled into his view when he looked up and he felt his heart sink into the hollows of his knees by the sight that greeted him.  
  
Hitomi had been standing in front of the door to his dorm room for solid twenty minutes, arguing with herself whether to knock or not. She had been just about to finally raise her arm when she had heard the voices. Angry voices. Though she hadn't been able to understand anything at all because disturbing music had been penetrating the wooden door right behind her.  
  
She was frozen to the spot when the door suddenly swung open, her emerald eyes wide and her breathing caught in her throat. She knew it was him. His scent was unique. Like a rainshower.  
  
The silence around them was deafening, even the music from the room across the hallway turned off. But then again, she wouldn't have been able to hear it anyway for her heart was beating so loud that she knew Van could hear it and beat so fast that she thought it would raise the white flag and simply stop working at any second. She would die from heart-attack before she could tell him why she was there.  
  
"Van."  
  
Her voice was quiet, not more than a whisper, and filled with a desperation that pulled him mercilessly out of his reverie, calling their last encounter painfully to his memory. She had made it clear that she didn't want him in her life.  
  
Closing his eyes so her appearance wouldn't cast a spell over him again, he slammed the door shut.  
  
His situation was quite hopeless. In his room, there was the albino edition of Lex Luther together with Super Girl and Cat Woman, ready to tear him apart. Out in the hallway, blocking his only way of escape, was his cryptonite. Oh joy.  
  
But it wasn't as if he had any right to a say in that matter for Hitomi had already put her stick between the door and the frame.  
  
"Please, listen to me," she continued and he pressed his lips to a thin line. "That you owe me for I was listening to you as well. Please, we need to talk, Van."  
  
"There is nothing to talk about," he replied coldly, his voice strange even to his ears. "I said everything I wanted to say."  
  
"But I didn't," Hitomi countered and leaned against the door. "I don't want you to remember me being a cold-hearted bitch if you remember me at all that is."  
  
He was unable to stop his lips from quirking at her words. She was using his own words against him.  
  
Glancing at his friends out of the corners of his eyes, he caught them turning quickly away from him, the ceiling suddenly highly interesting. His features softened and a faint smile stole across his lips.  
  
"I'm sorry," he whispered in their direction and taking a deep breath, he slid out of the room.  
  
Once outside, he watched the image that had haunted his thoughts and dreams with unreadable eyes. Only this time, it wasn't just a mere shadow of her features, a mere echo of her voice, this time, it was Hitomi in flesh and blood, breathing and squirming right in front of him. She had taken a step backwards, her eyes averted to the ground. Long lashes were hiding them from his view and her delicate fingers were playing nervously with a piece of fabric.  
  
He had tried to deny that he hadn't been thinking of her but had failed miserably. Up to that day he had hoped she would come out of her shell but her words had been way too audible. How he had wished to be deaf that very minute. Maybe he shouldn't have told her. Maybe he shouldn't have went to talk to her at all.  
  
"Let's go for a walk," she finally broke the heavy silence and stuffing his hands casually in the pockets of his pants, Van turned to head down the hallway but a soft hand on his arm made him stop.  
  
He was hardly able to restrain himself from snatching his arm away, the goosebumps spreading across his skin absolutely and totally uncalled-for. Looking at her, he noticed that she was still avoiding to raise her gaze and Van lifted a dark brow in questioning, waiting for her to speak.  
  
Instead of saying something, she just held out the black fabric. She would have laughed if she had been able to see the bewildered expression on his face. "I want you to understand me," she explained and released his arm, unfolding the fabric. "It's a blindfold that I want you to put on."  
  
Van eyed her and then the blindfold suspiciously, before he shrugged and mumbled a short "Fine." He reached for the blindfold but Hitomi hastily retracted her hand, making him frown.  
  
"No," she said quickly. "No, let me do it. You mustn't peek."  
  
She seemed to hesitate for a moment, as if waiting for him to contradict, before she slowly stretched out her hand. "Can I touch your face?" she asked carefully, stopping mere centimeters away from his face.  
  
The question seemed ridiculous but for her it was an intimate gesture and she knew from experience that some people weren't comfortable with it.  
  
"Go ahead."  
  
Van held his breath when her surprisingly cold fingers touched his chin and traced gently over his flushed cheeks and the bridge of his nose up to his eyebrows. Her fingers were to her what a brush was to a painter, creating a faint image of his features in her mind. But it wasn't a picture made of colours, it was rather a guess made of vague outlines, scents and feelings.  
  
The hint of a smile parted her lips when she stroked unruly strands of his raven-black hair out of his face, his eyes fixed steadfastly on her blind ones. The intense auburn gleam vanished in shadows when Hitomi placed the blindfold over his eyes, tying a knot skillfully at the back of his head.  
  
With a satisfied nod, she traced the fabric once more, before she left the warmth of his skin and held up four fingers in front of his face.  
  
"How many fingers?" she asked and cocked an eyebrow.  
  
Van tilted his head to the side and knitted his brows under the blindfold as if in great thought. "Thirteen," he replied with a casual conviction in his deep voice as if he had just told her that the sky was blue.  
  
Hitomi frowned at him and though he couldn't see it, the shadow of a smile rushed across his features.  
  
Without another word spoken, she reached for his arm and led him down the hallway and down the stairway to the exit of the building. Van's steps were clumsy and hesitant and he stumbled more than once over his own feet, swallowing the curses that lay on his tongue. He unconsciously tightened the grip around Hitomi's arm, the continuous tapping of her stick leading the way.  
  
An intense wave of warmth washed over him as soon as they had passed the doors, his skin prickling lightly. The air was hard to breath, thick with the scent of summer heat.  
  
"Ah, look whom we have here," a familiar voice drawled from beside him, the crunching of stones under feet reaching his ear.  
  
"Yukari?" he questioned and the redhead smiled by the sight of him clinging blindly to Hitomi's arm, head tilted backwards so to peek from under the blindfold. He looked absolutely hilarious.  
  
"Long time no see, right Van?" the young woman replied with a grin and he felt something being pressed in his hands. "I'm just here to introduce you to your guide for today. Tiara, say hello."  
  
A bark and an almost violant tug at his arm were the reply and Van struggled to remain standing on his feet. "What is this all about?" he demanded but Yukari just smiled silently.  
  
"Patience is a virtue," she chirped and Van glared through the fabric that covered his eyes.  
  
"Patience is the art of slowly getting angry," he retorted and Yukari noisily stuck out her tongue at him, before turning to Hitomi with a sly grin on her lips. "Good luck. I gotta go, now. My date is waiting."  
  
"Is it worth asking his name, this time?" Hitomi called out after Yukari's retreating footsteps, biting down a smile.  
  
"Therefore you deserve one hell of a hit!" the redhead yelled over her shoulder and waved her arm threateningly though she knew neither of them could see it. "Amano! His name is Amano!"  
  
Hitomi shook her head and softly tugged at Van's arm, urging him to follow her. "Come on."  
  
** #--#**  
  
It was strange. It was strange not to know where one was going. It was strange not to see the sources of the sounds around him. He felt as if he was swaying from side to side, as if his feet stepped into nothing, as if he was going to fall down a staircase when he made the next step. He was concentrating so hard on the things he couldn't see that he only noticed that they had entered the sidewalks of Fanelia when a truck thundered past him, the wind tearing at his hair and the earth shaking slightly under his feet.  
  
Van wanted to stop and absorb everything around him but stumbled when the ladies pulled him along. The noise of cars roaring along the street mixed with the chatting of people, amused glances following the unusual couple that was, of course, completely oblivious to it. The air was packed with sounds which were alternating as if he was listening to a medley where the songs changed every ten seconds. The only sound he missed was the sound of her voice.  
  
He wished he could see her face. He wanted to read from it what she was thinking, what she was feeling for her eyes were blind not numb. She hadn't said a single word since Yukari had left. She hadn't asked a single question. After all he had told her, she hadn't asked a solitary question.  
  
"You're not saying anything," Hitomi suddenly voiced, making him snap out of his thoughts.  
  
"Why should I?" Van replied casually and carefully walked down some steps. "I told you I had nothing to say. You were the one who wanted to talk. So, talk!"  
  
"You're mad at me," she stated quietly and against his better judgement, Van's lips turned faintly upwards.  
  
"I am?" he countered and raised his brows, his voice a bit more provokingly ironic than he had intended to.  
  
"I stood you up and sent you into no-where," Hitomi explained, guilt nagging at her words and her head bent down.  
  
"That you did. Quite expertly," the young man agreed matter-of-factly, slightly raising his voice when a horde of noisy children giggled and screamed past them. "You made me look like a fool, although I have to admit that Adon is a really nice place. I liked the loneliness and the friendly chicken."  
  
"You're being sarcastic," she muttered and led him swiftly around a corner.  
  
"But I'm not mad at you," he replied and a small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. "And you know what? I want to. I really want to be mad at you. Gods, you completely messed up my thoughts so that I took one of Millerna's romance novels to my class instead of my psychology book and didn't notice until I had to read out page 124!"  
  
Hitomi bit her lip to stop herself from giggling. "Just laugh," Van snorted. "Everybody else in my class did just that."  
  
"I didn't come to apologize, Van, but to tell you my reason," she said after a moment of hesitation. "I did it because I was afraid. Afraid of trusting you."  
  
They were standing in a buzzing beehive of people who were waiting for a traffic light to change, conversations floating around them like leaves in an autumn storm. When a soft beeping filled their ears, they were swepped across the street with a wave of moving bodies, the clicking of shoes on asphalt a continuous noise.  
  
Hitomi took his silence as a motivation. At least, he wasn't telling her to shut up.  
  
"You see," she continued quietly after they had been washed upon the sidewalk again, the stream of people disappearing like waves on the beach. "Trust is very important for me. It's one of the basics of my world. I trust Yukari when she tells me that I look okay and didn't smear the mascara all over my eyelids once again. I trust Tiara when she leads the way just like you're trusting her right now that she won't lead you into a streetlamp or something like that."  
  
"You said you had been disappointed once," Van said quietly and Hitomi nodded absently.  
  
"Yes," she replied dully, emotions gone from her voice. "I thought it was perfect, I thought he accepted and respected me, I thought he understood, I thought he loved me. I was wrong."  
  
She skook her head and snorted disdainfully. "I felt that something was going on, I felt that he tried to avoid me, drifting more and more away from me. When I confronted him after finding out that he was cheating on me, he told me that I was a burden and that he just didn't break up with me earlier because he pitied me."  
  
Van felt his grip tighten around Tiara's leash, the feeling of rage rushing through him.  
  
A burden! He felt like laughing. Hitomi was anything but that. She was stubborn like a mule and could be annoying beyond sanity but she had rammed both of her feet firmly into the ground, ready to resist everything that was to come. And he knew she had better control over her life than he ever had over his own one.  
  
She had entered his life with the impact of an asteroid, leaving a smouldering crater where his former life had been. If someone had told him that he would do all these crazy things during those hardly three weeks that he would know her, he would have laughed his head off. She had blindingly lightened his life with her ability to cast a smile upon his features.  
  
_Days that we share are like treasures   
A treasure like fire is to mankind   
My hands will try to carry you to heaven   
But since I've seen you, you've brought heaven to my mind  
_  
"Where are we going?" he questioned softly when she remained silent.  
  
"It's a surprise," she answered with a crooked smile and Van sighed. "I want to show you something."  
  
"Fine," he scoffed and turned his face to her. "But could you, at least, tell me where we are? I feel slightly lost and knowing you, you could be leading me to the edge of a cliff and tell me that I just had to take a step ahead to have my question answered."  
  
A giggle broke from Hitomi's lips that soon erupted into unrestrained laughter, the clear sound echoing into the summer sky. A wistful smile settled on Van's lips.  
  
"You do wrong by me," she huffed but her features betrayed her, her smile slipping into her voice.  
  
"I was just stating the facts," Van replied with a casual shrug. "There is nothing I wouldn't believe you capable of doing and I cherish my life." He paused and turned his head away, what he said next so quiet that it was almost drowned by the noises of the street, "I really do."  
  
Hitomi heard his whisper nevertheless and knew what he had meant. "We just passed by the Museum of Art," she explained in response to his question, changing the way of conversation with her blind gaze fixed on the paved sidewalk. "When we enter a cloud of flower scents within the next steps, we're on the right way."  
  
And as if on cue, a wall that smelled of lilies and roses hit him straight in the face right that moment. It was as if he could feel the scent on his skin, the air thick and his nostrils prickling with the sensation.  
  
"What is this?" Van asked and held his nose high, inhaling deeply.  
  
"Fanelia's biggest flower shop," she answered, allowing the symphony of scents to caress her senses  
  
"How do you know?" he questioned incredulously. "I mean, we were talking for almost the whole time and though you could concentrate on the way?"  
  
"You could say it's in my blood because I've been walking it very often," Hitomi replied with a warm smile, a far-off look entering her eyes. "Did it never happen to you that you were lost in thoughts while walking and reached your destination nevertheless, although you couldn't remember how you got there?"  
  
Yes. Almost everytime when he had been walking home from the bus stop, after school. He would walk the whole way in a daze and look up in surprise when he suddenly found himself in front of his door. His mom would greet him at the door and ruffle his hair, before disappearing in her garden again. He would listen to her hum a song while doing his homeworks.  
  
After the accident and the time in the hospital, he found himself countless times in front of that one light-brown door again. Everything was the same. The tiny door in the fence still squeaked as if it was being tortured everytime it was opened. The façade still needed new paint. His basketball still lay in the flower bed under the kitchen window. Everything was the same but that nobody opened the door when he knocked.  
  
No matter how often he knocked. No matter how hard he knocked.  
  
Neighbours would call his adoptive parents and they would find him at the door, disconcerted and silent, his palms sore and his knuckles bleeding.  
  
"Van?"  
  
His head snapped around at the voice and for a moment his whole body tensed, Hitomi and the blindfold forgotten. Sighing, he shook his head when the memory came crawling back through a turmoil of thoughts. "What's the matter?"  
  
"You're hurting me," she whispered softly and he hastily released her arm when he noticed that he was holding it in a voilent grip, murmuring an apologize.  
  
It had been quite some time since he had last thought about the events that had taken place seven years ago. Seven years and he could feel the scars burn on his forearms as if he had just awoken in hospital.  
  
"Have you ever been to the Museum of Art?" he asked all of a sudden and ran his free hand through his hair, staggering slightly when Tiara pulled him along.  
  
Hitomi blinked in surprise, turning her head in his direction. "Yes," she replied slowly. "Once. Yukari dragged me along. She told me what she saw on the paintings and the sculptures I was allowed to touch. Why do you ask?"  
  
"I don't know," Van shrugged. "I was just wondering for you can't see paintings. It's hard to imagine. I mean, although I can't see right now I can imagine Tiara dragging me because I saw her before. I can imagine the street and the cars speeding past because I saw them before. When I hear people chat in a street café I can imagine it in my mind because I saw it before. The blindfold isn't any comparison to your blindness. Just take reading the menu in a restaurant! So much things that I take for granted aren't a matter of course for you!"  
  
"But this is natural for me," Hitomi countered smiling, reaching for his arm when she turned left, pebbles suddenly crunching under their feet. "This is my world which I'm used to and which I cherish."  
  
"Where are we?" Van quickly threw in, turning his head in every direction at the sudden change of surroundings. A cool breeze was rushing across his skin and a clear, fresh scent hovered in the air, the noise of the cars replaced by soft conversations and the chirping of birds. "I didn't know there was a park near the museum."  
  
"Well, _near_ isn't entirely correct," the green-eyed woman replied and the trace of a smile was visible on her lips. "It's been quite some time since we passed the museum."  
  
Van simply nodded and frowned when the conversation came back to him that he had interupted. "And you really cannot see anything?" he questioned boldly and the hidden smile broke into a wide grin on Hitomi's features. "Even nothing is black, isn't it? There must be something you see. I mean like a wall where you cannot look past. Is it black? White? Yellow?"  
  
"Van," she sighed in surrender. "I'm blind from birth on and never saw a single colour in my entire life! Even if it was pink-green-striped I couldn't tell you."  
  
"So, your wall is pink-green-striped?" the young man kept on and she simply smacked his arm, making him chuckle.  
  
It was peacefully quiet around them, people rarely crossing their way while Hitomi was leading him through a labyrinth it seemed. Once the loud voice of a child wavered from between the trunks of old trees but was immediatelly hushed.  
  
"Can I ask you something?" Van questioned warily after a long silence and Hitomi felt her heartbeat quicken when she reached twenty-four in her thoughts, small stones crunching under their feet. "Why are you doing this? And why did you tell me all that?"  
  
Taking a deep breath, she stopped, forcing Van to a halt as well. "Because I wanted to come to terms with my past," Hitomi answered firmly and took a few, hesitant steps until she stood right in front of him. "I had to consider it finished or it would have haunted me forever. And so must you. It will never work if we don't let the past be past. I'm done. Now, it's your turn."  
  
With her brows knitted determinedly, she reached carefully out to take off his blindfold, his dishevelled hair tickling between her fingers. Ever so slowly, the black fabric slid from his eyes and he quickly closed them when bright sunlight blinded him. With a confused expression, he finally took in his surroundings and Hitomi waited, her heart hammering against her ribs.  
  
Van's auburn gaze darted across the trees that secluded the place like an insurmountable wall, their thick foliage allowing only a few sunbeams to pass through. Straight ways cut the shaded ground in barred patterns, people standing and kneeling occasionally in between the rows.  
  
A wave of goosebumps spread across his skin when he noticed where she had brought him and he turned completely rigid when the realization sunk in of _why_ she had brought him here. Although he had never been at that place he knew exactly where he was.  
  
With the blank expression of a lake that had frozen over, he let go of Tiara's leash and turned around, intending to leave. Immediately.  
  
"Van, wait!" Hitomi exclaimed and blindly reached out, instinctively grabbing the first thing that came in contact with her fingers and what happened to be Van's shirt.  
  
He stopped. "You had no right to bring me here," he stated, quiet and dangerously calm, turning around to seize her with eyes colder than the winters in the northern parts of Gaea. "Who do you think you are?!"  
  
He had barked the last words, his voice void any emotion but Hitomi just squared her shoulders. She had known that he wouldn't fall down on his knees and thank her. She had known he would be angry, had known he would yell. And if it was what he wanted, it was fine with her. "Someone who wants to help you!" she replied firmly and Van gave a hollow laugh.  
  
"Gods, what is it with you?" he questioned angrily and spread his arms. "First, you tell me to stay the hell out of your life and then, you suddenly feel like poking your nose into businesses that shouldn't be the slightest of your interest?"  
  
"Yeah, because you can't handle it yourself!" she replied vividly, becoming unintentionally louder. "Seven years and you're still running away from it! Aren't you tired? Don't you want to end it? Don't you want to finally make your peace?"  
  
"What do you know?" Van spat and Hitomi slightly backed away, the words like a punch in the stomach. Hurt flickered across her eyes but angrily, he simply ignored it.  
  
Even he had his limits. He could accept her straining his patience to an incredible amount, could accept telling her what he considered sufficient but he could not accept her barging into the basement of his past. She had no right to question his doing, to accuse him, to make advices. His past was his past only. It was his private little place to atone.  
  
"A lot!" Hitomi countered, outraged, blind eyes blazing. Her Golden Retriever was sitting at her feet, watching her with pricked ears. "I may not have experienced what you went through but I know what it is like to wonder what would have been if I had done it differently, if I hadn't done it at all, if I had said something else! But you know what? It's absolutely meaningless for you can't make it undone!"  
  
"Do you think I don't know that?" he barked and Hitomi raised her chin, not even blinking an eye at his harsh words. "I know, okay?! I know!"  
  
"Then why do you act as if you don't?" she exclaimed hotly and Van clenched his fists at his sides.  
  
"It's all that easy for you, isn't it?!" he yelled, a flaming red overcoming his narrowed eyes. "I only have to go to the grave of my parents and get over with it, right? And what do you think should I tell them? Mom, dad, I'm sorry to tell you but your youngest son is a goddamn coward who wasn't able to deal with your death?"  
  
"You were young!" Hitomi replied just as loudly and frustrated. "You were scared! Stop reproaching yourself!"  
  
"There is no excuse for what I did!" he shouted, a trace of disbelief in his voice as if he couldn't understand why she was arguing with him about it.  
  
"You simply do not notice that you made yourself a coward by wanting to forget about it all!" she retorted and Van closed his mouth which he had already opened to contradict. "Weren't you? When you don't remember, nobody else will, right? Nobody will be there to reproach you anymore, right? But you know why? Because you're the only one who's reproaching!"  
  
He didn't reply, just stared at her with an unreadable expression on his features. "Why do you only see the death in it all?" she continued, her blind gaze raised. "You were given a second chance, for heaven's sake! You graduated from high school and are now into college. Someday, you'll help pubescent teenagers or their parents in that matter or gods know what! You'll have a family! You've got your whole life ahead but you're about to waste it for you cannot accept what you did! It happened and you cannot change it! And sad but true but you only have the opportunity left to live on!!"  
  
"Why are you doing this?" his whispered words startled her more than his yelling, the sudden change of mood and topic utterly confusing her.  
  
"What?!" she uttered, her eyes losing their firmness and beginning to dart around.  
  
"This," Van stated matter-of-factly and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "You're yelling at me, obviously trying to really annoy me. You're accusing me of lying to myself like that damn psychoanalyst did at the time. Why? What is in it for you?"  
  
She just blinked. "This isn't about me," was the curt reply and Van narrowed his eyes.  
  
"Yes, it is," he countered quietly, a strong breeze rustling through the trees around them. "Time to decide. What do you want, Hitomi?"  
  
What did she want? Something she hadn't known she was waiting for, for a long time. Something she had finally understood during their last encounter. With her wings ripped out, she had been waiting for someone with the strength to lift her up. And when she thought about what made her feel as if she was flying, she could only think of Van; the dolphins, the kiss, his voice suddenly beside her when he was the last one she had expected to meet. Everything led to him.  
  
"What do you want me to answer?" she whispered, her lips barely parting and Van closed his eyes when he felt himself being drawn into a bottomless abyss of ever green.  
  
"That you won't leave me now," he replied just as quietly. "That you'll still be there when I'm finished with this."  
  
"So, you're not going to run away this time?" Hitomi questioned carefully, hope weaved in between her words and by opening his eyes again, Van saw that she struggled to keep her delicate eyebrows from raising in anticipation.  
  
A small smile broke across his features like sunlight twinkling through layers of grey clouds but it vanished immediately when he turned his head away from her. And for the first time, his gaze fell upon the two gravestones right beside the path they were standing on. "What do you connect with white?"  
  
Hitomi frowned briefly, before answering. "Purity and innocence," she said and added with a smile, "And angels. My mom told me that they had white wings, glowing as if they were made of sun. Why do you ask?"  
  
"The gravestones are made of white marble," he replied and the wind carried his words to the top of the trees where they vanished among the soft murmur of the leaves.  
  
It were just two graves among hundreds of other ones, a net of pebble-clad pathways leading past them. The branches of an old weeping willow reached down to the top of the sparkling stones, caressing them tenderly when a light breeze breathed life into them every now and then. The names of his parents and his brother had been chiselled skillfully into the firm surface, the letters twining into an ivy tendril.  
  
"It seems as if all those years have never past," Van spoke into the silence, his auburn eyes focused on something in a different time. "The stone ist still smooth and clean and the flowers look as if they have just been placed there. Do you know who cares for the graves?"  
  
"Your adoptive parents," Hitomi answered gently and felt a light nudge at her leg, reminding her of her dog who had been waiting silently at her side. With an apologetic smile, the young woman ran her hand over Tiara's head and groped for the leash.  
  
"Did you talk to them?" His voice was soft, an incredible contrast to the biting harshness from earlier.  
  
"No, I didn't," she stated. "I spoke with the cemetery attendant. He told me that Mrs. Aston comes here every Saturday...as well as Millerna."  
  
Van released a shaky breath and ran a hand nervously through his hair. They had never told him about it. He had never asked. All this time, his adoptive parents had taken care of something that actually he should have done, only that he had been too much of a coward.  
  
"They will always be proud of you, Van," Hitomi added as if reading his thoughts and he smiled forlornly.  
  
"Where do I start?" he questioned and a sombre glaze overcame his rusty- coloured eyes, his shoulders sagging tiredly as if he had just decided to stay this time; stay and not run away again. "There's just too much."  
  
"What was the last you told them?"  
  
"In the hospital," Van answered and looked guiltily down at his forearms, the white scars so clearly visible against his tanned skin. "I was yelling, telling them that I hated them for leaving me."  
  
Hitomi's eyes softened and her lips quirked faintly. "Then, you should apologize first."  
  
Van's pitch-black hair was swirling around his head when the wind increased, rustling through the poplar trees that reached like candles into the sky. Their white, cotton-like blossoms were sent into the air with every gust of wind and it looked as if it was snowing in the beginning of summer, myriads of blossoms dancing like snowflakes to the ground.  
  
The wind was pressing hard into his back, tearing at his shirt as if urging him to take a step ahead. And that was what he finally did; he stepped to the end of the flowerbed at the foot of the gravestones and began to speak, softly and quietly, his words like scab on a wound that had refused to heal for so long.  
  
The dying sun was flooding the sky with a deep orange and the first shadows of the night appeared from behind the trunks of the trees around them when he felt a soft touch on his arm. He watched Hitomi's fingers gently trace his scars before she entwined them shyly with his ones, until he finally raised his gaze to meet her eyes.  
  
"Someone you loved and lost is here, right?" he whispered softly and Hitomi nodded so faintly that he almost didn't notice.  
  
"My grandmother," she answered and a sad smile parted her lips. "That's why I knew the way so well. I've been here so often to talk to her. And I think she would like to finally get to know you."  
  
Van grinned down at her, studying her very features and imprinting the image in his mind so he would never forget that one moment, her smile for the first time one of trust. "You haven't been wearing your sunglasses lately," he commented after a brief silence and brushed his thumb tenderly over the back of her hand.  
  
"Yeah, because someone told me that I shouldn't hide," she replied quietly and squeezed his hand as if asking for support.  
  
"Must have been a really incredible someone," Van drawled and his eyes were sparkling mischievously, jumping on her little game.  
  
"Yeah, he is," Hitomi whispered and averted her eyes which caught the light of the setting sun, locking it forever in an embrace of pure jade. "And that was only one of the things he changed."  
  
"You should thank him, one day."  
  
"I will," she stated firmly and looked up, her blind eyes fixed unblinkingly on him. "If he grants me a second chance."  
  
The corners of Van's eyes crinkled when a boyish grin spread across his features and he raised her hand slowly to his lips, placing a light kiss on her knuckles. "He would be a fool if he didn't."  
  
_I've never seen and there's never been   
Anything with the beauty of you_

_ --_

THE END

My last thanks:  
  
**Kya77:** Lol, I hope it was good winks Thanks!!  
  
**SabrinaYutsuki:** Mwahaha, of course, she feels guilty!! I mean, who wouldn't?! And yes, I'll work on my other stories now!! grins Thank you!!  
  
**Namesake**: blushs I'm glad you like it!! Thankiez!!  
  
**SabineballZ:** Aua!! Mensch, arme Hitomi!! Das tut ja schon weh beim Lesen!! 'Ne Tefflon-Pfanne!!! :P Haha, aber diesmal hat er sie stehen lassen!! Jaja!! Irgendwann hat selbst er die Nase voll...trotzdem ist er sie natürlich nicht los wit blöd grins Hoffe dir hat das Ende gefallen. Und doch doch, Hitomi ist von Geburt an blind. Ist nicht so rübergekommen, oder?! sich am Kopf kratz Na jedenfalls, ein riesen Dankeschön für die vielen lieben reviews!!! Hab mich jedesmal wie verrückt gefreut!!! Auf das wir uns in anderen Geschichten wieder lesen zwinker Danke!!!!!  
  
**Spirit0:** Eeks!!! hides under carpet Sorries!!!! But hey, I'm glad I'm still stuck with you!! :P Would be a whole lot...er...calmer without you grins like mad So yes, the new threat was a whole lot worse than the other one glares My conscience would kill me if I made you kill yourself Oo But I'm glad you liked it and I enjoyed your review so much again!!! Thanks so much for the faithfulness!!!!!!!  
  
**snow blossoms:** grins like mad I dunno but your reviews always leave me grinning like a fool :P Aye, I hope I could make Hitomi seem a bit less bitchy with this chapter scratchs head It's not like she was doing all that intentionally...really, she did not! I mean, who could send HIM away??!!! sobs I wanna bake myself a guy!!!!!! :P Thanks so much!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Inda:** blushs Thank you!! And I hope I could make you fall off your seat this time :P  
  
**RavenX:** röter anläuft als die röteste Tomate Freut mich, dass du das denkst!! Danke!! Und yep, bin deutsch :P Haha, keine Angst. Abbrechen geht nimmer, da das hier das letzte Kapitel war grins Hoffe es hat dir gefallen!!!  
  
**Esca-lover:** Lol wipes brow I'm glad Van lost his stalker-face :P And hah, talk about romance-overdose!! I'm on a permanent romance-high Just hope the end wasn't too mushy..bites nails Thanks!!!!!!!!!  
  
**fireangel1621:** Why are they so stubborn?? Because it's so much more fun that way :P And see, no cliffy this time!! Aren't you just proud of me?! whistles innocently, before dashing off Thankiez!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Bradybunch4529:** sweatdrops I'm evil, I know. But look, it's finished now and all questions are answered...well, most of them sweatdrops again Thanks!!!  
  
**DesolateAznVamp:** Thanks!! And hey, that was fast, okay?! pouts  
  
**winged samurai:** bows to the floor Look, two wishes fulfilled at once!! I'm almost like Kinder Surprise!!! (DISCLAIMER: I don't own Kinder Surprise!) :P A (Relatively) quick update and they're together!!! :P Thanks!!  
  
**kawaii neko:** sobs I'm so predictable!!! :P But thanks!!!  
  
**iwakura.lain:** Lol, seems you're right!! :P Thanks!!  
  
**blonde-hitomi**: sweatdrops I think your review was cut...I hope it was cut coz only the part with Millerna being a pain in the neck arrived...hope you said you liked it, somewhere later there...gulps Erm...thanks??  
  
**SweetRan:** Lol, nicht so schlimm mit der Rechtschreibung!! zwinker U can write like thiz and evribodi'll understand u wie wild grins Freut mich, dass ich einen weiteren Leser gewinnen konnte und hoffe du kannst endlich ruhen!!! Danke!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Akari Kou:** Ja, ich weiß, dass ich hier jede Menge mehr hätte einbauen können, aber ich hatte mir vorgenommen, es bei dieser Länge zu belassen. Hoffe es wirkt nicht abgehackt oder zu schnell oder überstürzt oder so an Nägeln kaut Und nee nee, kein Grund sich zu enschuldigen!! Lol, hoffe das Finale war wenigstens ein bissel furioso!! sich verbeug Vielen Dank!!!!!!!  
  
**Kitsune's Girl370:** Lol, though I didn't update another story yet, I hope you liked it! Will work on the other ones now! Thanks!!  
  
**blubb:** Gute Güte!! Gab's die story vorher schonmal?! sich wild umblickt Oder ist alles so selbstverständlich?! hoil :P Aber nee, irgendwie zeigt's ja auch, dass meine Ideen nicht ganz so abwegig sind!! Und hah, sie waren nicht am Grab ihrer Großmutter!! Hah hah!! sich diebisch freut :P JK!! Jaja, ich weiß, ewige Liebe ist was feines verträumt seufz Und du bist so, wenn du keinen Kaffee hattest?! Oo Nach 'nem Kaffee kannst du mich von der Decke kratzen! Und schau, sie hat sein Gesicht wenigstens andeutungsweise abgetastet. Ich hab's nicht eher eingebaut, weil's sehr persönlich ist und sie ihm nun einfach mal nicht vertraut hat. Und das mit dem "Aussehen" ist so 'ne Sache. Ich meine, wir wissen, dass er der Traum meiner schlaflosen Nächte ist, aber hier sollte es nunmal nicht allein darum gehen. Ich wollte zeigen, dass es für manche Menschen weitaus wichtigere Dinge gibt und dass Schönheit soviel mehr umfasst als bloß Äußerlichkeiten. Gott, geht das nur mir so oder klang das grad fürchterlich schmalzig?! Ich geb's auf! Bin hoffnungslos romantisch...erschieß mich einfach!! :P Danke dir für alles und keine Angst, die Piraten segeln sicher bald wieder!!!  
  
**Sailor Hope:** blushs Thanks a lot!! And I hope this chapter finally made you get over it!! grins like mad  
  
**dreamingofflyingaway:** blushs hard Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**LisSakura**: grins Thanks!!!!  
  
**Foxfire The Great Demon:** blushs Thank you!!  
  
**azncopycat:** Lol salutes Lesson learned, I think!!! Thanks!!!  
  
**Niffer:** Aye, I'm so very glad you like it!!! Makes me grin all day!! And hehe, I perfectly know the graduation problem!! Thank you!!  
  
**Sereneblaze:** Mwahahaha, I often feel like yelling at the charas as well...okay, not in my story coz I make them the way they act cackles evilly But it's all good now, ne?! No need to yell anymore! grins like mad Thankiez!!  
  
**MimiGhost:** Thanks!!  
  
**Avaris Sky:** Hehe, I'm glad you found my lil story here!!! And hey, as if there could be anything but a happy ending!! I mean, mushy romance is practically running through my veins!! shakes head Hope you liked it!!! laughs insanely Bwahahahahahahaha, may you feel very challenged!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks so much!!!!  
  
**A/N: Okay, I also want to thank those ones who reviewed earlier chapters and those who read but didn't review!! Thanks so much, people!!! I hope you had as such a good time as I had!! Moreover, a bearish hug for the teddies who know that this is all for them grins like mad (Hey, p-teddy, you know that Van's last sentence is a-aaa-ll for you, don't you?! Damn those pea- brained idiots!!) And last but not least – Ah, I know, you're rolling your eyes right now but I really want to thank one last person – a big Thank You to someone who joined right in the beginning and was a permanent but very welcome pain in the neck ever since coz she had the advantage to be well- placed! Thanks, woman, for being such a great friend and for stating your opinion! You know who you are...at least, I hope so...one never knows coz you're blonde...  
  
shakes head And once again, I can't believe it's over!! I just hope it doesn't seem rushed or abruptly ended or something like this! crosses fingers Hopefully, I'll see you around again!! Thanks for reading and goodbye for now!!  
  
Dariel**


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